At first it was rocky but once all the mistakes were on the table everything got wonderful, but here lately every time we have a disagreement she throughs the past in my face. I gave up all my old friends to stay in this relationship but God forbid one should call on the phone wwIII starts. Is this fair to me? Will she ever forgive me for my wrongs? Am I doomed to bebeat over the head for my past for the rest of my life? Confused!!!!
2006-10-24 03:28:39 · 15 answers · asked by Steve A 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She has not forgiven you, I think you both have tried to make the relationship work but it's not, both of you need to move on with your lives.
Unfortunately, some lessons are learned at the expense of our current lover but the benefits are reaped by the next lover.
2006-10-24 03:44:27 · answer #1 · answered by Bubbles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my relationship. It has been 5 years and the first 4 were like you said. The past is over and if it is brought up again and again it obviously isn't ok, so talk about the mistakes blah blah and if you can't get through to her that it's the past and you want to move forward with HER and better your lives then yes move on you will be doomed.
You can't be in a relationship with a person who can't forgive you for faults, it will be misery, everywhere you turn. She doesn't have to forget but if she loves you she will forgive you and move on and better your relationship. Love isn't about who is right or wrong it's about working through things and seeing if you are still strong after the storm.... Hey if it helps I have really made some HUGE mistakes with my husband in the beginning and he has let it all go and our relationship now is the best it's been even compared to the beginning.
2006-10-24 03:42:55 · answer #2 · answered by momma whitley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, at least you "admit" to have done the wrong in the past.
Most women, can seem to forgive, but trust me, they don't forget.
It will take alot of hard work on your part, so show this girl that you made a change and can be trusted.
IF loseing your old friends was the choice you made to keep the relationship, then you must really love her.
You both should make the next step and find a good counselor.
It might help, but surely won't hurt.
2006-10-24 03:46:44 · answer #3 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend and I are going through that right now! We have made so many past mistakes and our arguments have become pointing finger matches. My suggestion is that you tell her that if she cannot leave the past in the past, you can't promise to continue dealing with that because you will find yourself living in the past. You two will never be able to move forward in a healthy way, that way. Also, you need to handle the phone calls. As a woman in her shoes, it is totally inappropriate, old or new for women to be calling my man on the phone. You wouldn't want other men calling your woman, would you?? And especially not if she was your wife. Think about that. Check those women at the door. Tell them you have to be friends from a distance, no disrespect to them, just respecting your relationship.
2006-10-24 03:45:12 · answer #4 · answered by Booda39 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me this boy didn't know what he wanted, and had to have his family push him to be the person he is today. If he Truly loved the first girl he would not have been pressured into marrying some one else but would have sat and talked with the woman of his dreams. The fact that he made no attempt to have any type of physical contact with girl one tells me he lacked interest in her as a mate. The girl now knows that he was really not the guy for her, the main fact of her not liking his lack of ambition. held her off from getting married. Once again it is proven that your gut tells you more than your heart what is right for you. She knew deep down that this guy was not for her, although they might have had a friendship, nothing more would ever come of this. He has moved on and she should be happy to know she missed the bullet and will be able to find a man, not a boy that will meet her challenge of being ambitious. loving and want to make her happy. I also think that maybe he was sleeping with someone else, and if not, what a dud.
2016-05-22 06:44:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well,what did you do in the past so bad that she cant get over it?? - explain this to yourself instead of her.
Are you annoyed or sorry everytime she brings up the past??
Have you asked for forgiveness??
Were your old friends your bad influence??
(No baddy to leave the baddies behind ;> )
The big question is - have you actually made it up to her ??
If you can answer those questions without a second thought
then yea,the relationship is still worth trying / a chance.
Good luck!
2006-10-24 03:51:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Steve, it IS unfair. You have made sacrifices and put in your effort for this relationship so it s only right that she stops with the blast form the past.
You need to sit down and talk to her and tell her exactly how you feel. Make a deal that some things never will be mentioned as they have no connection to your present and future.
2006-10-24 03:41:45 · answer #7 · answered by freshlimesoda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take some control over the situation. Dont give up your life for her because you will hold some resentment towards her for giving everything up. Make her understand that the past is the past, you cant change that.
2006-10-24 03:49:48 · answer #8 · answered by Kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to let the past go or you are gone. Do you think it will get any better if you stay with her and get married somewhere down the road? Nip it in the bud, my friend.
2006-10-24 03:34:05 · answer #9 · answered by bunya00 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
UNFAIR. The past needs to stay in the past. If she can't let it go and take you for what you are to her NOW, she'll always carry that unforgivness in her heart.
2006-10-24 04:00:15 · answer #10 · answered by misskenjr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋