We are in the divorce process. I definitely want the divorce but had a few drunken episodes and we slept together. We decided that it can't happen again--that lasted all of 12 hours. Someone smack me!!
2006-10-24 05:14:46 · 18 answers · asked by PeAcHeS 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you are certain you want the divorce, don't have sex with him anymore. Start seeing other people. Having sex with him with only delay the healing that has to happen. I was in the same situation, ended up dropping the divorce case, and a year later (after we had moved back in together and everything), ended up filing for divorce again. It was a disaster. I wish someone had given me the advice to stay away from him altogether. It would have saved me a lot of time, money, and heartbreak. Best wishes to you!!!
2006-10-24 05:42:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's pretty common that most couples going through a divorce will have sex with their soon to be ex. There are a lot of reasons for this. There still may be a mutual physical attraction even if the emotional connection isn't there, in a lot of divorces the issues were way beyond sex and sex was probably one of the few things that was working in the marriage, and in some cases its just a mutual release of frustration of the freedom of having sex without obligations or complications.
As long as it doesn't interfere with the divorce, that one of you doesn't think that this is the start of a new phase and the divorce is off, or read more into it then just plain sex, then its fine... keep it up. Once the divorce is final though that has to be it, or if not things will be very, very complicated about the direction that things are going. For now though, let things just happen.
2006-10-24 05:28:59 · answer #2 · answered by DAN 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please don't berate yourself for this. You have no idea how very common this is - and for a very good reason. You have had a history with this man and it is sad (at least on some level) that it is ending. These last few intimate moments are a lot like kissing and saying good bye. It honors the love you did shared at one time, it thanks the universe for it, if shows the sorrow at the death of something lovely (no matter how necessary that death is).
You have reached the end of a part of your life and this is a very natural way of dealing with it. Many people seem to think this type of sex is especially good and satisfying. Enjoy it, but know that it will not last. It very often does stop once the divorce is final - or once you find out that he is dating someone else (try to end it before it gets hurtful - and if you can be the one that puts her foot down and puts a stop to it, so much the better for your self esteem in the long run).
Feel the strength in your decision to end this relationship. Feel the hope and expectation of your new life ahead. Cherish your past and say your good byes, knowing the new is always better for than the old. This is a very short phase in our lives.
Peace!
2006-10-24 05:35:24 · answer #3 · answered by carole 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to let go of the comfortable zone you end up in with a spouse. If you were together for a long period of time and you are splitting for reasons other that sex I think it is natural to want that intimacy with someone you already know you work well with. But if you keep hooking up like this and forget about what caused the divorce in the first place you are going to end up in a frustrating and painful cycle. Best advice find a good toy and have even safer sex by yourself!
2006-10-24 05:23:37 · answer #4 · answered by www.lindseysmith.pureromance.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't that uncommon for two people who have been together for so long to still have feelings for each other even though they know that being in a relationship together can never work. Give yourself a break, divorce is a hard process and some times you take a few steps back ward before you can really move forward.
2006-10-24 05:26:49 · answer #5 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might think that you are not tied emotionally and physically but you are wrong...
I don't know if you are feeling lonely or you had good sex together and aren't gettin it from anyone else.
Truly, you must take a good look at this behaviour and decide what is up.....
If you are not a good thing together, then proceed with the divorce and find another man to fill your needs..
2006-10-24 05:29:45 · answer #6 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you guys need to work things out before you get a divorce. You might not really want to be without each other and you just don't know it. You better talk it out before it's too late.
2006-10-24 05:21:18 · answer #7 · answered by SweetPea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you both love the sex but cant stand each other.Do the divorce thing and maybe you can stop the so called feeling of wanting just sex from him.Lets hope you or him dint have new people in your life's.If so just stay in touch on a only sex level
2006-10-24 06:28:23 · answer #8 · answered by stevens_monroe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...now that you don't have all of the strings attached to the relationship, it sounds like you and your "soon to be" ex have found some common ground. Enjoy it until you don't want to anymore and then move on...
2006-10-24 05:22:34 · answer #9 · answered by missapparition 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do some thinking if you really like the divorce.. if you are sure you need and like that divorce...then get a grip
2006-10-24 05:26:38 · answer #10 · answered by future_gurl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋