my husband quit drinking too?

Question

I never asked my husband to quit drinking. He did it on his own after our 9 year old son told the kids in the dressing room that his father is an alcoholic. He is not an alcoholic. My problem is for 17 years I have been in love with "Dave" the drinker. Now I find he is boring and he never, and I mean never wants to do anything. I am bored .... very bored. My husband is moody and hardly even talks to me any more. I feel like I dont even know him anymore. When he looks at me all I can see is hatred in his eyes.....what am I to do, I never asked him to quit. We have been married for 12 years this November ...... any advice.

Answer 1

go see a therapist

Answer 2

Hi, my relationship with my husband has been 5 years and 4 of those years were us drinking, I have stopped dec 19 almost a year!! He still drinks, just a few. I know that he sees me differently, I am not the same person but he loves it that I don't drink anymore. For your husband it could be depression. Look into it for yourself and see what you think. Men just don't communicate like we want them to. It's a huge life change when a person stops drinking because everything changes. Now my life is about my family, they are first. You and your husband need to do something special for your marriage. Surprise him with a dinner, nothing sassy just comfortable and maybe the spark might fly. Talk about some memories together, the kids, that's an easy one. Your marriage doesn't have to be over, 12 years is a long time, he is just trying to deal and he doesn't know anything else besides drinking so it's up to you to bring him out of this so it doesn't get worse. Good luck

Answer 3

Well, your child was obviously hurt by his actions and if you are a drinker too, he may have an opinion about that too. But, think about this, what do you have to lose if you stop drinking? Nothing. Life doesn't revolve around drinking and you may be able to learn new things about each other by enjoying each other while NOT "impaired". It can only be a positive thing here. I can understand the shift in attitude. You two no longer have the same outlook on what you both shared at some point. I would give it a go and get rid of the bottle. Even if just for your child's sake. You don't want your husband AND your child looking at you judgementally, so why not beat them to the punch?

Answer 4

Its all got to do with your mind. If you look at a man in a certain way, then they will appear that way. Most people say that Jim Carrey in movies is interesting but two my friends think he is boring cause they just look at them that way.

If you think a man is good and he does something bad, then it will be, "the good man did a bad thing". But if you think a man is bad and he does something good, then it will be, "the bad man did a good thing".

There is a huge difference between, "the good man doing a bad thing" and "the bad man doing a good thing".

So think of your husband in a postive way. Let me ask you, how did you find your husband not boring for11 years and suddenly find him boring now. Its cause you are thinking differently.

Just tell him that you don't mind him drinking. He may think that you were the one who told your son that he is an alcoholic. Talk to him and explain everything.

Also he maybe going through problems and that is why he drank in the first place and now that he doesn't drink, he can't cope with it. Cause some people drink to forget about worries. And you know something about men, men don't talk out their emotions unlike women. You should get to know what his problems are.

Good luck and hope he changes and you two live happily.

Answer 5

How about talking to your husband about the reason he stopped. 'Cause you assume he blames you for stopping. And why does he need alcohol before he wants to do something that's fun. Nothing prevents you from making suggestions. It will probably only do you good if you two go to see a counsellor. Before things get worse and you end up divorced. And, no, alcohol is not supposed to keep your marriage together. The two of you are. Marriage always takes a lot of work, but it's worth it. Good luck.

Answer 6

hi, my dating with my husband has been 5 years and four of those years have been us ingesting, I even have stopped dec 19 almost a year!! He nevertheless beverages, in basic terms some. i understand that he sees me in yet differently, i'm no longer the comparable man or woman yet he loves it that i do no longer drink anymore. on your husband it must be melancholy. seem into it for your self and see what you think of. adult males do exactly no longer talk like we want them to. it is a great existence replace while a man or woman stops ingesting via fact each thing variations. Now my existence is approximately my relatives, they're first. You and your husband could desire to do some thing particular on your marriage. marvel him with a dinner, no longer something sassy in basic terms gentle and probably the spark could fly. communicate approximately some recommendations jointly, the youngsters, it is an consumer-friendly one. Your marriage would not could desire to be over, 12 years is an prolonged time, he's in basic terms attempting to deal and he would not understand something besides ingesting so it is as much as you to hold him out of this so it would not worsen. solid luck

Answer 7

Many people use alcohol to "self-medicate" when they are going through a depression or anxiety problem. If the person quits drinking but does not examine the root of his mood problem, then he may turn into a grumpy, moody, depressed, angry, indifernent individual. So, your husband needs to visit a therapist for his sake and his family.

Answer 8

If you really love your husband try to understand what he is going through. Not everyone who stops drinking experiences withdrawal symptoms, but most people who have been drinking for a long period of time, or drinking frequently, or drink heavily when they do drink, will experience some form of withdrawal symptoms if they stop drinking suddenly.

There is no way to predict how any individual will respond to quitting. If you plan to stop drinking and you have been drinking for years, or if you drink heavily when you do drink, or even if you drink moderately but frequently, you should consult a medical professional before going "cold turkey".

Withdrawal Symptoms:


Mild to moderate psychological symptoms:

Feeling of jumpiness or nervousness
Feeling of shakiness
Anxiety
Irritability or easily excited
Emotional volatility, rapid emotional changes
Depression
Fatigue
Difficulty with thinking clearly
Bad dreams


Mild to moderate physical symptoms:

Headache - general, pulsating
Sweating, especially the palms of the hands or the face
Nausea
Vomiting
Loss of appetite
Insomnia, sleeping difficulty
Paleness
Rapid heart rate (palpitations)
Eyes, pupils different size (enlarged, dilated pupils)
Skin, clammy
Abnormal movements
Tremor of the hands
Involuntary, abnormal movements of the eyelids


Severe symptoms:

A state of confusion and hallucinations (visual) -- known as delirium tremens
Agitation
Fever
Convulsions
"Black outs" -- when the person forgets what happened during the drinking episode
Source: National Institutes of Health

Answer 9

Do you drink? If so how much? Do you get drunk and wish he would get drunk with you? If you still drink and he does not, then he might want you to follow the lead. You guys should check out AA together. It might bring you closer than ever before. At the very least bring you both to and understanding of each other. In his sobriety he might see something that you don't. talk about it and don't let it ruin your marriage. Btw just because you didn't ask him to stop drinking doesn't mean that HE feels he shouldn't of. It is a personal choice, to drink or not to drink. good luck

Answer 10

He may feel diapointed in himself and you and your son are the ones that he loves most so he's taking it all out on you it seems. I would quit drinking also if I heard my son say that, but he was probably just saying that for attention THE WRONG KIND OF ATTENTION. Know your husband may feel uneasy all the time because that is what comforted him.?? Just a guess!!

Answer 11

You need marriage counseling. See your local clergyman for a recommendation because there are some that are more supportive of keeping a marriage together than others. I pray that you will each fall in love with each other like you did at the start.