My friend has a question............. I have 2 kids and my childrens dad and I are not together anymore. We both have moved on with our live and are somewhat friends. He is staying with his new baby's mother and I want my kids to stay with him more to give me time for myself. BUT he will not let me meet her. I have no problems with her, I just want to meet the person who will have some say on how things will be done while my children are over there. But he really don't want me to meet her. So should I let my kids go over there even though he refused to let me meet her? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-24 05:36:59 · 25 answers · asked by Mohogany Brown 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If your children are old enough to speak and tell you if there was something wrong, then I would think it would be ok to allow them to go there without meeting her. If they go there once, and spend time with her, she will no doubt he pushing him to meet you as well. It will only be a matter of time at that point. I would say just smile and allow it, it won't be long before you meet her.
2006-10-24 05:41:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to meet his new leading lady before sending your children over. You could always push the meeting by denying the children to go over, but you risk hurting the children and maybe going to court. At the same time, he just might cave in. That is one of your choices. The other is letting them go. I mean, you said that she is a new mother. Therefore, she would be getting the practice in early. Bad side, she doesnt have time to give to your children, and her rules and way of living are more than likely different than yours. In all honesty, What I would recommend, is A) ask the children what they want, as this is not about you, it is about them, and/or B) call when your ex is not home, and talk to her.
2006-10-24 05:44:09 · answer #2 · answered by checkers 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First.. what's the reason he's giving you as to why he doesn't want you to meet her? Have you spoken to this woman on the phone before while calling their place? is she o.k with you? maybe she's intimidated by you? Someone made an excellent point though.. "would you hire a babysitter you never met before?". These are your precious jewels, would you trust them with just anyone? I, personally, would NEVER let anyone who didn't want to meet with me watch over my children. Maybe she'll hold the same animosity over your children and do you really want to worry about them being mistreated should "Dad" step out for a moment? Not a chance worth taking. Good luck!
2006-10-24 05:43:54 · answer #3 · answered by darlene_tassone1971 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. They are your children too. You have the right, as their mother, to know any and all adults they will stay with. Maybe you should just take it upon yourself to go meet the woman, have a conversation with her about the kids (and ONLY the kids), and leave your ex out of it. This is about the kids, not you and him and her.
2006-10-24 05:39:57 · answer #4 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if you can legally refuse, what does your custody agreement say? I think you are right. I never leave my kids with anyone I don't know. He's being unreasonable not to let you meet her. Would he ever plan to leave the kids alone with her? If they live together I would think he would. You have the right to know who is watching your kids. On the other hand, they are his kids too and he does know her. Do you trust his judgment? Do you get along well enough with his mom or a sibling to ask them what they think about her. I would say don't let your kids go over there until you meet her, but you might want to check with your lawyer. If you have a custody agreement, you have to let him see his kids.
2006-10-24 05:44:38 · answer #5 · answered by kat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sat not unitl he gives in. There has to be some reason he wont let you meet here other than the fact you are his ex. Just say that you need some time to yourself, but you dont feel comfortable leaving your kids with a stranger. I think he would understand
2006-10-24 05:39:35 · answer #6 · answered by strawberrydaiquiri 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't. This is not you being spiteful, you're concerned about the welfare of your children. I would tell him that until he is willing to let you meet her that he will need to come see the kids at your house. You could also try inviting them to a 'family' dinner out somewhere so it's neutral ground. Good luck!
2006-10-24 05:43:53 · answer #7 · answered by Kelly S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What I am wondering is what is he hiding????? Why wouldn't he want you to meet her. That really makes no sense. He should be happy there are no hard feelings and that you are willing to get along with the new girlfriend. It will make it so much easier on the kids too. So again I wonder "what is he hiding"?
2006-10-24 05:49:21 · answer #8 · answered by eagfan5 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would find a way to arrange a meeting with her no matter how your ex feels about it. They are partly your children too, and you need to know what kind of person they will be around. If you know her address, send her a letter asking her to meet with you and that your ex doesnt want you to meet, but you want to be at ease with knowing her and how she sees you and the children. Good luck!
2006-10-24 05:41:39 · answer #9 · answered by val 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Nope. Those are your children and you have every right to make sure their environment and situation are healthy.
Truth? Sounds to me like he's making this difficult because either he doesn't want the kids there or his new woman doesn't. Get to the root of the problem before things get worse.
2006-10-24 05:42:11 · answer #10 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋