I have a big problem & I don’t know what 2 do. Here is the deal....?

Question

I got married when I was 18 to the only man I’d ever dated, kissed, & had sex with.We’ve been married for 6 yrs & have a 5 yr old son.We built a house on the 5 acres.The house, land, cars & everything r n both our names.My marriage reminds me of the marriage my parents had so I thought everything was ok & it was suppose 2 b like this.Although the wife worked, she cook, clean, takes care of the kid, & pampers 2 her husband & what he said goes.I felt this way till I met a friend I work w/who has convinced me it’s not suppose 2 b this way.Where I work, I met a guy who is jus a friend.We talk on the phone everyday now.We talk about everything & I feel comfortable talking 2 him.I can talk 2 him better than I can my husband.Like I said we re just friends & we’ve never done anything & only went 2 lunch 1 time, that’s all we have done outside work.But he makes me feel good & I miss him when I don’t talk 2 him.I somtimes feel I should leave but then what if this friend only wants 2 b a friend?

Answer 1

oh Girl.....you are having an "emoitional affair" watch out! you don't EVER leave a situation and jump right into another one....would you leave your marriage if your "friend" was not there? Think about it hard! Disconnect with your friend and work on your marriage......I know you probably wont', but the road you are heading down, is a long, hard, lonely, yes lonely road!

Answer 2

Focus your energy on expanding your marriage. Be very up front to your husband about your desire to grow and be friends as well as lovers. Lay it all out to him and give your relationship a chance to become what it can. Do not tell him about your experience with the guy at work, just tell him that your relationship must grow otherwise it will die. Just like everything else in this world. Then if you are satisfied that you have put all your energy and heart into trying and it still doesn't work, then try again one more time. Your marriage is the most important thing to your 5 year old. It is the foundation of his world. Your efforts will not only determine your future, but his happiness. Keep that in mind and make sure your husband understands that. Your relationship must come first before all else for the sake of that child.

Answer 3

well young lady it sounds like you find yourself in a situation that many find themselves in having second thoughts about everything and anything. you have a choice to make, and a few things to think through. the first is do you love your husband , two will your husband change and be willing to help in the raising of the children as an equal, and not be tied down by past stereo types. in my wife's and I marriage there is no such a thing as a woman's job, or a man's job, there are things we each prefer to do, but depending on our schedules we both will cut the grass, do the laundry, change diapers, walk the floor, etc. your friend at work has opened your eyes to what could be, and u may never be satisfied with what kind of relationship you have created with your husband, i suggest you think long and hard about your relationship, decide for yourself if he is willing to change to become that man you believe your friend is. and remember in all new relationship people put their best side out first. you see only the good about that person, don't see the warts and habits that are also part of that person. we all go through what you are dealing with sometime in our life's. we get infatuated with something we perceive to be, that in most cases never really is.

Answer 4

Jessica, be careful. If there is nothing wrong with your married life, don't go look for excuses because you will always find one. What you're doing is trying to look for the 5% and ignoring the 95%. What do I mean by that. If 95% of your life is happy and focused on your loving husband the other 5% don't matter. The 5% only matters if you try to find an excuse to focus on it and pretend that you are not aware that 95% of the time you are happy. Life will always be full of temptations and new things and you have to really be cautious. If you lose your family because of that man, you might regret it. Look at yourself first and answer the question , Do i really want to lose everything for this fleeting moment of euphoria? If you look around, there will always be somebody smarter or dumber, more cheerfull, fun to talk to and more sexy than your husband. If you're in love and true to your relationship, you will not find them or even notice. They only appear if you look for them. Such is life. Perhaps, it's time to grow up and hug your family.

Answer 5

Tell this guy how you feel. Also keep in mind that you are married.......He should not tell you what should be and what should not be in your marriage, I don't agree with that. If you were bought up that way from your parents and it's a tradition in your culture then that's your business. I don't believe in taking orders from a man in a marriage, but that is my culture. What you do should be your business and nocody elses. When you marry someone you are committed to only that person and that's it. Honey, stay away from this person, Think about what you have already, You want to jeoperdize what you have foe this guy who is sweet talking you into an affair? Think about your child, your house that you have with this man. Go out to lunch with your husband, talk to him more, he's the one who should be your best friend.

Answer 6

Sorry to say, but the only male friend a married female shoud have is the friend of her husband. Females and males don't mix when it comes to just being friends. You are setting yourself up to fail. If he is just a friend, then go to lunch with him in the company of other co-workers, you should't be calling each other on the phone, what do you have to talk about except work, and you can do that at work. Get a grip girlfriend and focus that energy on your husband and your marriage. It's a great big lonely sinlge world out here, I know because I live in it each day.

Answer 7

Do not have anything to do with this friend. Do not talk to him on the phone or go to lunch with him. You are risking your marriage. Although, it has problems, it has a lot of benefits. Get into counselling. If ur husband will not go w u, go alone. Tell your husband that there must be some changes in your marriage. For example, 1 night a week, he is to cook. If he does not, fix a sandwich for you and your child.DO NOT FIX A SANDWICH FOR HIM. Stop pampering him so much. If he is outside mowing the yard, it is ok to take him a glass of ice water or tea. If he is fixing the dishwasher, then you should fix his meal, but if he is watching TV, let him fend for himself.

Answer 8

Honey, usually when the grass looks greener, it's because it's over a septic tank. Stop talking to the guy at work and start talking to your husband about your feelings and work it out with him, not the friend. The friend will only bring you trouble and give hubby ammo against you, simply because it looks bad, even if nothing sexual is going on..... Good luck, honey.

Answer 9

Life aint easy ... is this person that told you that
even married? sometime what you are feelling is lust... the thing to remember is if you are nnot happy, leave... if you cheat and get caught
it will be a really big issue, in and out of court.
the grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence... ask your self if it is worth losing everything you have for a chance at something you dont know anythig about...

Answer 10

Sounds like You Think The Grass is Greener On The Other Side of the Fence. Be Careful.