I've been married for seven years to a guy I thought really wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. He has lied to me from day one about who he was, where he was from, even when he knew I knew he wasn't infact Kosovan but Albanian he still tried to make me believe otherwise. He has since admitted it - he had to think about his asylum case, didn't trust me ... I met him when I was 35 and told him if we didn't have children by the time I was 40 then I didn't want anymore (I have one son from previous relationship). Three months before his final asylum hearing I fell pregnant - we had been using withdrawal for 5 years successfully. I had no support while pregnant Three months after our baby was born I set him up - bought a sim card and sent him messages from an admirer - WHICH HE ANSWERED!!! While his expression didn't say so he said he knew it was me? All the love has gone and I'm turning into a suspicious angry woman ... I want him out but he's still claiming he loves me ??
2006-10-23 23:29:57 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hi, I would say to try to forget him and concentrate on building a solid happy future for you and your children, we do tend to latch on to people that have hurt us but you can move on.. I suggest when you find yourself thinking about him to only remember his negative qualities, and how bad he made you feel for lying etc...
Move on my friend, be strong and surround yourself with positive people, you definately deserve better.
2006-10-23 23:36:35 · answer #1 · answered by sonia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because he loves you doesn’t mean you should put up with all his lies, ok so you have a baby big deal there are a lot of people who are single parents. A relationship is supposed to be based on trust and how can you trust a liar? Get shot of him the sooner the better, it sounds like he only ever wanted a passport in the first place. I know I sound hash but you really need to take a good look at the situation and have a reality check.
2006-10-24 06:36:21 · answer #2 · answered by carla s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's an old tale this one. Told so many times across the centuries. Specifics alter but it makes old eyes grow tired. I suggest a holiday, in a different country, one where neither of you have been. Try to get to know each other again. Start all over. No questions. Just a newness. If you cannot make it to a different country try a beach somewhere. Camping, hotelling, anything. Find a nice wine. Massage each other whilst talking. If three days of hand holding & soul searching yeild naught, then draw a deep breath & jump into the void of a new life, if you can.
2006-10-24 06:40:34 · answer #3 · answered by waitingforsnow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sad, didn't you get told the withdrawal method does not work, a man dribbles almost continually before the climax.
This guy has obviously used you and is a liar of the first degree, get shut of him before he ruins your life completely.
Why oh why do English women always go for foreigners, you are better off with the same race living just around the corner, that way you should know him and his family.
With a foreigner you will never really know him or his family, they could be anything he wants them to be.
Move on, the time is right.
2006-10-24 06:41:35 · answer #4 · answered by tucksie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a complicated matter, as well as an emotional issue. I think you should seek out some professional counseling to help you sort out your thoughts and feelings about this marriage. It certainly will not be answered here on the internet. Now is the time to act on this matter and spare yourself many more years of misery.
2006-10-24 06:36:42 · answer #5 · answered by lavender2dream4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when the trust goes there's no going back.i feel really sorry for how this has all worked out for you.please don't hang on to memories.we all want to remember the good things in a relationship but it sounds like this one has changed you as a person.try to be strong and tell him you want nothing more to do with him.all i can say is good luck with whatever you decide.
2006-10-24 06:39:07 · answer #6 · answered by raymond m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at the end of the day you need to do what is best for you and your children try saying you need a break form one and other and then take it from there
good luck its not nice to be lied to it makes all the trust go and that is something that is hard to get back from
2006-10-24 06:36:50 · answer #7 · answered by paulette7618 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you only live once...so if you are not happy give him the elbow...if you don't time will fly by and ten or twenty years from now you will still be in an unhappy relationship...do something now while you are still young enough to start a new life without him....once a liar always a liar....life's to short to put up with any crap from any one....enjoy the rest of your life
2006-10-24 06:37:33 · answer #8 · answered by michael b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who cares what he says and how he feels. Do what makes you feel good. Do what is good for you and your children. You said yourself that all this guy has done is lie to you from day one so why all the dispare over him saying he still loves you?
2006-10-24 06:34:42 · answer #9 · answered by Captain Comment 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to a marriage counceller. See if he is willing to participate and if not, then give him the boot.
2006-10-24 06:32:49 · answer #10 · answered by Boscombe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋