My wife started grad. school. One week into the semester, she brought a friend home. We all went clubbing and all the time her friend, who was a bit drunk, kept on telling my wife and me how good a husband I was and how lucky my wife was.
As we reached home, she said she wanted to talk to me and we went down in the elevator. My wife went into our apartment. As the elevator closed, she started kissing me and I, who was also quite drunk kissed her back. We got a little passionate, however both realised it was wrong and so we got back home. My wife asked me what she wanted to talk about, and I said it was nothing, she was just very drunk.
The next day I called her and told her to forget what happened, and although I felt it was not my fault, I was sorry. We have met a few time afterwards with my wife along with me.
What should I do? I love my wife. Should I tell her? Also, I think her friend is very preety. Should I ask her what made her make a move on me??? I want to know.
2006-10-23 22:46:38 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Forgot to add. My wife does not really trust me with other women as I had a relation with another girl while we were dating. We worked things out then and we got married and I have been clean all this while. This is after 5 years that something happened again.
2006-10-23 22:54:11 · update #1
A good friend of my wife had once tried to kiss my wife. She told me about it and I try not to think about it. Although I don't talk to this guy any more. But I trust my wife.
Also, while we were dating, she had gone out of town with friends and her friends tell me another friend kissed her. She denies it and i believe her. She is still good friends with that guy.
2006-10-23 22:58:03 · update #2
Forgot to mention, my wife is not very understanding. When I told her that I was seeing another girl while we were dating, she told me never to see her again. She was a very good friend, however I have not seen her or talked to her since the day I told my wife. Never got a chance to clear things out with that girl.
2006-10-23 23:03:16 · update #3
Reading a lot of your answers makes me wonder, "Am I really that bad a guy?" "Should I not be trusted in relationships?"
2006-10-23 23:19:02 · update #4
Hey:
Personally I would tell her because the other woman might tell someone and it will be worse if ur wife hears about it! Tell her gently and say that you were not into it! Blame the other lady. women loves when the fault is the other woman!
And donot ask the friend it will only gave her a chance to flirt and make u interested in her, and believe me then you will lose your wife!
Please leave the matters with the friend untouched you are just inviting trouble, if you are drunk or not you are supposed to have your good judgement and she didnot, so stay away! Neither did you but men are born weak in the flesh!What matters is that you love your wife and admits you are wrong.
Ps:
Not every attractive person we see we should flirt! We know they are attractive but we can only acknowledge that and just feast our eyes when we are married , never let the heart or body act on our lustful desires!
Good luck and hope you make the right choice, but pls tell her, a woman like that will only hate u if she finds out coz she will be heartbroken! She loves u too much!
Love SANAM
2006-10-24 00:49:03 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, don't ask the friend why she made a move on you! Just drop it with her! If you are around her, don't give her any signals that you think she's pretty. You two were drunk, you kissed, forget it. But be sure you don't let yourself be alone with any other women ever again, since you obviously can't control yourself.
As far as telling your wife? That's up to you. If you do tell her, with your history, don't be surprised if she dumps you. Sounds like she has good reason not to trust you. You don't sound like very good marriage material to me.
Whatever you do, grow up, and if you stay together, be the husband she hopes you are.
2006-10-23 23:11:28 · answer #2 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not a bad person. Drinking just seems to create these incidents. If you were a bad person, you wouldn't even be worrying about this.
You don't have to tell your wife. In time you will forget, and the strain on your marrage will be huge. There will be resentment and it will become a problem.
On the other hand, if you are still thinking about this alot, maybe there is more to it. It dosen't sound like an ideal partnership between you guys ... maybe that needs to be spoken about.
2006-10-23 23:25:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you not have anything better to do then to tell your every detail of your life that she is really not going to want to know. You have such a boring life that all you can think of is telling your wife because if that's the case then tell her and I guarantee your life won't be boring and you will have something to do after that like find a new wife to keep you busy. Dude go out and find a second job or get a pet or a new car damn get real.
2006-10-23 22:57:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can do one of two things:
1. If your wife is a very understanding person then I would advice you to tell her the truth. Better tell her now, then later.
2. If however she is not that understanding, then dont tell her. All you could then do is hope and pray that no one tells her...THE FRIEND- who isnt really a friend if she would sink that low.
And if you love your wife half as much as you say you do, then stop wonderimg as to why her friend made a move on you. And dont ever do such a thing ever again....oh, and alcohol is really no excuse. I consider that as the lamest excuse.
2006-10-23 22:57:39 · answer #5 · answered by Raina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all don't try to find out why the friend kissed -it might just happen again if you find out why.
Secondly don't tell your wife -not yet anyway!
If it happened just that once then don't tell her - her friend was drunk and so were you.However, if it happened or happens again and you are sobber, then YES tell your wife about it!
2006-10-23 22:53:22 · answer #6 · answered by Bianca A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-01 01:51:47 · answer #7 · answered by polka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your relationship is strong and you love her definately tell her, it might hurt her, but think logical , how much of a true friend is she to your wife that she would even approach you, there is dishonesty in her blood, beware, as far as blame, it is both your faults, she acted, you reacted that simple.
i think it will be worse if your wife would find out some other way other then you, then she might not believe what you have to say...coming from you is best...and if you want to keep your relationship, i'd remove the friend from the situation... you did see fatal attraction???
2006-10-23 22:58:14 · answer #8 · answered by donttalkjustplay05 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't make a big deal out of this kiss, it was a mistake and best forgotten. If you tell your wife it could cause all unnecessary hassles for everyone, just forget it and enjoy the relationship you have with your wife now
2006-10-23 23:04:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is the best policy. Though your wife may be very upset at first, I think it would be a lot worse if she found out some other way. If you were drunk and really didn't mean it, you should tell your wife. If she finds out some other way, your wife may think that if meant a lot to you... I think you should tell her!
2006-10-23 22:51:35 · answer #10 · answered by beccysan 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋