It keeps bothering me all the time and I really want this to come back to him.I can't wish anything good for him because he caused me tremendous amount of pain.I did alot for him.
2006-10-24 06:57:05 · 13 answers · asked by ABCD 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I understand you are HURT BAD, but please be careful of these things: Revenge and wishing someone ill will often come back on you. (What goes around, comes around- the karma thing). This can be a comforting thought, however, cause what ever crap he did to you, WILL come back on him. Let the Universe (or what ever God you believe in) provide for you and deal with this.
It is okay NOT to "wish anything GOOD for him, even though they say to pray for our enemies, etc. This is something I have a hard time with, too, so I am not telling you to do that, if you can not, but please don't wish anything bad on him...I don't want to see you hurt any more. AND- about his new girlfriend asking YOU to forgive him? WELL- this would freaking make me so mad! How dare her! HE should be the one asking YOU for forgiveness, it is none of her business--unless she is in the same vein that I am---in that---I hope that some day you CAN forgive him, for YOURSELF. To let it go. Some day....maybe when you are feeling more ready to do it. It IS possible for you to forgive, even though it FEELS inpossible right now. Maybe this is still all too fresh for you to deal with. (And fresh is subjective- fresh to you may be 2 years ago, I would never impose what fresh (or new) is to me onto you or expect you to forgive IN ANY ONE ELSE'S TIME but your own. Give yourself some more time with this. Be kind and patient with yourself. You are hurt and your wounds are still healing, but don't keep ripping the scabs off your wounds (sorry to be graphic, but you get the idea). Let yourself heal, then reconsider forgiving him. EVEN if HE himself does NOT ask you for your forgiveness....please consider forgiving him some day. Forgiveness, true forgiveness can be a very "Freeing" thing. Lastly, once you forgive, try NOT to take it back in your heart or mind. You can forgive and still not forget, that is okay. Some say it is not--that with forgiveness MUST come forgetting as well, but I disagree. I think it is important for us to remember (not as a GRUDGE, but as past experience to learn from) so we do not repeat the same mistakes or be forced to re-learn the same lessons. I know you said you "did a lot for him"---consider it charity work that you did. You will get rewarded, in my opinion, for your good deeds done without alterior motive. Practicing kindness is never for nothing. I do hope you let yourself heal from this and I wish you luck with it.
*PS-- I am IN NO WAY sticking up for the guy who cheated on you, I am just trying to look out for YOUR best interest.
2006-10-24 07:12:48 · answer #1 · answered by asylum07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will come back to him, don't worry about that! But don't wish bad things to happen to him just because you are hurt, because that's bad karma. Forgiveness is good. Think of how many people who have forgiven you. I am sure you have hurt people in your life, whether it be friends, family, boyfriends, etc. Maybe you didn't cheat, I understand all pains are different, but if you don't forgive, how can you expect people to forgive you? That's not fair. Some people say forgive & forget. I can't do that. It's easier for me to forgive than to forget. If you forgive him and put it behind you, it will make you feel sooo much better, I promise. Walking around, holding onto pain is no way to live. Eventually, it gets the best of you. This may sound really stupid, but it works for me: Write a letter to him with everything you want to say to him, pouring your heart out. When you are finished, rip the letter up & forgive him. Life is too short to be mad. Let it go. best of luck to you.
2006-10-24 07:14:38 · answer #2 · answered by Ashley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe that his girlfriend is asking you to forgive him. It sounds like they are just trying to hurt you more. I would do an emotional cleansing and wipe them both clean out of your life. But if you wish anything bad or try to get revenge its just going to keep you fueled with anger and you will never fully get over it and not be able to put forth good energy to have a better relationship in the future. Try and move on and I am sorry that this happened to you.
2006-10-24 07:14:19 · answer #3 · answered by blueskys 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the difficulty is a females might forgive however she by no means forgets for this reason she by no means rather forgives and with that a deterioration of the wedding and harm has been performed and particularly rough to fix, and all marriages are headquartered on believe and communique as soon as the ones are damaged all bets are off and it is only an issue of time earlier than divorce units in this kind of violation of believe is slap within the face to the opposite social gathering and for that reason is more commonly non forgivable offense the consistent considering if is he/she seeing any one ends up in paranoia and consistent assessments and balances, the opposite social gathering senses this and each events are on area, divorce then turns into a welcome alleviation practically as soon as that occurs you have got to notice there have been errors early on in a courting and also you forgave them that was once the first mistake which why it ends up in dishonest cheaters regularly have in them and regularly screen the behaviors lengthy earlier than any long run commitments the difficulty is the opposite social gathering most commonly forgives the opposite for the failings and indicators in hopes of securing a dedication, this why others ( outsiders ) are higher of recognizing a foul individual than the insider on the grounds that they don't seem to be looking for the dedication and for that reason can pass judgement on a individual higher. the difficulty is so typical that many BF/ GF finally develop into marriages ( out of desperation ) once they by no means must have even been a BF/ GF to start with a lot much less married . divorce is a have got to wanted correction to each events so each can restart and re examine what errors they made in picking out a associate and devote NEVER to copy such errors
2016-09-01 01:59:55 · answer #4 · answered by kernan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what, personally if it was me I would ask her if she knew if you two were talking at the time. If she says yes i want you to do me a favor. BEAT HER MUTHA#%* @$$. That's just disrespectable. N as for him there is an old saying..."what comes around comes back around". You just remember that. Don't you forgive him . He's not worth it if his other gurl has to crack you a few words so he'll be in your good grace. SHE STUPID HERSELF! Do this 4 Women Everywhere.
2006-10-24 07:10:42 · answer #5 · answered by datweetyburd 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex pulled something similar to this. We were together for almost 3 years when he cheated on me with my best friend. Well, it devastated me, and I couldn't get over it. I never once did anything wrong. He caused so much pain. It took me 3 years to truly get over him, and over this summer, he actually came over to my home, officially(and finally) apologizing for what he did. For me, it was closure. For him, he thought we'd be friends again. HA! He even told me that what happened was my fault because I broke up with him for cheating on me!
Time will heal your wounds...however you will never forget what happened, and unfortunately, it will probably haunt you in future relationships. Just tell the new girl that it's none of her business, and good luck, because she'll probably be the next one to get cheated on. And it's very ignorant of her to think that it would be that simple in the first place. As for the guy, ignore him. Don't talk to him, don't even acknowledge he exists, especially if he tries to contact you again.
2006-10-24 07:18:37 · answer #6 · answered by Maico 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all feel like that when we've been cheated on.
Karma! he will get what's coming to hiim, if not now, very soon!
Time heals allwounds my friend, nothing you can do now but lick your wounds. Or some hot guy at a local bar... go have some fun!
2006-10-24 06:58:46 · answer #7 · answered by kisme86 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u know u don't want to go back, now what was the question again? The nerve his galfriend, plis u better than this jerk, move on sista and don't beat up urself for him not recognising the best bloody chick he will ever come across
2006-10-24 07:02:56 · answer #8 · answered by Tumi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok. Cool. Stay strong. You're not obligated to forgive anyone. Tell them to get stuffed and stop talking to his girlfriend.
2006-10-24 07:01:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If don't feel to get him back.
Just move on.
You are free and you don't have any obligation to take him back.
You got some lessons, got punished - why you have to be disappointed again.
2006-10-24 07:01:31 · answer #10 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋