Question about my Husband?

Question

Hello, this is my first time on this site and I am looking for some points of view on my Husband. I have many questions and this is the first.

Do men take such interest in there wife’s appearance as mine does?

I am a very shy person and for the most part when we started dating him not only did I not really have any fashion sense but enjoyed the fact that my boyfriend would by me gifts of clothing and shoes. The years have gone by and this is getting a little old.
This is what he does; please tell if other men do the same:
1. I must wear high heels in public. (Buys all my shoes always 4" high. He calls anything shorter 'trainers')
2. I must wear beige or nude nylons at home and out. (He does like socks)
4. He byes all my panties and nylons. (Always g-string!!!)
5. He picks out my lipstick & eyeliner for me.
6. He is always considered on how my makeup looks
7. He picks and byes my hair color.
8. Pays for my nails every month.
Don’t get me wrong I love him!

Answer 1

Well there could be TONS of different things going on here.

1 Your husband might LOVE you and like doing things for you and buying things for you
2. Your husband might just LOVE looking at you when you are, in his opinion, "all dolled up"
3. Your husband might just be a little into DOM/SUB and get turned on when "he dresses you up".
4. Your husband might just want to dress that way himself but allows his desires to be suppressed by society and so he does the next best thing and dresses you like he would like to dress.
5. Your husband could be a control freak who considers you as nothing more than another object he "owns" and he feels he needs to determine how you look so that he gets an ego boots when someone admires his "thing", like he might if someone said, "wow that's a hot looking car", or "I just love your watch".

One of the greatest thing about this life, and something that unfortunately most people never realize, is that we get to CHOOSE what our reality is. You get to DECIDE if the reason your hubby does all that stuff for you is number 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5 or any other REASON you want to come up with. Hey, it could be A LOT worse, your husband COULD be paying you no attention at all.

Why not make the decision that you are going to look at his actions in a positive light. He loves the person you are inside, and there are certain ways some women dress and certain ways that some women wear make up that he finds attracts him more or turns him on more, and he is so involved in the way you LOOK because he wants to be MORE attracted to you than to any other woman. Hey and if he's still buying you g-strings that's a good sign. I'd worry more if he were buying you granny bloomers instead.

Be happy that your spouse spends so much of his time/energy/money on you and with you instead of apart from you.

Answer 2

No, Sweetie, this is not normal. You husband is controlling even the smallest parts of your life. You don't have your own identity, only the one that your husband has "created" for you by "dressing you up" as the woman that he wants you to be.

When I was growing up, my parents had some good friends who we visited often. The husband treated the wife in much this same manner...it started out like you described, controlling what she wore, how she did her make-up and hair, and eventually it evolved into a relationship where she was not even allowed to go to the grocery store alone...she had a nervous breakdown about nine years ago, got some therapy and then ended up divorcing him.

I'm not saying that you and your man are headed for a break-up, but I do think that it will put a strain on your relationship if you don't try to pull away a little and create your own identity...Good Luck!

Answer 3

You need to learn how to stand up for yourself. As a woman who is getting married this summer, if my fiancee ever tried to dictate what I wore and how I wore it, beleive me, he would be a hurting unit. You need to find your own sense of style. Take a friend or family member shopping and find your own comfort zone when it comes to clothing. As for heels-I'm an even 5'0" and don't own that many heels. Getting your nails done is nice but even dictating your underwear?? I understand you love him, afterall he is your husband and you married him for a reason, but you need to be able to just veg out once in a while on the couch in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt with the most comfy pair of socks you find! If he doesn't get this, then go out and buy him new clothes YOU like, uncomfortable shoes for him, and tell him this is the way you want HIM to look from now on. And while you're at it buy him a lot of thongs and g-strings and let him deal with a perm-a-wedge for a couple of days! If this doesn't change his outlook, maybe a marriage counselor will enlighten him on why this is wrong.

Answer 4

I think its important to look at what store the receipt is from as well as what was purchased. It could give you clues as to whether he was skipping work to do something he shouldnt have been doing. If its something common, like groceries, maybe the time was wrong. Try and think back to when he purchased the item on the receipt. Perhaps its from a supply store and he had to pick something up for his office? If that doesnt help, I would call, or go to the store, and ask the cashiers if the time is usually right and i would enquire about the item that was purchased on the receipt. Once again, if its something minute, I wouldnt worry about. But obviously if its something that he shouldnt have been buying then you should certainly bring it up.

Answer 5

It sounds pretty shallow to me, dear. If, heaven forbid, you got into a disfiguring accident and were no longer able to stand or some such thing- what would he do? Run for the hills? You're a grown woman and there is no reason why you can't pick out and purchase your own shoes, underware, make-up and hair color. Assert yourself and stop letting him treat you like his blow-up doll.

Answer 6

He's very obsessive, now it's a blessing to get someone who buys things to you, but what will happen if you didn't feel like wearing heel out in public any more would he loose it? what if you wanted to were a different style of panties for a few weeks? to be brutally honest, your husband has controlling issues, and he needs help now, I can't stress that enough, the problem will only get weirder over time

Answer 7

your husband sounds like a major control freak...gifts of clothes and things are natural between a husband and wife and even an occassional suggestion of what the other should wear...i do this to my husband at times and he does it to me...but the way your husband is doing it sounds like he thinks of you as some trophy he can show off and that he wants total control on every move you make...what anyone says to you here in the form of an answer wont mean a thing in the end what matters is if YOU are satisfied living like this if not then by all means speak up and say you are not a child and you can dress yourself...but one thing i have learned with men is this...you have to start out with them the way you can hold out with them because once they get into a routine its hell to change them...i started helping my husband cut his toenails and dammit five years later i am still doing it...but i can live with my situation...can you?

Answer 8

Gosh lady, this is about my first time on the answer thing also. I promise that I will be totally honest with you, OK
I have been married twice and I have never had a lady who would let me do such things for them. I found out real quick that I could not buy clothes that fit right or clothes that they liked. I go shopping now and just be there to look at what they like and pay the bill. I believe in letting a person have their own self expression and dressing the way they want to. I like the surprise of seeing someone look different at times. It would not be any fun for me to know everything. I have seen some men like this, I know one personally, and I don't like the way he treats or looks at his wife. He has some sort of hang up that is sexually oriented. I not saying that your husband is that way though. However let me point out some things and you can decide for yourself. When it comes to your sexuality, do you feel suppressed or free. In other words, does he or has he, helped you discover your sexuality, and has he helped you develop it to its fullest.
I'm sorry if this sounds to personal, and I understand if you don't want to talk about it. We don't know each other and thats just fine for me, however if you want to talk further you can email me at [e-mail] my name is Gerald and I have a lot of experience in life. I do wish you sucess and happiness. LOL

Answer 9

Whoa honey...this guy sounds very controlling. Is this all that he's controlling in your life? If it is perhaps he has a closet fetish. Talk to him about it...have you ever asked him why he does this? The best way to go about it is to tell him you appreciate him helping you look your best but ask him if he feels he has to do this for you.
Open the lines of communication, if he doesn't want to talk about it and he is controlling with other aspects of your life than maybe you have a larger problem to deal with.

Answer 10

You are really a sad person. You chose a guy like this? Normal men do not do these things because they do not really care about these things. These are serious red flags yet you ignored them. Now, that this has become "old" you are begining to wonder. How could you have possibly missed this when you were dating this freak?