This is a serious question. My boyfriend is 24, but has only had sex with one person. It was a problem in that relationship too. He seems to have trouble maintaining an erection, and I think he is making it worse by worrying that he is dissapointing me, so I want to reassure him, but it is a problem for me. I want to have sex with him. Also, he is a cross-dresser. Not with me, only in private, and I know that doesn't make him gay, but combined with the other thing... is he gay? What's the problem? How can I help? Are there any men out there who have had, or have heard about, similar issues? Can you help me?
2006-10-24 05:07:37 · 22 answers · asked by Silence 1 in Health ➔ Men's Health
I don't care about the cross-dressing, I am not looking to "cure" it... It's just the other stuff that I am worried about. I love him.
2006-10-24 05:11:09 · update #1
This is a more commom problem than you'd imagine. First of all, don't blame yourself or him, neither of you are to blame or at fault here. I would guess that since you know about his cross dressing, you have a very open and honest relationship- which is so amazing these days!! Since this was a problem in your boyfriend's last relationship (with another girl?), it would appear that he has brought all of his anxieties into your current relationship with him. It's not because he doesn't want to sleep with you, it sounds like he might be an 'over analyzer'. The more he thinks and worries about the issue, the more he feels pressurized and can't erm....rise to the occasion. Since you have this open relationship, talk to him, bring the subject up in conversation when you feel comfortable to do so. Reassure your boyfriend, tell him how much you love him, let him know that your going to support him and not pressurize him. Which, if you do love him, I am sure you will do. Just be there for him, do what your heart tells you to do. And I am sure he is not gay, he is with you after all...
All the best babes, hope I've helped a little xxx
2006-10-24 05:16:45 · answer #1 · answered by moominjen 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you say he is having trouble maintaining an erection? so i am quessing he gets it up but cums quik? My b/f is the same way. One thing that should werk is to have him rub one off like an hour before. next he can do excersizes with it, like how women do keigles men can do it to, and it helps control the muscle making him less likely to be a premature ejaculator. Tell him to tigfhten his you unmentionable in reps every day 5times a day! Another would be for you to get some"toys" and play with yourself infront of him no im not just being disgusting im being serious) let him do it to you as well with a vibrator aand turn him on, longer foreplay on yourself means that even if he doesnt last very long you'll already be all hot and ready to ***.
as for the cross dressing I am totally not sure, he quite possibly could be curious not necissarily gay. Maybe you should try just honestly asking him aout his sexuality, i know easier said than done.Heres a good yet kinda mean way. If you have access to a seperate computer and the both of you have an aol im or yahoo im, you could pose as a male and talk dirty to him, if he responds you can deff. find out the truth! Anyway I hope this will help.
2006-10-24 06:20:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not a man but i can answer this question from experience with hubby..
My hubby has a thyroid problem and when he misses his medicine, or even before he knew he had a messed up thyroid an erection is out of the question..he might want to go to the doctors for this problem..
And I also know a lot of gay and lesbian people, if he cross dresses then he probably is gay and is afraid to let people know it.He might also have trouble being turned on by a women, that might be the reason for not being able to have a erection.
2006-10-24 05:23:52 · answer #3 · answered by bllnickie 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Erection difficulty is tough and it can come from many factors. Some people are hypersensitive to things like temperature or aural and olfactory distractions. Also sometimes things like extra stress at work or pressure to perform can be difficult. It could be your boyfriend has a blood flow problem, perhaps he is on a medication like those for high blood pressure that can interfere with blood flow.
Does he exercise much? Exercise can help strengthen your body in more ways than one. Regular cardio will help his endurance and increase his energy. I find sometimes that when my body is tired it is harder to get into sex, but the healthier you are the less you will feel exhausted at the end of the day.
It IS possible that he is dealing with psychological issues related to being gay etc, but that is for him to decide. I suggest both of you hit the gym a few times a week and eat less McDonalds and see what happens in a couple of months.
2006-10-24 05:19:01 · answer #4 · answered by QuestionWyrm 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Honestly, it sounds like he has some issues to sort out and not specifically because he is cross dressing but because it is in private only. Sexuality and sexual identity are too closely link for that not to be effecting your love life and his overall happiness as well. I would suggest you encourage him to talk to you or someone about the cross dressing and spend some time with him intimately initially without sex but just mutual stimulation. See how that goes at getting his confidence back.
Hope this helps.
2006-10-24 05:25:49 · answer #5 · answered by soxy190 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do some more research about what turns him on, maybe wear some raggedy cloths and let him tear them off. The cross dresser part I would be a little concerned about. I know a guy who is and got this girl pregnant and wants her to live with him while he entertains his cross dressing friends, also his brother is gay. You may want to move on.
2006-10-24 05:16:04 · answer #6 · answered by tom_nearhood 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
mmm i don't about the cross-dressing thing .. because that sounds really gay fro me.. I'm jay I'm 24 and bi sex, i hope i can help you with this.. i have a girlfriend she is just hot and perfect blond and i loved it, but i also like guys so when we first start it was kind of difficult for me to have sex with here evethough i have had sex with girls before sometimes not really successfully but still, and it was because i have my inclination for guys as well that's why sometimes i wouldn't get hard and i was so embarrassed but i tried and tried until i get it it's all up in the head now we have sex every Day think you should find out if he is gay or not i don't know how but find out...
2006-10-24 10:58:11 · answer #7 · answered by renzo s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks like you are trying to save the world. Keep this relationship simple. It sounds like he has some issue's that he needs to work out. I wouldn't say gay! However it all depends on what you are looking for and what you are willing to settle for. This is your life too! Don't set yourself up for the fall. Be happy with yourself first. I know your question is about him but that is not what I am feeling. Good Luck
2006-10-24 05:15:33 · answer #8 · answered by freesample1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've heard and what I think about this is; if he is dressing like that and won't have sex with you then I am sorry to say but evidence points to him being gay. But if he is not, which I hope he isn't for your sake, then I think telling him and reassumring him in the moment will help. Maybe he has never been with a girl as beautiful as you and gets scared. I hope that you have good luck with this and good things happen in the end.
2006-10-24 05:11:55 · answer #9 · answered by brandon_fargerson 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The thyroid is a butterfly-shaped gland that sits low on the front of the neck. Your thyroid lies below your Adam’s apple, along the front of the windpipe. The thyroid has two side lobes, connected by a bridge (isthmus) in the middle. When the thyroid is its normal size, you’re unlikely to be able to feel it.
All types of hyperthyroidism are due to overproduction of thyroid hormones, but the condition can develop in several ways.
Thyroid hormone production can be suppressed or halted completely in these ways: https://tr.im/gLIxf
2015-01-28 12:27:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋