Gay nightclubs are GAY venues. I think too many straights are bringing down the overall tone and atmosphere of gay clubs. They go there, point at us and say "Oh, aren't the gay couples here so cute. Gee, you gay guys are such good dancers. You gay guys have the BEST party drugs. Wow! What a shame you're gay." (I don't even take drugs!!!)
It feels like "Oh, look at me, I'm so ***** tolerant. I have a gay friend, aren't I so post-modern". or "Oh, isn't it cool to be gay.? I wish I was gay..."
I feel like a sideshow act on my own territory when straight couples (especially straight girls) go to MY gay club......
Any thoughts???
2006-10-24 01:57:58 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
To "Anaginoz" -- I'm not talking about taking my straight FRIENDS to gay clubs with me. I'm talking about straight people who come up to me out of nowhere, PEOPLE WHO ARE TOTAL STRANGERS and say really patronizing, stupid and stereotypical crap. I know they think they mean well, but is too much to ask for a GAY club to be, well, GAY???!!
2006-10-24 02:16:42 · update #1
I live in Sacramento, CA and there is a club here called Faces. It used to be super cool until about 9 years ago, when it was discovered by the breeders. Now it's completely overrun with lookie-loos who have no respect for the community that Faces is meant to serve. I stopped going all together...I didn't like spending my Saturday night feeling like part of the "freak-show". I don't think straights should be turned away, but I do think it should be made clear that they are entering a GAY BAR and that any lack of respect will get them kicked out immediately. I also think the owners of these clubs need to keep in mind what population they're serving and not pander to the heteros.
2006-10-24 02:16:15 · answer #1 · answered by Eli 2 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I haven't been to a club in ages, but when I did go, I always prefer the gay bars. There is less of the "meat market" feel about them and more of the joy of life. I dislike the raging testosterone and fragile egos of the men in straight bars. Plus, since I'm married and have no desire to be picked up, I would be exposing my husband to unnecessary aggravation by making him nervous that all these other men will say something outre to me were I to go to the straight venue. I'm much more comfortable if I don't think I'm gonna be hustled. The only discomfort I feel in a gay bar is being propositioned by the lesbians who can't take no for an answer. I guess there's no way out of dealing with this issue after all!
In short, I just like the people who hang out in gay bars better than I like the ones who hang out in straight bars; plus the drag shows are really great to watch! Who says I can't enjoy them without being gay myself?
2006-10-24 03:06:03 · answer #2 · answered by Black Dog 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, Absolutely NO,
Why, Simple. Gay clubs are hip, the music is outstanding, the decor is excellent and i am NOT Gay. I think straight people who love house music should go. I mean i love house music since the ole days of chi-town 80s.
Most Gay clubs play very very good house music. And , the gay men and women are very POLITE..yes..there are a few that go beyond.. BUT, i never let that dampen the night. My wife and I live in Japan. And we drove over 5 hrs and waited in line for another 2 hrs to get into the BEST club( i think) in Japan. ANd it so happens to be a gay club.
Also, i think it will also have cause for understanding. This is needed for straight people to overcome their phobias about gay men and women ..or yet people of other races and backgrounds.
Let everyone in !
2006-10-24 03:04:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
you know.. i have to say that some people are curious.. and because they are, they probably venture into these clubs to see how they react to them and if it turns them on. when someone says "i wish i was gay.." say to them, "maybe you are, or else, why would you be checking the scene? so.. would you like to find out?"" they may not come back.. you should have fun with them, not let them bother you.
remember, you have the upper hand on your turf. play with the fools..(sorry, im gonna edit this to say "fools" are those straight or gay who arent tolerant of others sexual orientation.. who are there for NO good) they only way they can validate why they are there is to make fun of the joint and those in it. make them a little scared.. but be sure to LEAVE with many people who can kick *** if need be.
I get the feeling the people you are talking about either A) have nothing better to do.. or B) are curious about their sexuality..
you could just play with them and say something like.. "we love it when you straight boys come in.. it makes it much more exciting to find the catch of the day!"
scare the hell out of them.. and dont take what they say so personally.. as soon as you lose the energy they create from you with what they say, they wont get the rise they're looking for and would probably leave ya alone.
You cant keep the straight outta a gay bar legally, but you can scare em or convert them.. :D
Damn, I should get out to a gay bar.. I would definately have too much fun..
straight or gay, it really doesnt matter. it's the maturity and respect that's the issue in most cases.. deal with that, not the "straight or gay" aspect.
2006-10-24 02:46:06 · answer #4 · answered by senacia 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I enjoy going to a gay bar to get away from the straight guys. They have so much testosterone that there are always fights, people trying to show how tough they are. But at a gay bar I don't have to worry about picking up on girls, or people getting into fights. I can go in there and relax. If I am alone or with a girl I can just relax. Most gay men I know have great gaydar and they will come over and talk to me but not pick me up. I enjoy a gay bar much better then straight ones. I do not go in there to prove anything, or watch gay people. So I hope you don't kick me out.
b
2006-10-24 02:38:16 · answer #5 · answered by Bacchus 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's necessary to bar entry, just post rules. Taken from the Queer Nation Manifesto:
- Rules of Conduct for Straight People
1. Keep your displays of affection (kissing, handholding, embracing) to a minimum. Your sexuality is unwanted and offensive to many here.
2. If you must slow dance, be an inconspicuous as possible.
3. Do not gawk or stare at lesbians or gay men, especially bull dykes or drag queens. We are not your entertainment.
4. If you cannot comfortably deal with someone of the same sex making a pass at you, get out.
5. Do not flaunt your heterosexuality. Be discreet. Risk being mistaken for a lezzie or a homo.
6. If you feel these rules are unfair, go fight homophobia in straight clubs, or
7. Go **** Yourself.
2006-10-24 21:58:25 · answer #6 · answered by Atropis 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think they should reject entry to straight couples at all. I personally don't mind them. At least these people are tolerant.
At the places I go to we don't get many straight couples, anyway. Most straight men wouldn't be caught dead in a gay bar because they think all gay men are going to want to be all over them (yeah right). What we do get quite a bit of is straight women, who just want to go out and have a good time without having to worry about men hitting on them. And I have a blast with them! : )
2006-10-24 02:27:18 · answer #7 · answered by ByTheSea 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I have loads of gay friends and would never think to say any of the above to them, I go to gay clubs because my gay friends invite me. We have a drink, a groove, say Hi to people we recognise, then I go home, maybe they do or they don't. As long as they dish the next day like any other friend I'm cool to make my own way home.
I have loads of straight friends too, I don't care about someone's orientation just if they are a good person and we have things in common. I think your attitude is pretty immature, and I know my gay friends would agree and hopefully you'll change how you feel because it's nice to be "straight tolerant" if you wish for the world to stop hating each other because of sexual orientation and accept. I have never wished to be gay, I love men, but I am attracted to straight men. My gay friend Mickey has a saying, "gay's not another word for *****", think about it!
2006-10-24 02:13:14 · answer #8 · answered by anaginoz 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I know exactly where you're coming from- but I think not all straights should be banned. When my gf and I go to straight clubs, guys are always hitting on us, asking us to make out and stuff- so to avoid that, my friends go with me to gay clubs, and believe me, they only go to hang out, not to eye hump the gays. Strsights should be allowed, but they have to fill out a questionaire about why they're there. Any wrong answer gets them the boot. But trust me, I've had my share of, "Aww, that's sooo cuuuuute" too.
2006-10-24 04:23:32 · answer #9 · answered by Phedre D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but I have had no problems ever with straight people in a gay bar. If anything (and not that it's a matter of control) I feel superior, in a sense, as it is a gay bar, we can do what we want (as in maybe jumping in a cage to dance, something I would never do in a straight bar....never mind, there are no cages in straight clubs, what a waste). The majority of straight people I have met in gay bars are also very liberal.
2006-10-24 02:55:22 · answer #10 · answered by buldawg 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋