i have a guy but now, cuz im bi-curious, im considering trying out with a gal, w/o telling him.
As i said im bi-curious, i dont know if i will cross over, i just think of this gal everyday want to be with her romantically, think about takin care of her being with her and kissing her and hugging her, but i dont know if i really am with her i wld think its gross (thereby ending my bi-curiosity).
i dont wan to tell anyone bcos ppl might think im a freak. yeah i sldnt care what others think of me but i stil cant bring myself to get past that yet, id rather live in secret so dont advise me to come out.
bottom line, i stil care about my guy, i dont want to make him sad cuz of my bi-curiosity (ie make him think it was his fault he dint treat me well enuff), but i really need to get rid of this bi-curiosity (if dat gal wants me too dat is) and find out once and for all if i am or i am not!!
help!
2006-10-24 01:39:12 · 30 answers · asked by acnemycin 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
hmnn i dont really understand why so many ppl here answer saying guys will definitly love a threesome..do they ALL really? anyway i dont really like a threesome, its just weird for me
and yea my guy meaning my boyfriend. unfortunately in the society and the social group i live in most of us arnt really that open, i mean we see gays n les around we are ok with it, but i cant imagine how my bf wld react abt me coming clean, from his circle of frns i think im sure he might be devastated if i am really bi as i had always been
thanks for the answers so far though
2006-10-24 01:51:42 · update #1
just wanted to add, im 24, but since early teens i have had this bi-curiosity with women.
i dont know if it stemed from not having any bf at all (my current bf is my first), i do get interested in guys, just that they nv reciprocrated,
but i have never been with a gal, (i did confess to some who i was interested in they also nv reciprocrated), thats y i said i was bi-curious, cos i fantasize, but if i go ahead with it, as in actually be romantic with a gal, what if i dint like it and it seems much nicer in my head? then its really jus fantasy, n im more suited for guys instead. but i dont really know all that until i truely dated a gal,
im not against les/bi, im just confused and fustrated how can i sort out my feelings.
2006-10-24 02:51:33 · update #2
Talk about your felings with him. Whether it is cheating or not to be with a girl (even for one night) is something that y'all have to decide together. Anything done with another person outside of your relationship that is done in secret and behind your significant other's back should be thought of as cheating. It will put the same stress on your relationship and weaken it, because it will break the trust. If it absolutely must involve lying (including hiding or not volunteering the truth) then DON"T DO IT. If your relationship is healthy and you are happy, then you should feel open to discuss this with your man. If not, sit back and evaluate the reasons why you fell you can't alk to him. But please, don't lie, because you seem happy with what you have, and it would be a shame to lose it over something that you could have discussed and he would have been fine with.
2006-10-24 05:02:10 · answer #1 · answered by GeauxNOLA 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What happens if you are bisexual? I mean, maybe you should "have a break" from the guy relationship and try out a chick. (i mean that with the utmost respect to the girl) If you dig her, more so than a guy, then you dont have to deal with an explanation and a break up. Is the girl lesbian or bisexual that you fantasize about? This is KEY to your exploration.. if she is and you know it, you may stir up things with her in your quest, then leave her hurting if youre not bi. Let her know that this is your first and youve been curious before you jump!
I think the easiest thing to do is what you want to do which is go try it out behind his back and see. THEN you deal with whatever afterwards without having to think of it now. If you want to play by morals and the "right thing to do", then it would be to put the other relationship on hold to do your "finding out". It is much harder, but the most respectable thing to do. you may even lose the guy, but then, is it worth it to know what you like/dislike? I would say "yes". (and if he really cared, he wouldnt go anywhere..)
beyond anything though, if you dont find out, you will have another ten years of wondering.. and you may end up hating/resenting yourself for not finding out when you had the chance..
2006-10-24 03:17:03 · answer #2 · answered by senacia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my experience with cheating it's best to let the guy you care about know how you feel about this other person. It's probably going to be one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do. But, even though it will hurt him, it'll still save a lot of hurting in the future for the both of you if you let him know your feelings now. (trust me I KNOW) At the same time you still need to try and figure out why you feel the way you do. I don't know exactly how far your feelings go for this other girl, but I do know that your not the only girl out there that fantasizes being with another girl. It's just something most girls are curious about whether they want to admit it or not. But if that's strictly not the case, and this other girl isn't just a fantasy but someone you really have feelings for... then tell your guy and don't feel sorry for him. He doesn't deserves that from you, he deserves the truth.
2006-10-24 01:50:42 · answer #3 · answered by Rachel S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me your asking alot of questions: first cheating... if your relationship with your guy is exclusive then you are cheating if you go through with it and deceive him. If it's casual dating, you may have sex... it's on/off kind of thing then you own no explanation. Each of you have seperate lives and come together for mutual gratification.
Second- Sexual fantasies is perfectly normal. We all have them at one time or another. But you keep using curiosity with having a lesbian experience. Then you use the term "coming out". Which lends to the question is it that a hetrosexual relationship is not fufilling your wants and needs? You want to add another partner to that relationship if your guy is willing? Or you want one on one sex with a woman? Or are you in fact a lesbian and know it?
Because all of the above have their positive and negatives. Having sexual contact with a female doesn't make you a lesbian. You don't say how old you are? It's not uncommon in the early teen, twenties era to be curious. Whatever you decide, I hope you think carefully and don't ruin any relationships with anyone. Maybe you and your guy need to explore eachothers bodies more? There was a good book entitled "Our Bodies, Our Selves" which is out of print (31 yrs) something like that which helped women and young girls understand their bodies. You may need him to alter his manners with you in bed if it's strictly sex. But if you want the experience of a women, then level with the guy. Enjoy the experience it can be quite erotic but be aware he may actually tell his friends and everyone will know. There is no easy, right or wrong what you should do.
2006-10-24 02:23:04 · answer #4 · answered by Staci 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think you should try it.
I also feel like you.
I have had those feelings to just have not had anyone to try them with or any girl i could ask out cause i wouldn't know how to act.
But if there is someone in mind you already have then i would suggest you try it and find out if that is what you like. Like that later in life you won't be like i (should of) .
And as for your bf don't tell him nothing until you are sure.
But if this is a long and deep relationship the i think you should tell him how you feel. If the relationship is strong he will understand you. And if it is a short relationship just getting going then i wouldn't tell him until you are sure.
Good luck on whatever you decide to do .
i would love to hear how everything turns out in the future for you so hope to hear your experience here. when it happens
Again good luck
2006-10-24 04:22:48 · answer #5 · answered by Solitaire 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have an "affair" either physically or emotionally outside of your relationship with your boyfriend then, YES, you are cheating.
Bottom line.
If your relationship with your boyfriend is worth anything at all to you, you really should be able to communicate your feelings with/to him about being bi-curious.
No, I'm not saying to "come out." But rather communicate.
Any relationship worth being in depends on open and honest communication.
Also a bottom line.
2006-10-24 04:16:58 · answer #6 · answered by DEATH 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want to try sex with a girl? Go for it. Don't tell anyone. If you don't do it you will always be curious about it. Good grief...as much cheating that goes on in this country one more won't make any difference. Forget the 3 somes and more somes. This is for you and no one else. And if you find you like it....good for you! Enjoy!
2006-10-24 08:11:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey in case you've already got evidence he's dishonest ("So i imagine my bf is dishonest doing the internet aspect I do have evidence, yet he hides his "cookies" temp information that would hint what you're doing on-line.. ") why might want to you favor to proceed torturing your self searching for better evidence? basically kick him to the lessen noone advantages to be cheated on. i understand its a lot less stressful stated than finished because i'm particular you want him, yet love your self better. No guy is ever properly worth your tears.
2016-10-16 06:13:14 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Babes
Seems to me you are a wee more than curious maybe ??
I would go for it , what have you to lose ? Check out this web site to meet gay and Bi women in your area, its fab and maybe talking to other like minded people will help you ?
www.gaydargirls.com
Free registration and emails....
Don't tell anyone its your thing , that you need to accept and deal with, if you enjoy than go for it ...
Do what you want and feel love , one life live it....
Once you have made the step, i feel you will never look back !!!!
Good luck
2006-10-24 03:07:37 · answer #9 · answered by loulou777 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok....you and i are in the exact same predictaments...i've battled with the bi curiousness since high school and well and am 23 now, always been in striaght relationships and enjoy them, but i can't get the fantasy out of my head either...and i have a wonderful bf now and i want to tell him as well, but i don't want him to freak out and leave me...i don't know if i reall want to go thru with it...sometimes things are better left fantasies, ya know? but i do get turned on when watching a porn or something..naked women are hot...he kinda knows i'm attracted to women...i've mentioned that, but he doesn't know that i want to try being with one sexually...i don't know if i would want a relationship with a women...and i don't know any girls that i would want to be with either...so it's tough...i just keep trying to dismiss the idea...but it's starting to affect my sex life with my bf..the last few times i haven't been able to O at all...even though i'm trying hard too...i get al ldistracted and fusterated in my mind and then i can't enjoy him...it's crazy and complicated..so i know exactly how you feel hun...why don't you email me so we can chat some more...
2006-10-24 04:43:11 · answer #10 · answered by tigerlily 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋