My father and Mother divorced before I was 2. After the divorce, I rarely saw my father. He moved away when I was 12-13 and I didnt see or hear from him until I was 21. He came to our town and someone saw him and told my brother he was in town. My brother had to search him out, and then he brought him to my house. I saw him for maybe 30 minutes. I never saw him again. I just recieved a phone call last thursday from a friend of his saying that he had leukemia and would be dying very soon. He would like for me to come and see him. Do you think it would be good for me to see him...or just another disappointment?
2006-10-24 05:20:09 · 24 answers · asked by conf 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's a last chance to settle whatever or say whatever needs to be said. I think you'll be sorry forever if you don't go. Don't you?
2006-10-24 05:23:05 · answer #1 · answered by wish I were 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He IS your father after all and you should go to see him. If he truly is dying, this may be the last chance for the both of you to see each other and maybe mend some broken bridges between you. I can guarantee that if you don't go to see him and he does die, you WILL hate yourself for the rest of your life. Even if he doesn't show that he was happy you are there, inside he really will be and you never know what can come of your seeing him. Take the risk. Even if he messes it up for you, at least you will be able to live with yourself for having put forth the effort and tried to do what was right.
2006-10-24 05:26:23 · answer #2 · answered by Captain Cupcake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go and see him because it could be your last chance to know him-You may not know him very well at this point and a chance for a close relationship is slim -but knowing that he cares enough to see you before he passes means he does care about you! I hope that before he moves on you can connect and even though he wasn't always there for you -you can show him that it hasn't been a leading factor in the way you treat others-you can be there for him and he will know that you are a good person. It may put his mind to rest to know you don't harbour any bad feelings. Best Wishes!
2006-10-24 05:26:19 · answer #3 · answered by laura_lovely_sweet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should see him. Be aware that you are probably in for a disappointment either way. Either he's going to screw it up for you and you wont see him again or you'll have a heart warming meeting and end up reconciling. But even then you'll still lose him to the cancer eventually. So, go to him but keep your heart guarded until you know whats going on and keep your mind open. The greater disappointment would be wondering the rest of your life if you missed out on your last chance on getting to know who your father was.
2006-10-24 05:23:36 · answer #4 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go see him anyway- because no matter what he is still your father. He may not have been there for you as much as you would've liked, but be the bigger and better person to not hold that grudge. Your father could've been going thru a lot too, everyone has their own side to the story.
But the bottom line is, you don't want to go on living your life thinking you could've at least been by your father's side at his dying moment, than have not been being there at all, and knowing about it.
2006-10-24 05:25:11 · answer #5 · answered by candy- capped 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To heal old wounds, you MUST go and see him. Let out all the frustration on him. He will understand and take it silently. That's all he can do. By now, he must have realised that true happiness already exists within one's self and if sought from the outside, it's always dissappointing. By coming to see you took him alot of courage in the presence of shame and regret. So you, too, my dear should go and see him.
But don't just spill anger, hatred and frustration alone. Tell him how much you missed him and love him.
2006-10-24 05:31:43 · answer #6 · answered by catcher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you still love your father? If so, go see him. You'll regret it if you don't. Parents are humans too. Sometimes they do stupid stuff, arent' supportive enouch, and tend to disappoint you more than you do them, but he's still your father and I'm sure that knowing, in the end, you still loved him enough to see would mean the world. He might have messed up with leaving you, but try to be bigger than that and do what he should have done. I hope he's doing okay. Good luck.
2006-10-24 05:25:29 · answer #7 · answered by dixieland delight 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW you have gotten alot of advice on this one! I wonder have you considered all of your experience with this man to help make your decision? You are the one that feels the emotions. If you go and its great, what a wonderful thing yall did! If you go and its bad but you got thru somethings in your life then you are better off! If you don't go you don't give yourself the opportunity for closure. What do you think you can live with? Do you want closure with him or live with questions and doubt? Just keep in mind that we don't have to walk thru the pain, you do. Good Luck in making you decision.
2006-10-24 05:37:00 · answer #8 · answered by DC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that's a ruff one, but if it was me i would go and let him know how i feel. And maybe hear his side of the story too. I know i wouldn't want any regrets and i think it would be a regret if i didn't go and at least make him here what i have to say, this time he not going anywhere!!!!
I hope this will help.
2006-10-24 05:28:09 · answer #9 · answered by crazyhagan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough question. If he wants to see you now and you don't go, you may end up regretting it. But if you have a lot of hostility toward him and don't think you could be nice then it may be better not to go. He probably regrets not getting to know you, this could be your only chance to say goodbye. I would probably go but only you can make that decision. You certainly don't owe him anything. Good luck.
2006-10-24 05:25:30 · answer #10 · answered by kat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with your heart! Just remember if you don't see him you'll have to live with that for the rest of your life, questioning your self if you should have seen him. And if you do see him, at least your mind will be clear that you did the right thing.
2006-10-24 05:25:01 · answer #11 · answered by adamsjeeps 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋