one minute he is all into me, touching, laughing, talking, etc. and the next he doesnt even know i am there. the only conversation we will have is when i start the conversation, and his answers are short to the point. his kisses will be just a peck. it will be like this for a couple of days, then he will start the touching, talking, laughing again. i hate when he acts like i am not there, and i have tried to talk to him about it. he states he has alot on his mind with our business. but, he will cut up with the fellas. is this just a "man" thing, or something else?
2006-10-24 05:35:11 · 21 answers · asked by aries 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Is your guy a Virgo? Mine is and he is the exact same way...he just wants some space, give it to him because if you dont you will be pushing him away.Then you wont have any of his attention...
2006-10-24 05:38:51 · answer #1 · answered by SexxiShorty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guys need down time, as do women. If he was all over you every day you'd start to shoo him away once in a while too.
If he was upset with you, or if the behaviors seems to lack a good cause, I'd be more worried, but for most people, home is supposed to be a place to 'get away' from things, to be 'off stage' for a while and just get some personal time.
In a marriage, the trick is to balance 'me' time with 'us' time. He cannot withdraw if you want some attention (and vice versa) without some sort of friction being generated.
I would have an open chat on a good day- no ambushing or adding it to another issue allowed. I'd tell him that it worries you when he closes off, and that you miss him at those times. You understand his need for some time like that though, and are want to see if you can find a way to better meet each others needs on those days.
Perhaps when he is having one of those days we can have a 'movie and dinner' night- he can work on the laptop while you share a couch and have a movie on. Maybe you can find ways to do two different things but be physically close (him reading the paper in the breakfast nook as you prepare dinner?)
2006-10-24 05:51:03 · answer #2 · answered by Madkins007 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Husband Is Hot And Cold
2017-01-16 14:36:57 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He either has a lot on his mind, as he said, or he has a personality disorder. The most telling thing that narcissists do is contradict themselves. They will do this virtually in the same sentence, without even stopping to take a breath. It can be trivial (e.g., about what they want for lunch) or it can be serious (e.g., about whether or not they love you). When you ask them which one they mean, they'll deny ever saying the first one, though it may literally have been only seconds since they said it -- really, how could you think they'd ever have said that? You need to have your head examined! They will contradict FACTS. They will lie to you about things that you did together. They will misquote you to yourself. If you disagree with them, they'll say you're lying, making stuff up, or are crazy.
You know him best, so it's your call.
2006-10-24 05:58:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd hate to say it but it sounds like it could be a man thing. We don't really like to express ourselves as much as you do but we will do it. Instead of asking him about things when you think it's a good time; try doing it when he kinda brings it up. I had a few things bothering me a couple of weeks ago but I didn't really want to talk about them (or so I thought). My fiance would ask me about them when we were in bed and it turn I would get upset cause she made me think about them and I would get turned off (although I never got mad at her; I just kinda ignored it all). Anyway, I would say a sentence or two throughout the week about what was on my mind and that's when she took the opportunity and ran with it. She got it out of me without me realizing it. Maybe you want to try that if he doesn't tell you when you ask him upfront.
2006-10-24 05:43:55 · answer #5 · answered by Jose M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how long you have been married so I'm guessing it's not very long. This is normal. Aren't you the same way? You have times when you want to be with him and flirtatious and then times when you would rather be with your girlfriends just having fun with them. Being married and having your own business does bring on alot of stress. Have you tried flirting with him? For a good solid marriage, he will need his male time with his friends and you do too with your friends. I wouldn't read too much into this problem. I think this is normal.
2006-10-24 06:10:10 · answer #6 · answered by robbin m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny thing, I'm a nurse. We were doing research about "PMS" in women, and the such. Well monthly, we all know that women's hormone levels change, and some react more sensitively to it than others. But like clock work, every month those hormones fluctuate and we feel it, and sometimes it shows to those closest to, or who are frequently around us right?
Well DID YOU KNOW that MENS hormone levels fluctuate DAILY? Ours are pretty constant, pretty stable, except during just before our time of the month, when our body is gonna dump out the old and grow some new uterine tissue (so to speak).
BUT MENS HORMONES LEVELS CHANGE AND FLUCTUATE DAILY. So........just look at it like DAILY PMS for him. "Pissy Man/Mood Syndrome".
=)
2006-10-24 06:16:08 · answer #7 · answered by lilac b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a man thing, men are intellectual for the most part, woman are emotional for the most part. You might be insecure about your relationship and feel the need for constant reenforcement. Men aren't even close to that. Don't expect that much attention from him, he might not be capable of it. he probably IS distracted with business stuff.
2006-10-24 05:45:35 · answer #8 · answered by Tom B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are hardwired to do what they have to in order to get sex. That means we will go against our normal behavior and actually talk to you and act affectionate when the need arises so to speak. Cutting up with the fellows is a way to deal with stress and pressure. Cuddling with the wife is the way to deal with an erection. You take it personally and that is not necessary. He sounds pretty normal to me. Of course he will respond to your touching him and affectionate behavior, but initiating it will only happen when he "needs" to follow normal human behavior.
2006-10-24 05:40:08 · answer #9 · answered by united9198 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long hv u been with him? If its a new relationship...give it time...some guys take a loong time to warm up. You can create situations at home so the process speeds up.
Find out what he likes and do those activities with him.
Cook his fav. meal.
and last but not least....quit complaining...takes a lot of patience, but will pay off multi fold.
Good luck :)
2006-10-24 05:38:06 · answer #10 · answered by san 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋