is this normal. i have never really been into having sex because of the pain. also not always physically attracted to him. please help!!!
2006-10-24 04:45:06 · 21 answers · asked by what 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ditto poker fan, and I'm in the same situation with the responder. I would go to the doctor for the pain even if it doesn't save the marriage because of the physical attraction issues. I am not physically or sexually attracted to my partner of 4 years either. At one point I thought I was, but recently discovered that I was trying to be, but I'm not.
And to the other people who made comments on why she married him in the first place. That's only for her to deal with. People get married and stay married for various reasons which others might not agree with. It's not your business. She is asking if it's normal not to be sexually attracted to the husband.
2006-10-24 04:58:47 · answer #1 · answered by october g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first, sex shouldn't be painful unless you a virgin. If you are having pain, try using lubricants. Secondly, what is the point of doing it, if you aren't enjoying it. Sex is suppose to be pleasurable. If you weren't sexually attracted to him, why did you marry him? Unfortunately it matters. What about his physical appear isn't moving to you? Talk to him, let him know how you feel, so that you can work on it together. What you could do it try different things. If you are physically attracted to him, turn the lights out.
2006-10-24 04:51:58 · answer #2 · answered by T W 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Were you attracted to him when you married him? Join a yahoo group about marriage. You can find support from people who won't judge you. You sound like you want to work through this rather than ditch your husband, that is a good sign. Yuo really shouldn't have pain, did you know that? Tak to an ob/gyn about it. You can get a referral for physical therapy that will help you with that.
2006-10-24 04:50:42 · answer #3 · answered by Chloe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say no ,why did you marry him.love is the key and when you love someone the attraction physically and sexually should be there if not then did you marry him for comfort or money.however for the pain you need to see a OBGYN doctor and seek out counseling about sex
2006-10-24 04:50:33 · answer #4 · answered by Ethel T 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
sex shouldnt be painful and if it is painful for you you may want to check with your ob/gyn there could be some underlying health problems causing this....and if you arent physically attracted to him why were you silly enough to marry him? sex IS apart of marriage it always has been and always will be....what you are going thru isnt normal at all...you need to either find something attractive(and it dosent have to be physical) about your husband and focus on that....sometimes attraction comes from what cant be seen with the naked eye...have you considered that? and by the way nunyas answer is the biggest load of BS i ever heard in my life! its women like her who make some men not take their time in satisfying a woman because some women are stupid enough to lay there like a damn corpse!....what man would try to please that...dont listen to nunya she sounds sexually repressed or either retarded
2006-10-24 04:55:45 · answer #5 · answered by kimbersweet 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i went through a similiar situation the only thing that got me through it was to look at marriage from gods point of view "what god has yoked together let no man pull apart." god says divorce is not a sin if your mate cheat on you or abuse you or dont take care or has problems that will jeopardize the family like drug abuse and gambling etc. But once you sleep with him that means you forgave him and divorce is no longer an option in god's eyes. It hurts when you expect one thing and get another. you feel betrayed and you ought to. You need to talk to him when you are not angry or overl emotional and tell him how what he did hurt you. sit down and find ways to repair the damage in your relationship. He might be offended or defenseful the first few time you mention it. give him time he may feel so bad for betraying your trust. If he continues to do such act than you have to option to forget and forgive or move on with your life. i know if the tables were turn he would feel the same way if it was done behind your back. do not return evil for evil because what comes around and what a man reaps he must sow. if you return evil for evil you will be tangled up in the web also. do what is right that way he cant throw you wrongs in your face, he would have absolutely nothing to say knowing that he has nothing bad to say about you. continue to be honest and loving and play your part as being his wife. if you can not put up with it and he continues to lie and cheat behind you back well he does not deserve another chance. but leave him because you want to leave him not because you feel obligated to because of what others may have to do. make decisions you feel are right because life is too short to make decisions you will regret. you dont want to leave him and want him back that feeling alone will hurt you further. if you need a break take one, this will give you time to think. If he is doing wrong dont be in denial and dont make excuses it is nothing you have done wrong so there is nothing you can do to fix it alone. marriage is team work. Men are not perfect, they all come with flaws you have to pick out what flaws you are willing to deal with. it is going to be something, drugs, abuse, womanizer, cheater, lazy, disturbed by child hood, mental, work a holic, alcoholic, handicap, immature, not responsible etc. the more perfect they pretend to be the better of a liar they are. that is not just with men that can also be with women to. A man is real when you see all of his flaws and you still love him for it. When you meet a man and you feel like it is too good to be true research him and do your homework on him before you fall in love and/or say i do.
2016-03-28 06:06:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you guys together? Part of the relationship is physical attraction. You need that as well, not the main focus of course. Pain? as far as I know, that is the good kinda of pain. If he is overweight try to be sublte about it. mention exercise and so on.
2006-10-24 04:51:10 · answer #7 · answered by josh r 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It doesn't have to be painful.... Use a good jelly or other lubricant, and have hubby apply it. Close your eyes and enjoy the sensation. If he's doing it wrong, then help him out..... Sex should be one of the most physically enjoyable parts of a relationship.... Good luck, honey...
2006-10-24 04:52:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well my case is different (don't have the pain) but I am not sexually attracted to him either, so that is one of the main reasons we are separating...I wish I had something positive to tell you, but it doesn't sound like you want to end your marriage so you should really talk to your doctor about the pain...there are also some classes, etc. that you guys can take together to maybe learn new positions that won't hurt you...good luck
2006-10-24 04:49:18 · answer #9 · answered by poker_fan_in_nyc 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
THE PHYSICAL PAIN CAN BE PLAYING A BIG PART IN THIS. GET TO AN OBGYN AND FIND OUT WHAT'S CAUSING THE PAIN!!
2006-10-24 04:50:25 · answer #10 · answered by mamaexfour 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋