The q I posted last nite was 'There has been no infidelity--I am SURE, but what are some signs my husband is gay?', and a couple of responses stated that we were separated and that I should move on. I am ok with us being separated, and I actually have moved on. I didn't mention in my original details that we have a daughter, so its not like I can just shake this one off and pretend it never happened. 2gether, we had 7 kids-- his, mine and ours so we will 4ever be connected. He had an odd fascination with bjs and anal sex, but he never had a sex drive. It was nothong for us to go 2 months w/o any intimacy, and he never wanted to kiss. I honestly can't remember the last time we kissed, not even when we made love. His porn movies were always girl/girl (mostly) or girl/guy; I don't recall ever guy/guy. He never 'acted' gay, like wearing girl clothes or anything. I'm his only real friend, and want to confront him, but I need facts 1st. What are sure signs that he may be gay, besides these?
2006-10-24 01:26:56 · 11 answers · asked by summgirl5 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You would really have to preview my question from last night to have more info. He never had a drive before the baby, his father was gay, he is a truck driver, I am not interested in trying to have sex with him anymore, I am only trying to be a friend, and a concerned mother. Thank you all for your input, but I guess I am not getting any sure signs other than my gut instinct, and I will approach him soon enough, when the time is right. I don't care if he is gay, but I am not sure he knows it yet, and I will help him, not criticize. Thank you all for your help.
2006-10-24 01:47:01 · update #1
I would like to take a moment to add some insight...I did give him bjs and anal sex...EVERY time he wanted it. I have no problems being approached and I know I am an attractive woman. I take great pride in being able to please my man sexually. I have NEVER had any man reject my advances, until my husband. Then, he was simply not interested when I would try. we had a great friendship, and could talk easily, but I think that may be a bit much for him to admit, being that his dad was gay and he saw the reaction that brought. According to his ex wife and a couple others, his sex style hasn't changed, only slowed down. I still love my husband, but I don't want to live with him. I certainly want to see him happy, for our daughter's sake. NO, just because he didn't have an interest in me did not make him gay, but alot of other confusing aspects of our marriage make sense if that is the case. That is why I was asking for signs, to compare to some of his past habits or traits. Thanks.
2006-10-24 08:44:29 · update #2
When walking down the street, watch where he looks first as a couple approaches. Does he glance at the man or the woman first? Is there a consistent pattern? I've found this technique to be pretty reliable.
2006-10-26 11:09:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st I am NOT gay, but I have a couple of gay friends, & I have some insights from them. What you have described is more likely a man with a slightly lower than normal sex drive than a gay man. Gay men don't necessarily wear "girl clothes" either, that is more in the realm of transvestites.
His taste in porn isn't too unlike my own, so I would say that it also indicates that he is not Gay.
The big question here is: If you've really moved on, then why do you need to know if he's gay. A gay man is not likely to transmit his "Gayness" to his children, like a disease.
I wonder if you are trying to find an explaination as to why he failed to be intimate with you.
Whether he is gay or not, his issues lie within him, NOT YOU!
I don't think you have enough ammunition here to go asking him if he's Gay. I've never had anyone ask me that myself, but if the question ever came from my wife, or a close friend, I can't imagine how that would affect me.
If you want to confront him in a constructive way, then ask him to consider why he wasn't very intimate with you when you were together. I am sure he will bring that trait into his next relationship, & it might do him some good to think about making some changes within.
2006-10-24 01:49:56 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
just because he has a fasination w bj's and anal doesn't set him in te gay dept. You will only know if you ask and if he is i don't see what the problem is. Let him be him as long as no sexual things are going on infront of your daughter. My best friend is gay and i never knew it in school. He was a well dressed and very polite guy, always took care of himself and what he looked like. It was not untill recently maybe 2 or 3 years ago that he came to me and said he was gay. He has no feminine walks, no wearing womans clothes, you really wouldn't know if he was unless you ask. I sa just ask it may be awkward but hopefully you'll get a straight answer. good luck and be gentle if he is accept him for him or you will loose him
2006-10-24 01:36:10 · answer #3 · answered by whijess03 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, because he didn't have sex with you often that means he is gay? Are you really saying that? Anyway, It is a know fact that some men, after their wives give birth are turned off to sex. Something about a baby coming out of there. It is possible that that could have been a reason for lack of intimacy. I think it's silly to automatically assume he is gay because he didn't have sex with you often enough.
2006-10-24 01:37:21 · answer #4 · answered by MrNiceGuy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you ever think that maybe he's just not interested in "you" sexually anymore. Try to spice things up and see what happens.Most men have a fascination for BJs. Maybe you should give him one once in a while. It will give him something to look forward to.
2006-10-24 01:37:32 · answer #5 · answered by I'manalienfrog 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go to him and say guess what i ordered and he will say what and you say a strap on and say i figured me and you could have some fun,, but act all sexy about it and if he is interested and gets aroused then he may be turned on by men.. and just ask him.. honey are you gay? and let him no your not just picking on him but are concerned... good luck... but all guys like BJ's lol.. and some even like the anal stuff that dont mean they are gay they could just like the feeling...and in finding what he likes and tell him what you like you two will become closer and be able to be more intimate good luck....
2006-10-24 01:34:56 · answer #6 · answered by Amy 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
being gay is not as easy to spot if he hiding it little things may show like less sex eyc you may think its an affair but its actually a man confront him x
2006-10-24 01:31:24 · answer #7 · answered by charles m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
does he spend alot ov time with men? is he pleasing you in the bedroom ?nd are u feeling pushed out abit and lyk he is not that involved in this marrage
2006-10-24 01:31:37 · answer #8 · answered by temple_lynne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont confront him if you want to remain friends. i would just forget about if youve both moved on. even if he is gay he probably hasnt addmitted it to himself yet.
2006-10-24 01:30:34 · answer #9 · answered by ms sensible 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's weird....you let him do anything he want, bj anytime, butt sex, and he don't wanted .....damm...poor guy.....he's gay for sure
2006-10-24 01:41:21 · answer #10 · answered by dznuts 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋