the father of my first born, rent out our extra room (hes in a bad spot}
for money, and to make my daughter happy?!! I obviously said never!
My ex and I are only platonic, but the suggestion makes me feel like public property!! He NEVER gets jealous, however the rest of our relationship has been good lately, but now I don't know if I'll ever get past this bizzare suggestion!!
2006-10-24 01:58:58 · 17 answers · asked by sarah 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Renting out a spare room does not seem to me as a problem, unless you think that you and the ex will no longer be platonic!
2006-10-24 02:18:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He loves you unconditionally! Wanting to make you happy, this surely doesn't mean he doesn't love you, it means he loves you more then you know or could love him. He has an understanding about things that you do not. Besides if it is already happening or going to happen, he would rather be a part of it then for it to happen behind his back. I think it was really very nice of him to offer and it might be fun! Think of Biblical Roman days! Sex is just sex and nothing only if you let it will come between the love you two share and he knows that, that is the reason behind his sggestion and why he is giving you the option. Some men like that and the sex can even be better then it already is b/c of something like this. Have an open mind, talk to him more about the subject he also may just be testing but if you talk with him more about this the truth behind his motive will come out, you will know and if it is just for pleasure why not? You could at least try it and if you don't like it go from there and never do it again. This is probably something he has been fanticising about anyway and wanted to ask you to do before but didn't know how but now that he is there the perfect opportunity has come besides you've already been with him so whats the big deal? He shouldn't be living with you anyway why or how could you even do that to your husband, you are the one that has opened the door, you should make husband happy and do what he ask. How would you feel or like it if your husbands X wife or girlfriend came to live with you? Would you be aroused or mad? Be happy he is aroused for your child's sake.
2006-10-24 10:02:55 · answer #2 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband that no matter how good his intentions are, you aren't comfortable living with your ex. Yes, your daughter would love having both of her parents under the same roof, but you broke up with this man for a reason. You don't want to go back to living with him. If your ex is in such a tight spot, then it's his problem, not yours. I don't mean to be so cold and blunt, but it's the truth. You and your husband aren't responsible for taking care of a grown man who should know by now how to support himself. He can move in with some other friend or family member if he needs a place to stay.
Besides the money, your husband has to consider the living situation. There is a big chance that having an ex live with you will cause more problems, not to mention arguments. I don't think any of you want to end up hating each other where you can't even get along for the sake of your daughter.
And if your husband is looking for the added income, then find a neutral tenant to rent to, not someone with who one of you has bad history with. If you don't know anyone else who needs a place, then put an ad in the paper. You can carefully screen the applicants to find one you both are comfortable with.
2006-10-24 09:22:40 · answer #3 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming that the extra room was rented out to your x? Is the room already rented out since you said never? Renting a room to your x as long as he knows where the boundaries are doesn't mean that you have to be in a relationship with him. You can let your husband handle the whole arrangement. If things become too sticky for you, empty the room out and move on, what's the big deal, is he your x or not?
2006-10-24 09:35:10 · answer #4 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may have been putting your daughter above reasoning. That's a good thing, although not a very bright idea. I'm sure he loves you very much, and just did not think the idea through before speaking, (us guys sometimes say stupid stuff), your a very beautiful lady, I'm sure he is not interested in sharing your with the public. Have a great day.
2006-10-24 09:04:14 · answer #5 · answered by loser 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you paranoid? Do you think that he is going to rent the room out to his mistress or some young hot girl who he'll have sex with? Or, maybe the vis versa - you'll have sex with some hot stud who moves in.
There are worse thing that one could do to obtain money. Renting out the spare room is not on that list and is not the end of the world.
2006-10-24 09:03:37 · answer #6 · answered by moonguardianluna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Katy, whether to get past "this bizzare suggestion" or not exclusively depends on you. I suggest you braze yourself up and make up your mind to get past it, and you definitely will. But let me warn you that such a decision requires strong will, determination and self control. Cheers!
2006-10-24 09:05:15 · answer #7 · answered by mykemejeje 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is this so bad? he's your ex partner right. not his? and you should just say no. It does sound really weird to have two guys under one roof. Obviously your husband really trusts you to suggest it. I would talk to your husband though and tell him you think it's weird.
2006-10-24 09:05:16 · answer #8 · answered by purple_butterflyuk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He want to get you into a threesome that why he suggested that you already have a past with the other and had seen you naked so why not you pushed his kid out so now they both can push you. So if you do not want to be tagged and bagged then tell him no cuz he only wants to get it on with you and the ex :)
2006-10-24 09:28:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
it might be that your husband is 100% secure in your marriage, my wife's ex and father to a couple of my girls (step children.... i hate that term as i am their dad and have been for over 10yrs...but any way) he comes over on a regular bases and has even come over at times when i am away working, this has never been an issue for me as i am 100% secure in my trust for and Marriage to my wife..... having said that it has bugged the **** out of my wife with him coming over while i am away as at times he would more than stay his welcome.... further to your question it sounds as your husband is a really thoughtful caring person, as he is offering a place for his step child's dad to stay so the child can see their dad.... under strict rules i would permit it for a short, and i do mean short period while he gets his feet back on the ground...
2006-10-24 09:16:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋