second thoughts?

Question

i just got married and i am already having thoughts of leaving him for my ex!! what to do? would a baby help things out?

Answer 1

A baby only adds more problems to the mix. Do you remember what made your ex an ex? There were problems there and they just don't go away. Try working with your new husband. Talk to him, pamper him, have him pamper you. Work out your new marriage. Leave the past in the past.

Answer 2

Thinking that a baby will help is just plain stupid! No it will not help so many women think that a baby is the answer to their relationship problems and all that does is cause more problems, mark my words, I can not count the women I have known that thought the same thing, guess what every one of them are divorced, single, rasing a child on their own and have financial problems so bad that they can't even see tomorrow... Do NOT have a child! Get your head on staright, look within and find your true self. Having second thoughts are normal when you first get married but you deal with it and get over those feelings and just be happy with the choice you made. Thinking of your ex well again that's just palin stupid, you have forgot why he is an ex to beging with and need to remember - and you have made a committment to your husband and you took some pretty strong vows that you think nothing of... Take responsibility for your actions! and don't be a quitter! You started this but why just to hurt others? What were the reason you married this guy you forgot those as well.

Let me turn things around here for a minute you are not stupid you have too much time on your hands and maybe you are having some hormonal problems you need to talk to a conselor b/c you are having a lot of mixed feelings and if you do not get a handle on them now you are going to be having worse problems later in your marriage. The thing about your ex well can I ask why can't you be happy with what you have now and make the best of it and if you are feeeling this way, do you know your husband is sensing it and wondering what is wrong with you!? and wondering what he did!? You are just being so wrong and unfair to him right now and only you can change it, maybe you should drop the attitude and stop acting like a spoiled child yourself before consideraing anything else and above all beofore you bring a child into your already mixed up world! Good luck hope you find yourself soon! It really doesn't need to be this hard you are the one causing the hardship and the mixed feelings - end them now before you make bigger mistakes - find your common sence.

Answer 3

you just got married and you already have second thought? why did you marry him in the first place? and no a baby would make things harder, I suggest you talk to your husband, and about your feelings on things, because this is the most selfish thing you can do to a person. after spending all that money on a wedding, and took your vows, you're having second thoughts? So you only married your husband for the dress, and wedding and the honeymoon, you didn't even care or love him at all.

and by having a baby, you'll just use the baby as an excuse for not leaving your husband, and even if you have a baby, once the baby's 18, you'll be divorced, if you were to stay for the kid. so I say to save the hassle, and talk to your husband. i feel sorry for your husband for marrying a woman like you.

Answer 4

No, a baby is the worst possible thing to consider. You wouldn't be having a child because you wanted one, just to have it act as some kind of weird magical glue to hold your marriage together.

Your ex is an ex for a reason.

You need to get some counseling immediately to find out why you married to begin with, why you're having second thoughts and how to best deal with this situation in a way that makes sense.

Don't waste any time. It's not fair to your husband to have this bombshell dropped on him when even you don't understand why you feel this way.

Answer 5

Definitely don't have a baby to try and mend things. That could seriously be a big mistake if you are not sure about your relationship. Your ex is your ex for a reason, right? Leave your ex in the past and move on. Your husband must mean a great deal to you or wouldn't have married him. I say work on your relationship with your husband and then consider having that baby.

Answer 6

Marriage is for better or for worse, stay away from your ex. You got married so obviously you love this person, please don't ruin it with your new husband.. A baby should be conceived through love and when the timing is right between the two of you. A baby should not be used to keep your partner or to stay in a relationship. He also has to have a say of when to bring a baby into this world also.

Answer 7

since you're married, you SHOULD NOT be thinking of leaving your hubby for your ex. that's not right! make sure you think properly before any action is taken. normally the slightest action of yours can hurt someone badly and having a kid doesn't mean things can be resolved so easily. sometimes a kid doesn't really bring bonding for the parents closer, it can be a problem too. for example, you're thinking of leaving your hubby and that means you may not like your husband much and having a baby can just arise more problems in between your marriage. when you really decide to leave your spouse, what's going to happen to your kid? do you want your kid to be without a mum and grow under a different growing up environment? and your spouse will be all alone taking care of your unwanted burden while you get to live off with your loved one? lets put it a little better off for you, you'll be bringing your kid along with you together with your new spouse/partner, how long can he take care of you and your child? and does he really not mind taking care of your kid? think about it and don't do anything that could make you regret forever. anyway the ultimate choice is yours, my advice is if you want to leave, you may go ahead with it but don't bring a kid to the world and let him suffer. take care!

Answer 8

Since when did bringing a baby into the world help a relationship? If your idea of helping your relationship includes, hormonal changes the likes of which you have not experienced before, body changes - including weight gain, inability to control your bladder, constant nausea, swollen feet. Then the baby comes and you never sleep again.

Babies do not make a bad relationship good. BAD IDEA.

If you are unhappy w/your marriage read your vows again. What did you promise to your husband and are you keeping up your end of the bargain? Every time I get in a funk w/my husband I read my vows to him and remember why I decided to get married to him.

Answer 9

my goodness, if you just gor married and now want to be with someone else, what kind of an environment are you going to be bringing a child into?

I do not understand why people think having a child is going to fix a marital problem. I am not knocking children, but for heavens's sake, if you are already stressed and having second thoughts, you tell me how a baby is going to ease those problems.

Answer 10

Do not bring a baby into your relationship if you are thinking of leaving your new husband. A baby does not make things better. And it's not fair to the child to do so.