Why did I cheat?

Question

Should I tell my wife?
My wife started grad. school. One week into the semester, she brought a friend home. We all went clubbing and all the time her friend, who was a bit drunk, kept on telling my wife and me how good a husband I was and how lucky my wife was.

As we reached home, she said she wanted to talk to me and we went down in the elevator. My wife went into our apartment. As the elevator closed, she started kissing me and I, who was also quite drunk kissed her back. We got a little passionate, however both realised it was wrong and so we got back home. My wife asked me what she wanted to talk about, and I said it was nothing, she was just very drunk.

The next day I called her and told her to forget what happened, and although I felt it was not my fault, I was sorry. We have met a few time afterwards with my wife along with me.

What should I do? I love my wife. Should I tell her? Also, I think her friend is very preety. Should I ask her what made her make a move on me

Forgot to add. My wife does not really trust me with other women as I had a relation with another girl while we were dating. We worked things out then and we got married and I have been clean all this while. This is after 5 years that something happened again.

A good friend of my wife had once tried to kiss my wife. She told me about it and I try not to think about it. Although I don't talk to this guy any more. But I trust my wife.

Also, while we were dating, she had gone out of town with friends and her friends tell me another friend kissed her. She denies it and i believe her. She is still good friends with that guy.


Forgot to mention, my wife is not very understanding. When I told her that I was seeing another girl while we were dating, she told me never to see her again. She was a very good friend, however I have not seen her or talked to her since the day I told my wife. Never got a chance to clear things out with that girl.

Answer 1

since you already cheated once you better to her about the kiss, she may think alot more happened or may think alot more is going on if she finds out from someone else....as for why the friend kissed you she was drinking(would be her excuse), yes maybe she is attracted to you but you are married any real woman and real friend would not even go there...

Answer 2

The two of have messed up your bond. The two of you should be honest with one another and try working things out. If you love your wife, you should stop seeing other women. If your wife was cheating on you as well, then she should stop it too. If the two of you agreed to get married because you loved one another, then you wouldn't have to do this.

Do you want to lose her? Set things right again. If you don't do something now then you will truly have an affair that could cause you a day in the jail house. You could be sued. If you loved her, you would stop seeing other people and stick with her! So what if another girl is prettier than her! Your wife trusts you as well. I'm sure that it would also hurt her feelings. So be honest with her and maybe things would work out for the best.

Answer 3

You say, I love my wife very much and ask why did you cheat, read what you told us and then you will realize your wife don't satisfy you, she treats you bad and has no respect for you.

You are writing to get justification for what you have done, I suggest you divorce your wife because she doesn't make you feel like a man and then find the woman who will. Remember this an affair is exactly that. Don't build your happiness on someone Else's unhappiness and don't look for justification, you have a choice and cheating is not the answer, get divorced that is the right way ahead. Don't think an affair is a good idea, it is just your way of making her pay and it is wrong.

Good luck

Answer 4

I'm all for honesty in a relationship but in this case I probably wouldn't tell her, IF NOT.... if not that woman was her friend to begin with, so it's likely your wife will find out no matter what.

First I wouldn't really think what the two of you did was cheating, it was dumb and drunk, but not cheating. So I guess I'd be fine if my hubby told me and I could sense that he was truly sorry.

How do you think would your wife react? Talking you her openly and calmly would probably be best. Because if she finds out by her friend, she will be hurt. I would be, too. And I don't think you would want that to happen.

Answer 5

Why tell her. You were drunk and kissed. Why ruin your marriage

YOU are married and vowed to love honor and be faithful to your wife. Avoid any contact with that woman.

And did you know that some adults don't get drunk. Maybe it is time for you to grow up and be responsible.

Don't F up what you have with your wife.

I This lady cheats with you.........she will cheat ON you.
No way could you have a future with her. She is a player and has little respect for her friend, your wife.

I would avoid hanging out with her. She is a home breaker.

Answer 6

i think that you should tell her because if she hears this from someone elts andthen either A sleep on the coutch B she moves out or C she divorses you. anyway you really shouldnt relie on the abc thing dont worry about that but you might end up on the coutch.Anyway just tell her but dont say that you issed her back. an dif she goes and asks this girl if you did then tell her remember she was drunk she doesnt remember. but anyway good luck!!!

Answer 7

I think you were flattered by the attention this woman gave you, but unless you want to end your marriage, stay away from her. And remember she is probably regretting it anyway, you ARE married to her friend after all! And if she's not feeling terrible, do you really want to see a woman that would steal her friend's husband?

Answer 8

Hey man....looks like you are looking for greener pastures.
You say you love our wife - but you are also wondering whether you should pursue her friend.
Only one piece of advice - if you have your feet in too many boats, sooner or later you'll get a dunking.

Answer 9

I think you should tell your wife - you haven't done anything too terrible (at least I think you haven't. Did you actually do the deed or not? I'm assuming you haven't)

DON'T ask her friend what made her do it - she it likely to interpret this as an invitation to do it again!

Answer 10

You should've never gotten married as you are incapable of staying faithful. How sad and pathetic. Your wife has good reason not to trust you - and now she has even better reason to divorce you. I hope she does!