About three months ago I lied to my fiance about texting one of my friend's friend. I wanted to find out where people were going out etc. she was a girl. I didn't tell her because I was scared she would get mad. Now, she told me that i had to quit drinking, go to therapy, and take medication. I love this woman with all my heart. we been together for 1 1/2 years. I would do anything for her. I have gone to therapy, taken medication for adhd, quit drinking, quit going out. I don't talk to the "friends" i had when I was going out anymore. We have had some money troubles so i went out and got a second job. She has no job. I take care of everything. She now says, after all this hard work that I have done that she doesn't want to be with me. She wants to be friends, but she can not promise anything as to working it out. What sucks is I was making so much progress. She also said she doesn't want to have kids with me because i have 2 from previous and that it wont b special. What do I do?
2006-10-24 04:43:50 · 14 answers · asked by blahblahblah 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
all I want to say is..Sunji H,,,you are so wrong to even be on yahoo answers...no are no help to anyone.
I also want to say that she says she can't trust me. Which I accept and I am doing everything i can to rebuild that. She has all my passwords, access to every call on my cell (we are on a family plan), I know she loves me and that I have been good to her. and I also have hurt her..that is why i have done all this work. I just wish she would love me for who I have become...not my past...is there any way to fix it? I am in counseling, maybe if she came with, it would help.
2006-10-24 06:12:36 · update #1
Move on
2006-10-24 04:46:12 · answer #1 · answered by Barbie S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, congratulations on your progress. I know it was hard to even try and you did it. You must have really love her to change. Just keep it up because you've work too hard to revert back to the old you. My opinion is it's her lost. Someone will come along and notice you. Your single right now so enjoy it. Focus on your kids and your job. Set some goals and strive for them. The RIGHT woman is out there. Just be patient and in time everything will fall into place. Life is like that. Anyways, best of luck.
2006-10-24 11:58:03 · answer #2 · answered by jessica b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings but the truth is this woman was hoping you would not put in the effort to better yourself so that she had a good reason for breaking up with you and not look like the shrew that she obviously is. She was looking for an excuse and when you did not give her one she just said oh well better just get it over with. Please do not go back to the way you were it is obvious that you are happier with yourself as you are. Now that you are a better person you will find a woman that is truly worthy of you. SHE is NOT
2006-10-24 11:56:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first off, it sounds like she played you well. She wanted to see how far you would go for her and she how much of a "pushover" you were. Obviously she didnt like it that you would do all of that for her. Its a very rare thing to find someone that will change for you, she should have been grateful. My suggestion to you is to move on. I'm sorry it didn't work out the way you hoped, and I wish you luck in the future.
2006-10-24 11:51:14 · answer #4 · answered by val 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If two people's life path(s) don't merge and blend, then I do not see a relationship working. When path(s) go in different directions, separation is inevitable.
So....
Three easy words... let her go.
Harder words.... you will have to grieve the loss while working to sustain your progress, so that a better soul out there who, seeing your progress and value, will care for you honestly (even with the everyday mistakes we all make ), who will value the fact that you have kids, and will find their soulmate in you.
Good luck in the mean time.
2006-10-24 11:50:37 · answer #5 · answered by HeartSpeaker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You gave up everything - THAT'S A BIG MISTAKE.
When people are attracted to each other its not just the person, but also the life they live. They want to be apart of that other person's life. When you gave up everything you gave up part of what she was attracted to. She wants a man and when you did everything she wanted you stopped being a man and became a toy she could play with or toss at a whim.
Live and learn. Get a life and keep it. Find someone that you want to be a part of her life and that wants to be apart of yours. Be yourself and more NOT less.
2006-10-24 12:13:21 · answer #6 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she finally realized that no one can make you happy but yourself. She had been trying to "fix" you when she needed to be working on her own issues.
I would suggest that if you feel that you have made progress in your life, keep up with the things you have been doing and if she decides to come back it will be better for you both.
But it almost sounds as if you need self-identification. Its like you don't know who you are if she isn't there.
I would suggest counseling and give her the space she says she needs.
2006-10-24 11:57:52 · answer #7 · answered by goldenlifev 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As hard as this may have to be for you to deal with. You need to let her go. Sometimes there are no second chances. Maybe she felt you were not the right person for her right now. You must respect that choice. Continue working hard for yourself and not for someone else. That was your first mistake. So focus on yourself now and move on.
2006-10-24 11:53:39 · answer #8 · answered by Sinster22 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please move on.....In my mind someone that asks you to do all of that and doesn't help you or that puts you through all of that is worth it to a point. I think that you need to think about yourself now and think about what is best for you. Now with your kids from a previous relationship is something that you did in the past and when she agreed to be with you she had to agree to be with ALL of you. People can't choose the parts of people that they can accept or not accept. If someone is trying to do that then they are not worth it and there will be problems in that relationship.
2006-10-24 12:08:11 · answer #9 · answered by ramie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep up the good progress! Maybe she was meant to be there for you to help you get on a good path in life and it's good you should love her for that. Now you deserve someone who will love you for how great you are!
She doesnt deserve you.
2006-10-24 11:51:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋