Am I wrong for being upset....How would you feel?

Question

Last week I mentioned to my hubby that we should do date night and the other night after work he said he was taking me out for dinner..He took me to Arby's and went throught the drive through

Answer 1

Maybe he was joking. Laugh it off, and tell him where you want to go the next evening.

Answer 2

well is that your idea of romantic? doesn't sound like it.

However a couple of things should be considered here.

FIrst off was this your husband's idea of date night? You might ask him because I don't think that he would say that it was.

Secondly, was the night he took you to Arby's the night that you were suppose to go out on a date? or is it just the next night you left the house together?

Now my lady, might actually consider arbys to be romantic (I know I am lucky but), have you considered that he took you out so you wouldn't have to make dinner? Maybe it was just nice...

And here is the kicker, maybe he considered it to be a date of sorts, and maybe you need to not waste energy being upset and just communicate to him what your idea of a date night would include.

He is not able to read your mind, and maybe he didn't "get" exactly what you were trying to communicate when you first discussed a date night.

You might be able to train him by taking him out on a date night so that he can see more or less what you expect when you are discussing it.

Even if he considered that the date, and that you should be lucky he gave you that the key isn't to be upset that the first "date" didn't past muster, it is to communicate to him what you need from him in order for your "date night" to be a sucess in your mind.

Good luck my dear, and I hope this helps.

Answer 3

I had the same problem a couple months ago.
''hey we should go out''
We'd go to Target or something lame for about 15 min of our time so he could rush back home again.
Seriously, the best thing i've ever done was be completely open about that. If you expect a sit down dinner, or at least to go INSIDE arby's. Say that you need to feel like you're being treated out every once and a while. Some girls need that.(I don't want to say all because I don't want mega hatemail!) Just talk to him, if he has a problem say that it could push you away from him. The little things really do count. You're not wrong to be upset, it can be very fustrating. Talk to him hun!

Answer 4

Really? I don't know. maybe that's his idea of a joke. I would say thats all well and fine. First and last time though. it ceases being funny if next week its a McDonald's.

Let me say this. Four years ago my wife said "Where are you going for Christmas shopping?" (For her gifts) and without thinking I said "Wal-Mart". Well...there was this pause on the other end of the line and I hear this cold...chiiling in fact "Really?" I wish to point out this comment "Really?" was not posed as a question. It was more a statement...nay....a warning. Say what you want but when you're married as long as I've been..."Really?" sounded exactly like a rattlesnake shaking it's tail.

Well...candy and a few CDs were bought at Wal-Mart. After that it was off to the higher-end quality places. Why? Because I love her, I care for her....and I'm no fool. I know better.

Answer 5

Hi Hunny,
Did you not spend time together??? I love just spending time on my own with my BF we have now been together for 15 yrs and we dont go to big fancy placies for nights out in fact at the weekend we went to a night club together for the first time EVER!!! ilike going clubbing but he likes to stay in so this was a big deal for him and we had the best time didnot get home till 5am. But a few months ago my sister had our kids for the night we got loads off junk food and stayed up till 3 am watching tv and having sex on the sofa lol I cant decided which night was the best because both nights we had a fantastic time cause we were together without the kids.

PLEASE!!! think about the time you had not what you did hunny x x x

Answer 6

Is your husband's name David Putty? Did you have the roast beef?
Yes, you should be upset. Date night does not mean eat out, it means go on a date. A date can be a long walk, a movie, dinner out, anything you both enjoy doing together. I think you need to initiate the next date, and remind him what a date is supposed to be like.

Answer 7

yes i would be upset. it isn't because he decided on a cheap date, it is becasue he chose to have a date w/out spending time. A date night implies time to share a meal, have good conversations and laughter. Somehow a drive thru just doesn't conjure that in my mind. Talk with him--tell him you are hurt. We too have date nights and my husband and i generally take turns choosing a place and at minimum the time we spend together is 2 hrs.

Answer 8

Have a chat with your husband about "date night" and that going to Arby's does not constitute a "dinner."

Answer 9

Men arent always the brightest when it comes to treating a woman the way she wants. I think we as women put our hopes to high in men because movies and books make us think that men are something they really arent, and then we get our feelings more hurt fromthings like your Arbys situation. My hubby brought me breakfast in bed for the 1st time in 6 years. Oh how sweet~! Right? Nope, later when I was thanking him for doing something so nice he admitted to me that he only did it cause he was starving, and he didnt want to waste the rest of the food. They really are dummys

Answer 10

Yes! I would (and have been ) upset by this stunt but, take heart, next time YOU get to choose the venue and use his credit card. pick somewhere Not too posh but fancy enough and order what you like and make sure he pays for it! If he gets grumpy about it tell his not to worry as your mate has a friend who needs a female companion for a bussiness dinner and you've said you'll be please to go and your looking forward to being pampered for the evening and what does he think? Well we know that husbands don't like it but he may start treating you better!!!!! (mine did)

Answer 11

i would be just a little upset. i also get it from listening to other women the many "not so smart" things their sign. others do. i used to believe they didnt want to take the time etc. but now i truly believe that some guys just "dont get it" they are clueless as children and things must be explained to them in a very detailed manner before they do. how many times have i heard " well i thought that it would be okay" anyone watch tim the toolman, everybody loves raymond and a couple of those other shows....best advice i could give...."write it down"