What advice do you have for one who considers tolerance among the greatest of virtues but finds it difficult?

Question

nevertheless to tolerate intolerance?

Is there a psychological term for such a condition, or predicament if you prefer?

Is there a way out of this apparent paradox or maze of confusion?

docjp: I read what you wrote and I can see there is truth in it. I confess I don't fully understand it at this point. I will have to reread it several more times to come even close I suspect. Forgive me if my initial "label" for this line of thought is "Freudian Buddhism."

Answer 1

May I suggest considering another term? That term would be "Acceptance". Inherent within the term "tolerance" is "to tolerate", and if we look at this objectively, we cannot help but note that one is only setting aside ones intolerance... the key being, what is causing one to be "intolerant"?

Without an agenda, or an expectation, intolerance does not occur, does it? So, intolerance is the result of something else running within one that causes one [psychologically] to "see" another as somehow the "cause" of ones intolerance. This is simply a psychological converting of energy stimulated within oneself [due to some fear being stimulated] that is projected as ones intolerance, and it is ones MIND feeding ones brain delusional thoughts that justify ones intolerance and causes one to delusionally believe the other is "responsible".

The "way out of this....maze" is to "own" ones dishonest intolerance. To constantly remind oneself that to be intolerant is to be dishonest... because one is allowing ones own "secret agenda" to determine what one is experiencing... other than what is really going on within oneself.

What is going on is a "fear" that by allowing someone to do a certain "something" [that ones parent or parents would not have themselves tolerated] one may be abandoned by ones parents.

I know this sounds to the adult ear as something silly and foolish.... however, to ones MIND, what I have just expressed is what drives ones MIND to engage in intolerance. Because, until those deeply repressed misperceptions stored within ones MIND [which is a machine and has no discretion relative to the reality of what it misperceived in ones very early childhood] are disengaged via very special psychotherapy, they remain active.

So, short of such therapy, the best way to counter what is an automatic reaction to external events, is to "own" ones intolerance as being DISHONEST. And, to begin to grieve at ones dishonesty.
Ones grief is an eraser of those early childhood misperceptions.

Peace

Answer 2

Hmmm.... God does not tolerate sin.

He either forgives it or passes judgment on it, but never does he tolerate it and leave it as is.

Answer 3

Cognitive Dissonance - you want to be one way, but your thinking tells you that you are the opposite

Answer 4

I'd call it being normal. :-)

It's natural to not respect those around you who do not value virture & tolerance if these are qualities you yourself strive for.