I'm depressed... I just moved to my home state and it is hitting me hard.?

Question

I am w/ some1 who I don't love anymore, we have a 2 yr old daughter 2gether. We were living in CO and I had a really good career going 4 me there, but I decided I wanted 2 move back 2 my home state in IA 2 B closer 2 family due 2 all the fighting & problems I had w/ him. Well he came 2. So now I am in the same situation w/ him, I am unemployed and looking 4 a job, no luck yet, and I am unable 2 start dating cause he is living w/ me at my parents house.

He makes me feel fat & ugly. I know I am not, guys hit on me & alot of them tell me I am hot.

So what am I 2 do. I want 2 start meeting new people & I cant w/ him around. I want 2 B w/ some1 that I can take vacations w/ & make memories w/. I just want 2 B happy & I am not. I am getting more depressed everyday. I am wondering if I need 2 take antidepressants.

I know this was long & not alot of people probably care about another's relationship or life. But if you have some good advice - I'm all ears...

Thanks

We aren't legally married and he treats our daughter verbally badly alot of the times. That is my biggest problem with him, if he can't love our daughter, he can't love me.

I also want to state that whil ein CO, I tried to get him to leave many times, he wouldn't. He said he had no place else to go, he was basically using me to take care of him since I paid all the bills. He was making more than me and still did not help with anything, and I mean that, not even groceries. I think I still have feelings for him since we have a child, but I dont want to be used anymore, I want to be happy and in a 50/50 relationship. And I cant talk to him cause he wont listen or he'll get mad and turn it around on me.

Answer 1

You brought the problem with you, I think you should talk to him and tell him things just aren't working out, for him to leave. And since you are staying with your parents, maybe they can help you out till you get on your feet. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Tell him you would like to start seeing other people and do not feel comfortable letting him live at your parents house anymore. He will leave. Continue looking for a job and hopefully your parents are supportive of your desision and are willing to help babysit so you can start seeing other people. If you are really feeling down in the dumps, dont be afraid to talk to your doctor about getting on antidepressants. They saved my life and I am not ashamed to admit that. I am a single parent and thought I had hit a pretty rocky point in my life earlier this year but saved myself with the pills.

Answer 3

Madam...you're 30. I see that you worked in a great job and you're right. You had this great career going and you blew it. The second thing is whatever the hell were you thinking by dragging this dead weight across country with you. Plus...living with your parents? Jesus...what a mess.
You chose to have a kid with this jackass. You obviously brought him along right? Or did this guy just follow you and happen to end up in your parents house with you. Unemployed I may add.
I do have to laugh though. You seem much more concerned with your social life and guys who consider you "hot" than becoming a professional in your field and finding employment. Say nothing of bringing Mr. Deadbeat with you.
I don't know what the solution to your problem is. I do know that anti-depressants aren't the answer, thats for sure.
Your first step is to sh*tcan the mope who you allowed to come with you. Your next step is to see to it that proper care is set up for the 2 year old and then next trying to land a decent job. Forget about your social life for now. Although again...somehow this seems to me to be your number one priority over anything else.

So...good luck. Its a fine situation you've mired yourself in. All your doing too. Forgive my rather callous attitude but if you don't get your head on straight and start thinking analytically then you're doomed to stay in the situation you're in now for a long time.

Answer 4

I guess I'm not getting it. You left CO to get away from him but you let him come with you? You want to be rid of him but you live together in your parents house?

What is the real issue here? You don't know how to tell him to leave? You don't want to tell him to leave? You want him around but you want vacations and fun and friends on the side?

Decide what you really want. Fix it in your mind and then decide how to make it happen. You have your family and this guy both willing to support your choice. He moved from CO with you, so he is willing to make some accomodations for you. You just need to figure out what you want. That is usually the best place to start.

Answer 5

I'm sorry but that is crazy that your marriage is out the door and now you are trying to begin again and he is following you. You should have told him to stay in Co. How can you get on with life if he is near? That is your home and he should not be there. You know what you need to do. Don't waste anymore time letting him live with you. He treated you bad and tried to steal your joy and self esteem because of his insecurities. Dont let him have another day of your life!!!

Answer 6

Your situation is definitely tough, the problem is you are thinking about yourself only. If you would think more about your 2 year old daughter and her future, and her well being, I assure you things would be different.

The fighting between couples is not good but unfortunately is normal, my mother would tell me " if he is the fire, you should be the water to put out the fire.

Examine your inner-self, maybe you need to make some changes your self.

Call 1800drlaura. She will give you a better advice. AND IT'S FREE!.

Answer 7

properly, dont recommendations me quoting Joel Osteen, yet ,"in case you think of it wont take place, then it possibly wont." the single factor in difficulty-loose for persons who're the two sucessful or have got here upon love are one factor :postitivity. My dad replaced into lonely for an exceptionally long term after he and my mom divorced. 10 years of no dating. He replaced into depressed, gained weight, and gave up.....Then sooner or later he desperate he wasnt going to be unhappy any further and he have been given up and started using a motorbike to pass time, have been given a canines for companionship and because he started feeling greater efficient, somebody observed that and that they have got been married for over a year now and as chuffed as could be. Im particular there is somebody accessible,,,,and additionally, my grandma replaced into 40 while she had my dad and 40 3 while she had my uncle, and that they are the two relitively healthful adult males. You too could have the potential to get the guy accessible it is meant for you, you in basic terms must wait and see and useful. Negativity is so unnatractive. you appear to be an intellegent, beautiful man or woman. So tutor it!~ solid luck!!!!

Answer 8

feelings are normal and scary. Do what you must for your child and financial position in mind. You must share and raise your child together. Talking to a counselor is a good thing to learn to handle such stress. He does not have to live with you. Did your parents let him? Why don't you love him? I bet he loves you to stick with you like this. A relationship counselor can help advice both of you. Especially if he needs to let you go. Unless you can learn otherwise how to love him again. Make a pros and cons list. This is super therapy.

Answer 9

depression sucks huh. realize that all of our problems have an effect on us. it is up to you to do something with it. the trials that you are going through right now are enough to make anyone feel hopeless. you will become either a better, or a worse person after this, and it will be your choice as to which.
i suggest that you think of your daughter first and foremost. she is still too young to be affected by depression or anxiety, so you are lucky in that you have some time. you should consider her future. will having this daddy be good for her or bad? is he a good man? children need strong parents who will show them right from wrong, not immature assholes. you need to make a decision on this. i wish i could do more than tell you to keep your chin up... but life is full of **** that we have to walk through. you are not alone.

Answer 10

First figure out your elbow from your ars....before you can move onto another relationship you must truly disolve your previous one since you will most likely bringing a ton of baggage with you.

Now if ya wanna just get laid...knock yourself out and if I am ever in your state you can find me at the local Ramada willing to be a booty call!