answers please!!!!!?

Question

i know that nobody can really answer this question without thinking that its up to me but i would like to know other peoples opinions. me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 nearly 6 months and both of us feel ready to have a baby im 20 and hes 19 and we both live at home so obviously we will have to move out when i get pregnant. anybody have any points of view on this?

Answer 1

hey my names kim n me n my boyfriend have been together for 10 months almost 11 n we want a baby too so i feel u but like wouldnt ur parent slet u live in the house n have ur boyfriend move in?

Answer 2

Save up for 6 moths, buy a plane ticket and go off travelling together somewhere exciting. Stay in youth hostels and meet people your own age. This will be a great test as to whether you are a good match and will also make both of you ask if you really want to tie yourslef down with a baby so young. It is a great time in your life to get out there and have experiences together as a couple. Come home and then decide. You don't regret a minute of the travelling and will come back older and wiser. It worked for me and really changed the way I looked at what life had to offer.

Answer 3

move out first
see if you can work out the kinks of living together before bringing a baby into the mix
pregnancy is a stressful time - on your body, your finances and your relationship
so is moving in together and setting up housekeeping for the first time
if you're commited and want to make it work, then start with finding a place big enough for three and go on and move out
start paying the bills and set up a savings account to prepare for the extra expenses of baby
if you don't already have jobs that you love, then take a serious look at what's available and make a move now
once you have a baby, the pressure to 'make the bills' can force you to stay in a job you don't really like for years
make sure you've got good health insurance - sometimes there are complications with delivery (my youngest had to be transferred to another hospital due to a bowel obstruction - we ended up with three hospital bills - one for me, two for her - plus an out of this world neonatal ambulance bill).
and go ahead and set up life insurance policies for both of you while you're at it - if either of you are in an accident and die, the surviving partner is going to need a lot of help financially to take care of the child til adulthood
Good luck with making this most important decision.

just read Kim's response and had to comment
I have two girls, still young - but the answer is no, they cannot just live here and have the boyfriend move in. I commited to raising two children - two - not two plus however many they commit to raising. I will adore being a grandmother, but frankly the mother job and the grandmother job are very different. Also, I've seen the conflicts that can happen when a young mother lives with her mother and depends on her financially. The g'mom ends up thinking she's got a say so in how the child is raised since she's paying the bills and the young mom feels persecuted and treated like a child. Get your own place, pay your own bills, make your own rules and raise your own child - if the plan is to ask mom and dad to do it for you then you are not ready to have a child of your own.

Answer 4

This is just my opinion, but I think you are still very young. Do something with your life first, move out of your parents house, go to college, start a career, party,... whatever it is you want to do. Once you have a baby, your whole life changes. Some people can handle that at 20, some cannot and wished they had waited. Does your boyfriend have a good job? Do you know how expensive babies are? Do you know how expensive it is to live on your own? Are you sure that your boyfriend is the one to have babyies with? Will he pay child support if you ever break up? But if you know you are ready, go for it. My sister in law had her first baby at age 21 and is a very very good mom. And her husband is a very good, steady provider even though he was only 22 when they had the baby.

Answer 5

Well lets see where can i start.
This is just my opinion please don't feel bad.
I am a single mother of 5 kids myself.
I had my first baby at the age of 15.
So you might not think that i am the one to be giving my opinion.
But, here goes.
I know you feel loved and the feeling of having a baby will bring joy and surprises into your relationship, but, in the long run once all that passes there will be very difficult times to come. I now regret not having been prepared more for my kids as for now all i wish for is a better life for them.

So my advice would be to wait until you do have your own place and be financially ready. this is a BIG responsibility. We all think we are ready and it is beautiful, .............. but, really stop and think what it is you are really going to offer that baby.
Hope my advice helped a little and don't take it to heart i just feel so bad that my kids don't have their father and wouldn't want ANY kid to be without. Plus if this guy LOVES you he will understand.

Good Luck and best wishes on whatever you decide.

Answer 6

ok ... The key word in your question was BOYFRIEND.... If you 2 are not committed to each other as in married... then you are not ready. Also I know alot of young people are having babies but believe me they struggle. At 19 I know I thought I was mature enough to handle raising a child, but remember you are responsible for how this little life turns out. Here is a suggestion for you.... Most cities and towns have parenting classes at no charge.... Visit one or 2.... Listen to stories and really think life over.... Do you have a career? How will you live? What if......?You have a long time before you hit menapause so live a little first... once you have a baby ,you cant return it.

Answer 7

i would say you should wait until both of you are married or at least have been together long enough to know if you are ment for each other. having a baby is not just something that you do, you can't give it back when you are tired of playing with it. its a life long commitment. something that you should consider before you go off and have a baby. you are only 20 your not old enough to drink yet. if you get pregnant now you will not be able to celebrate your 21. not that thats more important then a baby but you really should think about this before you give your life up.

Answer 8

I would say you havent been together long enough. People dont realise that having a baby is one of the most common causes for couples to split. Its a huge strain, you need time together to get to each other properly first, I'd say at least a couple of years. Plus you nee to live on your own first so you can work out how well off you are financially before bring a third person into the equation.

Just my opinion....

Answer 9

If it was me I would get a job and an little apartment first and get on your feet a little bit, because when you get pregnant you both are going to have enough to plan and buy for with the baby so it's best for everyone that you get out on your on first especially if one of yalls parents is not gonna let yall stay with them make sure that you can live with them before you get forever bonded to them. Because things are so much different when yu move in with them.

Answer 10

if you love each other enough to make a baby, then you should have enough love to get married first, have a place of your own then start a family so many young girls/guys think having a baby will keep you together but it doesn't it will make thing worse if your not mentally and finically ready.

Answer 11

I think you need to move out first. You are putting the cart before the horse-so to speak. Not to mention 5 months is not very long, you barely know each other.