4 days now since I found out about him! She is coming home tonight but only because of our 2 boys. We are going to try to live in the same house in differrent rooms. I don't no if I can do this. I love her with all that I am.
2006-10-24 01:52:30 · 8 answers · asked by skipper 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hmmm i dont think living in the same house is going to work out. Its going to be too hard for you to deal with. Im sorry for what she has done to you,,but you need to leave her and stay away. Why would you want to be second to her??? Let her go and deal with your emotions as they come. Living together is a bad idea.
2006-10-24 01:59:06 · answer #1 · answered by michelle 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The hardest thing to do is to let someone that you love go. Your wife seems to think that the grass in greener elsewhere. She may feel that she is getting something that was missing in your marriage. More than likely she didn't verbalize this to you and felt that you should have just "known" it. She may or may not come to realize that what she did was heartless and a mistake. In the time being if I were you I would ask her to move out. Since you are raising the children you should keep them in a place they are used to being. Allowing her to stay and disrespect you and your children is not a good idea. Not to mention that is not the way the children should view relationships. Think not only of you but of them. Good luck and I am so sorry.
2006-10-24 09:34:00 · answer #2 · answered by mzbrwnskin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I SWEAR TO GOD BRO, YOU WILL BE OK.....JUST GIVE IT TIME!!!
I too lost my wife (now exwife) and I was totally convinced that my life was over. We have 2 sons together and they are all that got me through it. Those boys depend on you, and as they grow, they will more and more. NEVER give up on your kids, they are why you exist, she is NOT! Tell her to leave, do not let her live there with the 3 of you. She wanted out, let her stay out!!!
You will go through an emotional hell soon, worse than anything you could ever imagine, just dont do anything stupid. Do not touch her, or she may file charges against you.
It took me several years to be "ok" with what happened, and honestly, it still pains me today........just know that you can get to this point too !!!
Good luck and try to remember those boys are your only hope of growing up right in this hell with call a life.
ALSO, when she leaves, you can go to the police department and to the courts to file abandonment charges against her, this will help you later during custody battles. WHATEVER you do, dont listen to her telling you that she wont fight you in court.....go file for divorce 1st, that gives you the upper hand !!!!
All the love she once had for you will now be replaced by lies and deceipt, dont fall for it man!!!
FtP
2006-10-24 09:07:00 · answer #3 · answered by Falling to pieces 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having her around will make the pain worse. Every time she leaves, you'll wonder what she's doing, who she's with, etc. Don't beat yourself up emotionally over her mistakes. It's time to take care of you and the kids. She's made it clear that she has another agenda. You deserve love and happiness, but you can't have it until you move on, and get her out of your life. You also need time to heal, and deal with your emotions. It's hard at first, but you will get over it, trust me. Try talking to a pastor, or someone that is willing to listen. Having her stay in the same house will be horrible for the kids. They don't need to see the fighting, or their mom with another man just yet. They as well, need time to heal.
2006-10-24 09:25:21 · answer #4 · answered by Dawn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married to my husband for 16 years. We have 3 children. Three years ago my husband and I split up. I left him because he was an alcoholic and wasnt faithful. You know the only thing I could do for my children and myself was to just keep going. The pain of it all doesnt go away in one day, but it does get moved to the back side as life goes on.
As that song goes "If the sun comes up tomorrow, let her be"
2006-10-24 09:25:35 · answer #5 · answered by Keepin it real 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it will be so hard on you to be living in the same house with her, and everytime she leaves your heart will break. if i had to live knowing the one i loved, loved someone else i could not live in the same house with them.i would not be able to do this. once something like this happens in a marriage it causes something in the marriage to die, and usually one can't ever get it back. i too had a similar situation with my ex husband of 10 years, and each and every time i saw him or he called after i found out about her i could not deal with it.i stopped anwaring the phone, because every time i did answar it hoping beyond hope he had chosen me, my hopes were squashed, and he only wanted to talk about the divorce.so to protect my heart i filed for divorce, knowing i could never get past it, knowing he would only do it again even if we did reconcile.i chose to deal with it head and right away so i could get on with my life. the more contact you have with her the worse you will feel, both of you have a different agenda, you wanting reconciliation and her wanting it to be over.we can still love somebody and still leave them, it's a way of protecting ourselves from more hurt. good luck, i am so sorry for your pain, and theres no way to make it go away,just time and distance between you and the person who hurt you will help.
2006-10-24 20:09:26 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SHE DOESN'T SOUND VERY NICE!! HOW DO YOU LEAVE TWO BABIES, FOR ANOTHER MAN!! LOOK.........IF YOU'VE BEEN ALONE WITH THOSE BOYS, AND SHE'S BEEN GONE FOR 4 DAYS TO DO WHO KNOWS WHAT...WHY WOULD YOU WANT HER NEAR YOU AND YOUR SONS????? YOU SOUND LIKE A PRETTY SMART GUY.PACK HER S***, AND PUT IT ON THE LAWN, CHANGE THE LOCK IF YOU NEED TO
TELL HER THE ONLY WAY SHE IS COMING BACK TO YOU AND YOUR SONS IS THROUGH A THERIPISTS OFFICE, AND SHE NEEDS TO MAKE THE APPOINTMENT!! YOU MAY LOVE HER BUT YOU NEED TO MAKE HER RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT SHE HAS DONE!! YOU'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG,ALL YOU DID WAS LOVE HER!!! MAKE HER MAN UP!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-24 09:01:10 · answer #7 · answered by mamaexfour 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am so sorry for you, why don't you go to a priest for help.
regarding her moving back in because of the kids don't she has to come back because she loves you not because of them. your boys are gonna suffer under your fights and stuff. rather go your own ways.
once a cup is broken, you can fix it but the crack will always be there.
good luck
2006-10-24 08:59:15 · answer #8 · answered by sweet - angel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋