Whats the funniest or most embarrassing thing thats ever happened to you, or that you've ever witnessed?

Question

I'm bored at work, i need a pick me up

Answer 1

i was once in a cafe, i ordered a coffee and a min packet of custard cream biscuits, then sat down at a table.

an old man came and sat across from me i was daydreaming about that night as i was going out and not paying attention to anything until the man picked up my packet of biscuits and ate one, he then looked at me and smiled i couldnt believe it i just stared at him but didnt say anything as he was old but then the cheeky bugger reach down and took a second one out of the packet and smiled at me again i thougt i wasnt having that!! the old man had a cream bun at the side of his coffee cup so i reached over and grabbed it took a great big bite out of it grabbed my last custard cream from the packed,smiled at him and walked out of the cafe, the man looked a bit shocked but it served him right!!

Its only when i got to the car park and put my hand in my pocket for my keys that i found MY PACKET OF BISCUITS!! the man had only been eating his own packet of biccys as mine were stuffed in my pocket

i felt like such an idiot that poor old man must have thought i was a total lunatic biting his bun for no reason stealing his biscuit and running out of the place.

I have never been back to that cafe since but i chuckle about it now when i tell people.

Answer 2

Wasnt funny really but I couldnt help laughing. My husband was running late for work, ran into the bathroom - brushed his teeth and washed - no time for a shower so he just squirted some hair mousse and ran it through his hair. A few minutes later later he came in and said the mousse smelt disgusting. When I looked his hair was burning up and squidgy - he'd put hair removing mousse on !!

The only other time was when I was out on a first date with my now husband. We went into a pub and there was only us and one other guy sitting at the bar. In mid conversation I knew I wanted to fart and luckily got away with a silent whisper. I turned to get my drink and the disturbance of air wafted the most rancid stink upwards. Within 30 seconds my husband asked 'what the f#ck is that'. I couldnt say it was me so I lied and pretended it was the bloke at the bar. For the next half hour my husband kept saying 'I cant believe he did that - the blokes an animal' and he wasnt quiet about it. Eventually the bloke got up and left with my husband still insulting him as he went. All I can say is thank god the guy wasnt a fighting sort or I'd have been in trouble. I still dont know how I managed to carry it off without blushing but I did. About 4 years after I owned up - my husband said he'd never have married me if he'd known I stank so bad. :-)

Answer 3

Was working at the local Cinema in Aviemore, very small \Cinema used for screening Ski Movies. It was back in the days when we went around with an ice cream tray. i did not know at the time that they had been working on the manhole at the rear of the Cineam and on my way out I fell down it as they had forgotten to put the top back on properly. I manged to fall half way down and if hadn't been for that Ice Cream Tray I would still be down there now 20 years later. The Tray managed to jam me halfway in and the cover was stuck in my leg just above the knee. I was there for 2 hours and managed to eat 2 choc ices and a vanilla tub before I was rescued. I remember stumbling around to reception, getting a telling off my boss, my pay docked and I still have the dent and the scar till this day!!!

Answer 4

while i became in severe college, the drama and music departments collaborated on a production of "Oklahoma" -- and that i became the orchestra. This became the mightiest production the faculty had ever achieved, and that they have been amazing pleased with it -- large deal of exposure, invites to community dignitaries, etc.etc. The night formerly the overall performance, the faculty janitor became recommended to make the auditorium sparkle because it on no account had formerly, and he quite positioned his returned into it -- he became so conscientious, in actuality, that he polished no longer basically the piano, however the piano keys. And, on an identical time as shifting the paino around to polish the floor, he neglected to fasten the wheels into place as quickly as I clapped my palms to the keys for the overture, I knew that this we've been in for an journey. the 1st chord splattered extremely comprehensively everywhere in the keyboard, and the rigidity of the chord sent the piano charging far flung from me at approximately 5 miles in step with hour, crashing against the wall, on an identical time as I sat there on the bench with a puzzled and shocked expression. The aim industry, ever well mannered, did their point maximum suitable to suppress the laughter on the sight of me chasing the piano around the floor -- pulling it returned into place, stomping on the wheel locks, and then sitting down and being no longer able to strike any be conscious cleanly in any respect. there became no way i could desire to get any traction on the keys, no remember how complicated we wiped off the keys. So we pulled the previous 1st Earl Baldwin of Bewdley upright from returned diploma, which, of direction, had final been tuned while Santa became a cub scout. It became completely a nil.5 tone flat -- and at my soft age, (or perhaps immediately) I had no potential with transposing. for the time of the overall performance of "undesirable Judd is ineffective" the undesirable baritone's selection became heavily challenged, and he croaked out the low notes like a foghorn. It became in simple terms horrific from one end to the different. Glinzek

Answer 5

Embarrassing!!!
When I was 17 I was working on a small ranch in B.C. and on a Sunday afternoon the rancher had a BBQ for the neighbours. Being underage he wouldn't let me drink but I sneaked a few beers anyway and eventually needed to pee. Instead of going into the house I went into a nearby barn and stupidly left the door open. While I was peeing a heifer in the barn made a dash for the door. I lunged for it and caught it by the tail but being off balance it dragged me out through the door bawling as it went. When everybody looked over what they saw was me with a heifer by the tail trying to put my pecker back in my pants. I stayed out of sight and when the guests had gone and everybody was asleep I went into the house, packed my bag and took off down the road

Answer 6

You'll like this one, The last day of my work the girls decided to get me something special, So picture this I'm standing at the service desk working on the computer when i hear someone saying hmhmm, I look up to see a naked man standing in front of me with flowers and champagne, This was in the middle of a store full of customers. He's called the Buff Butler! well he followed me ever where tendering to my every whim, GOD I WAS MORTIFIED. Although he was a hunk.

Answer 7

I was in a crowded lift last Tuesday, I love chewing gum as it freshens the mouth up but it always gives me terrible wind, I had chewed my way through 4 packets of Wrigleys spearmint. My face was very contorted at one stage in the lift of all places as I felt the gas trying to escape. Well for the life of me, I couldn't hold it in, it just happened, the tears were flowing down my cheeks with dispair, then I let rip for about 8 seconds continuosly, the smell was unbelievable, needless to say the lift emptied very quickly next floor down as people ran for there lives to get fresh air, need I say more

Answer 8

I bought a croissant to eat, and I decided to eat it on the tube. It was summer, so I stood near one of the open windows at the end of the carriage to get some air. As I bit into the croissant, all the flaky bits of pastry blew down the carriage, covering everyone. I was so embarrassed, I had to get off at the next stop and wait for the next train.

Answer 9

I was in Stockholm and the garbage bags there look a bit like the trays old women use for foodshopping. Well I sneezed a full load in my tissue and there was one of these garbage bins and I really cooly threw the soaking tissue in there and well after I went 5 meters further a women came running to me, red in the face, shouting something on swedish, of course not understandable for me and she pointed at the garbage bin. Well, it turned out to be one of these old womens' trays. Yes, I picked the tissue up, and yes, it was in front of about a hundred people, and yes, it was hell.

Another one of these beautiful stories I have plenty to tell:
Well me and my exboyfriend were having sex and his Mum popped into the room. Enough said, I guess.

Another: I was sitting with my exboyfriends parents eating, and his Dad was sitting in front of me. Well I mistook his leg and his feet for something on the floor, actually i didnt quite realize that I was doing something with my feet, and then it turned out to be his feet, well yeah, he didnt say anything about it, what made it worse, so I coulnt even explain myself.

I think thats enough for today.

Answer 10

I was out walking with my boyfriend in the lake district. There was nobody to be seen for miles around, so when I needed to go I just went to a little hollow, and squatted.

Mid flow these 2 guys just appeared from nowhere....right in front of me. I could have died with embarrassment!