I trust my husband but I feel threatened by the relationship. Am I nuts?
2006-10-24 07:12:06 · 22 answers · asked by buggerhead 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
friends... ok- but VERY CLOSE friends... NO WAY!! I think there is always that part of each person that would cave in and want the spark they had before. not a good thing though- i dont think i could deal with it.
2006-10-24 07:17:59 · answer #1 · answered by Earthy Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are NOT nuts.
It is very inapproiate for him to be friends with any lady unless the two of you are together. And an X fiance.......is NO NO NO
A man or a woman should NEVER divide their attention to anyone of the opposite sex. It just leaves things open for an affair.
It is like playing with fire. WHY play with fire? Best to NOT even think about being near any fire. Why do risky behavior. ???
Another risk with being with a member of the opposite sex while being married, is what is called an emotional affair. Which means that a person could come to invest more time and confide more in someone other than their spouse and that isn't good
Get some counseling if your husband don't understand this
2006-10-24 07:33:04 · answer #2 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It wouldn't bother me. If he still enjoys the friendship of past loves then there must be something to him that these other women like in a male friend. The only man I ever had a relationship with whom I've not remained close friends with is my ex husband. If you feel threatened by her then that is YOUR doing, not her's or your husbands. I wouldn't say you were nuts but I would consider you insecure.
2006-10-24 08:43:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they have a long history it is likely they are really good friends. I would feel threatened too though. They've been intimate before you, and we all know if the moon is just right it can easily happen again, even if we don't intend it to. If you're husband, and his ex truely respect you they will understand and let go of each other for good.
2006-10-24 07:20:14 · answer #4 · answered by Skanky McSkankypants 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are very normal.
The feeling of friendship means the bonds of affection still exist. Whatever broke them up has not over-ridden the attraction that first brought them together and the time they shared while in love.
This does not mean he doesn't love you, it just means she is still a part of his life and he continues to feel the bond.
Have you told him you feel threatened? Did he listen? You should not "harp" on it or whine or keep bringing it up. The next time he has contact with her, you might just say, "I have explained that this continued relationship causes me to feel threatened" and then just DROP it. He might not "get it" for awhile, but eventually he will unless he just can't live without her. If that is the case, you need to know that.
2006-10-24 07:19:44 · answer #5 · answered by Nancy W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the answer is not a simple one because you don't disclose how long they have been an x, it is normal for the first few years after a divorce for them to be very cold with each other. then comes the period of forgiveness and understanding. in some cases people get along better divorced then they ever did married but what they expect from each other has changed. and the burdens they dealt with are no longer their. yes x's can become friends, but it would more like a sister brother sort of thing then anything else. because they will have did that done that before. you have to decide for yourself how you feel about it, and most of all i would ask him what he thinks, before making up your mind
2006-10-24 07:18:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's not a good idea. It didn't work out and he needs to move on and when he see her on the street say hi and bye. The only female relationships should be with family, friends and girlfriend or wife. Anything else is to difficult to catagorize the emotions.
2006-10-24 07:19:44 · answer #7 · answered by barbie2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to feel threatened. But if you trust him then you shouldnt have anything to worry about. He married you, not her, and there is a reason for that!
2006-10-24 07:15:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is great friends with his ex, and at first I was really worried about it, but then I got to know her and she is actually really nice,I like her now too! I guess though that my hubbys ex is just about to get married herself. Is this one single? Let him know that it worries you, and if he cant put that to rest, then there is really something to worry about
2006-10-24 07:25:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. In fact, if it's something that really bothers you, then it's something your husband should stop. You are the woman he picked - and he should honor you by not putting you in a situation that makes you uncomfortable.
2006-10-24 07:15:16 · answer #10 · answered by Rebecca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋