I am 24yrs my boyfriend and I both work and have a house in the mountains. His ex does not work never has she sometimes gets jobs with mentaly ill or elderly people then claims she gets hurt and sues..thats how she gets money. She lives in an apartment and is on welfare, says she cant drive more then 3 miles because it hurts (another attempt at lawsuit) we think she is trying to get dissability. her boyfriend also doesn't work, uses excuse "I cant drive a manual" she put a restraining order on my boyfriend last yr admits it was just to get abused spouse $ and in that it says He only gets the kids age 10 and 8. 4 days a month unless mom arranges smthg else. If he fights do you think he can get full custody?
2006-10-23 23:36:03 · 11 answers · asked by mnm4213 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Usually the mother gets an unfair advantage in custody cases, but the best wy to find out is to consult a lawyer.
2006-10-23 23:39:05 · answer #1 · answered by huggz 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I served as CASA (court Appointed Special Advocate) in GA. Which meant I worked for the judge to find the best situtation for the child.
With that said I would suggest that YOU ( because you guys live together) and He take parental classes, also should a stable enviroment for the children, with stable jobs. And since she uses all her disability issues, you guys use them too in court. Say something like, with her disability we fear that if something where to happen to the children that she would not be able to drive them to safety, or carry them.. ..so forth He needs to fight the spousal abuse , that only makes it look worse on him. It will be looked at that if he abused his spouse he may abuse the children.
Secondly neither you or him say anything bad about the mother in front of the kids (this can be used against you) And don't speak ill to her in front of the kids. If any of you have a disagreement then it should all be handled where the kids can't see or hear, and dropped when the kids are around.
I would also find a attorney the believes in fighting for custody for the father (trust me there is a diffrence) Because if you find one that believes children should be with their mother then he/she will not fight as hard for you in court.
And lastly put forth a united front, meaning you and your boyfriend have to show that BOTH of you want the children, not just him. Show how much you care also, get to know his kids, and become their friend.
If you have any more questions feel free to ask me.
2006-10-24 07:04:13 · answer #2 · answered by catzbak1104 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he fights -- would that be best for the children? That is the ONLY question here -- what is best for the children? Four days a month is a woefully inadequate amount of time for any child to spend with EITHER one of his parents, even if the parent is not the best parent in the world. If she is not abusing the children, then they need to see their mother more than four days as well. I think he should go for shared custody. I believe you have to both live in the same school district for that to be agreed upon. He would have a better chance of getting that, and it wouldn't cost so much. A full-blown custody battle can wipe out your finances for many years to come. Get a lawyer, but one that can broker an agreement with the ex-wife.
2006-10-24 08:12:43 · answer #3 · answered by 70sChild 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your assumptions might in all counts be true but proving your allegations to be credible is another thing. sounds to me like the visitation schedule for the children is every other weekend----that would be Saturday Sunday 2x a month = 4 days.
Your boyfriend could petition the courts to modify the visitation schedule to be more liberal. #1 his child support should be current and no outstanding owed!. If the children live close enough maybe shared visitation should be established----Kids arrive on Friday nights after school---and DAD returns them to school on MONDAY a.m.----
Fighting for full custody is going to be expensive and chances are your boyfriend will loose----Take it to the modification of visitation route and it will be easier on the pocket book! It accomplishes the goal----in a round about way----When these children reach the ages of 13 or 14....a petition can be established by the child to present him/her to the court themselves and request living arrangments be changed. Sometimes the child just goes to DADs and refuses to go back home. All in all it is what is in the best interests of the child that is really important!
I've never heard of abused spouse $$$ from the court---that's a new one!
2006-10-24 06:51:01 · answer #4 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definitly get a good lawyer and fight like hell for those kids.I made that mistake 13 years ago,I lost my children...I have no contact with them now...You will have to stand by him on this decision and fight with him...Don't let the grass grow under your feet,he deserves to be involved more then just 4 days a month..It will get nasty beyond your beliefs ( I got a 2nd chance with my other x, now i have a say in how my daughter is being raised). Give it hell and don't give up,13 years goes by very fast...All the best..
2006-10-24 08:20:59 · answer #5 · answered by Frank D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes absoloutley she seems to be an unfit parent it seems like she does not want to work so therefore she has to make her money some other way. However you have to have proof that she is doing this do you have any records? If not then the judge is not going to take your word for it he or she will want to see some proof if your b/f talks to a lawyer and he or she agrees to take the case the investigator for the lawyer will probably be able to get the proof you need to claim her an unfit mother.Good luck and god bless.
2006-10-24 07:33:14 · answer #6 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can prove her unstable and dangerous to be around the kids or that she makes irrational decisions and could endanger the kids, yes. He should be getting more than 4 days a month unless he has done something wrong. I think you have a strong case....but if she is taking care of her kids properly, he should at least get fifty/fifty.....why isn't he?
2006-10-24 06:39:55 · answer #7 · answered by greeneyes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would all depend on proof....if you can prove she is a unfit mother with proof not just accusations you might have a shot!!! Wow this girl seems like a real winner dont blame you guys for wanting the kids out of there
2006-10-24 06:39:39 · answer #8 · answered by Justin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to seek legal advice as to what your options are.
But if your boyfriend and youself can provide a secure, stable, sound life for his children then I dont see why he wouldnt be in with a good chance, as the both of you are employed fulltime, which is a big plus!
2006-10-24 07:02:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since the kids are 10 and 8 years old, I would ask them if she is taking good care of them and treating them well. If they answer no to either question then I would get an attorney ASAP!
2006-10-24 08:06:35 · answer #10 · answered by Jane Smith 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋