My husband is disabled and cannot work at all. He constantly buys items he claims are good deals on ebay & other websites with his credit card. I have begged him to stop, as we cannot afford it. He refuses and says I should mind my own business. He has managed to pay the minimum payment each month by selling a few of his purchases...just enough to get him by until next month. I am at my wits end. He now owes close to $20k. What do I do?
2006-10-24 03:45:03 · 16 answers · asked by Buddy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Cancel the credit cards and get counseling for debt management.
2006-10-24 03:54:26 · answer #1 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing I have learned after 22 years of marriage, is that you can't make a person do anything that he doesn't want to do. Since he clearly doesn't care about your opinion, you must protect yourself. 1.Take charge of your family's finances 2. Save as much money as you can as an emergency fund even if you can only save $20.00 a month. 3. Squeeze every dollar you can by budgeting very tightly and on just the basics first (food, shelter, utilities, transportation). Nothing else gets paid until these are taken care of first. Then with the rest of the bills, priortize based on your situation. Make sure that your name is not on the credit card or even listed as a authorized user. Find out what would happen if he should pass on with this debt from people other than the credit card company.
2006-10-24 04:15:44 · answer #2 · answered by mahidibal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all his business is your business also, so he has no right to say that. What happens if GOD FORBID he pass away? That 20k debt will be left with you to pay, and I don't think that you want that kind of burden. I advise you to cut up everyone of those credit card. You shouldn't have to beg him to stop, especially if your are bringing home the income. It will help if sold everything he bought with that credit card to help relieve that debt. Don't take any bulls h i t.
2006-10-24 04:04:28 · answer #3 · answered by jessica b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has to stop, otherwise you will be in terrible debt. Then what you gonna do? he can't work, just wants to spend. You should mind your own business? Sell computer, talk to bank manager, tell your husband to wake up and take some responsibilities, cut the credit card. He can't do this to you.
2006-10-24 03:49:34 · answer #4 · answered by Ingrid 7 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and be honest with him that you can't afford for him to keep buying stuff and you have to get your debt down.
Go to a credit counselling place and try to get help with pay-off and/or budgeting.
Unplug the computer so he doesn't have access to e-bay.
Can he find something to do besides surf e-bay? Is he totally disabled that he can't get out at all? He might not be able to work full-time but might he be able to work part-time or even volunteer some time somewhere to keep him occupied.
2006-10-24 03:49:21 · answer #5 · answered by parsonsel 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sense your married and credit that either of you make, can also look bad on you, take the cards when he's asleep and cut them up. IF you have to, ditch the internet!
He's not only hurting his credit, it's hurting yours.
Even if your name isn't on the cards, it is your business!
IF you see no other way, get a divorce, so his debt is HIS, not yours.
2006-10-24 03:50:31 · answer #6 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off if you pay the "main" bills and he doesn't pay for anything as far as for the house, then let him get in debt and swim and drownd.. Thats the only thing you can do. Let him realize what he's doing to himself and let him file bankrupcy. But the buying stuff is probably his comfort zone. You've tried and tried. Time to let it go.. And if he cant help you pay the bills, pay the main ones and the extras get cut off, he'll see what really matters then when he doesn't have cable to watch and the internet service to play with.
2006-10-24 03:56:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to cut up his credit cards and he needs to go to counseling. Shopping like he does is an addiction and without help he will get even worse, he can't stop himself. Another solution is to phone the credit card companies and report his credit cards as lost, they will cancel his credit cards Also notify Bill Me Later and tell them that he is insolvent.
2006-10-24 03:54:32 · answer #8 · answered by mimi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the card and cut it up- you're married so it is your business. You are responsible for your husbands debt. He is not only ruining his credit but he is ruining yours. How dare he say mind your business. I would say tell em to quit or your leaving which is exactly what i would do. tell him to find another hobby.
2006-10-24 04:00:49 · answer #9 · answered by Jazz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of two things. You can divorce him and make sure the divorce decree puts all debt on his side of the equation. Or; you can file a Chapter 7 bankruptcy and burn his credit card.
2006-10-24 05:10:03 · answer #10 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋