My wife admitted that she has been sleeping with an old boyfriend for the last 2 months. She does not "love" the other guy - its a pure physical relationship she says, which I believe.
I kind of expected the news - I have not been attentive to her, and we had been living more like roomates it seems for years than husband and wife.
Anyhow - she has been more "in the mood" the past 2 months. We have had sex more since her affair started, than the past 5 years combined probably. And, odd as it seems, we usually make love when she comes home late!
Her boyfriend is due to move out of town in January. She is
willing to stop everything now, but if it has lit a spark between us - should i let it continue until January? Is it odd that an affair seems to have brought us closer together? I know they have been in our house, and in our bed - that for some reason was more EXCITING to hear about, than hurtful.
Should I put up with it until Jan.?
Has anyone had an affair that "helped"
2006-10-24 06:53:05 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
fyi...the boyfriend does not know i know about them - i made my wife promise that he would stay in the dark about that.
2006-10-24 06:53:55 · update #1
be nice...jeeez...i was looking for honest answers from someone who maybe had an affair - and it did not turn out all bad. We are not losers - we are still very much in love.
2006-10-24 06:57:07 · update #2
Dude, leave this mess behind you. WTF?! You;re an idiot to let this continue, where is your manhood and respect for one's-self? Bro, are you sure you aren't gay? I mean, I don't know anyone in they're right mind that will allow a wife to continue an affair.
2006-10-24 06:54:03 · answer #1 · answered by brazoian 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Um hmm.... well if that is what lights your fire i guess.
Let me put it to you this way, I would not let it continue until january, let it stop now, and then see if you and your wife can make this new "fire" last.
If you two aren't strong enough to make it last without this? then you aren't strong enough to be together period.
It is a weak relationship that requires somthing as artificial as the "excitement" of an affair (which by the way... i dont' understand) You shoudl be able to keep her interested in you and in your relationship if you stop neglecting her and start working on your issues together as a couple.
She is just appealing to a fantasy that you have, and that isn't the basis to make this work long term.
Get your relationship healthy and then you can investigate other wasy to satisfy this fantasy of yours.
2006-10-24 06:59:30 · answer #2 · answered by Teclis98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey to each his own...If u feel closer to her because of this y not?
But what will u do to keep the flame of passion lite? Will u allow her to have another affair when he moves? these are the things u really have to think about .Would she be as understanding if it were u?
U two have to come to an understanding about the whole thing this picture is so much bigger then u two having great sex now.There is always some backlash to situations like this....
Be happy and Be careful..
2006-10-24 06:59:36 · answer #3 · answered by I dont trust no Bush but my own. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you like the fact that your wife has cheated on you and it spiced up your love life, Good. Should you allow her to continue, NO! If your willing to forgive her work it out another way. What where some of the things you did in the beginning to wow her, how did you get her to marry you? Go back to being the same person she feel in love with. She confessed to cheating because she wants you to know that she wants that attention from you, so she don't have to get else where she wants it from you.
2006-10-24 07:05:40 · answer #4 · answered by L@M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does sounds as if you have no hurt feeling about this affair. On the contrary, it has been as good for you as it is for her. Definitely your sex life had been in a rut. Maybe seeing your wife as a sexual being, desirable by another man, was what you needed to get yourself motivated and jump started. Let the affair run its course and take the helm from there.
2006-10-24 07:00:20 · answer #5 · answered by danaluana 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My only problem is if she is cheating on you now, what makes you think she will stop cheating on you when the boyfriend moves away. You are better then that, and by no means should you have to share your wife with her lover. I don't care how great the sex is you are much better then this. Tell her to stay with the ex boy friend and you need to move on. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-10-24 06:57:19 · answer #6 · answered by ravenmoon76 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it is making you happy and everyone is ok with it go ahead. You live once. You know how many couples do these kinds of things. Maybe you both should experiment? But if it's a problem for you to do anything, then you should leave her because that's selfish, so just ask out of curosity and see what she says and how she reacts.
2006-10-24 07:04:36 · answer #7 · answered by jfurlerbaby23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, well you really have to go with what you feel. I've delt with infidelity that has later gone on to make a relationship stronger, but the infidelity stopped. I'm glad that it's helping you two reconnect but you have to think what happens in Jan.? Will it all just go away again? These are things you really need to consider.
2006-10-24 06:57:24 · answer #8 · answered by pixi_doll 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are okay with it....but there is a question of dignity. Your wife is using you and the excitement of the situation to get everything she wants. If she respected you she would not have done this...and if you respect yourself, you should not put up with it. It is my thinking that once this guy moves away, your sex life will diminish once again. Give yourself what you deserve, and that is a woman that loves and respects you, and wants to have sex with you because of you.
2006-10-24 06:58:28 · answer #9 · answered by noambition 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I hope she is not moving out of town with him! I also hope she is not just giving you some to catch you of guard! I don't want to hear of you crying in January that you just can not understand your wife leaving when you were closer then ever! It is possible that she may think that you don't care about her or what she does. Then she may decide to leave you! Women are unpredictable!
2006-10-24 07:06:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like it's sparking some flames now but I bet it causes more problems in the long run. You need to take charge of it. Whe she gets home, work her man! No need to talk or BS, just sweep her off her feet and take her to the bed room!
2006-10-24 06:55:40 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋