Let me state from the onset that my wife is a decent & respectable lady which was why i got attracted to her in the first place... and we're now five months married. One month ago, i was sent by my company on a business trip, & i have just came back from that trip the other day. You can just imagine how much i missed her, & after we made love fro the first time after my absence, she confessed that she made a big mistake of letting one of her male friends have his way on her. She's crying the whole time she's confessing, admitting that she feels so guilty wtih what happened, & she asked for my forgiveness. I was devastated, yet my love & respect for her somehow prevailed. I was also crying due to the pain she has caused me. What must i do? How can i cope with this situation? Her friend, who also begged for my forgiveness yesterday, is now a regular visitor in the house. I'm not comfortable abt all this at all. I think he thinks he owns my wife now that he has impregnated her.Pls advise.
2006-10-23 21:45:50 · 13 answers · asked by lionel e 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First I would get a paternity test to make sure that she is not lying. Find out if she wants an abortion or if shes willing to cut off all means of communication with the guy and if you are too. If she cannot cut him off and work things out with you, forget it, lose her. If she does this one more time, lose her. But I would say if you want you should give her another chance and try to forgive her but you both would have to cut off her friend for good for this to work. If she is going to keep the baby then have chidl support and custody issues settled in court. It is not fair to your marriage for her to keep seeing him.
If she is not willing to do any of this or completely all of it, FORGET HER, its not worth it!
2006-10-23 21:54:19 · answer #1 · answered by buterflikizes20 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ONLY 5 months married and she let this happen?! A "decent and respectable woman" would have at least used a condom so she didn't hurt her husband in such a selfish and devastating manner.
An annulment may be in order because this is a REALLY bad way to start a marriage... or a family.
I doubt that this situation will get any better for you as time passes, so you really have to THINK this through.
You may still feel the love now, but the respect and trust are damaged...it will be more obvious when the anger and resentment kick in down the line.
She is an idiot and you are a fool to let this man hang around now. If she wanted to repair the damage done, then she wouldn't compound it with his presence...in your face no less! How appalling!
Methinks she should bear the burden of this soon to be dysfunctional family by you leaving them to their own devices. Make her "friend" be responsible for his child. It is not your responsibility and your life shouldn't get ruined because of her callous infidelity.
I feel for ya'! It is a sad, sad situation sir.
2006-10-23 22:34:02 · answer #2 · answered by ladyquesteur 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a divorce. While your husband is away you have unprotected sex, get pregnant and have the man over to the house on a regular basis? How sick is that and what is wrong with you for putting up with something like that? When a person who is married has intercourse with another person, that is bad enough, when they have unprotected intercourse, that's pushing it, but when they have unprotected intercourse outside of the marriage and she gets pregnant, there is no turning back. I don't think you will be able to ever move on because no matter how much you love your wife, the images of her with another man never go away in your head, they just keep playing. Every time you look at the child the two of them created, you'll be reminded that he had his way with your wife, and she let him,whether you want to think of iit or not. You began by saying that your wife is a respectable lady, well, what lady does that to her loving husband, and then rubs his face in it by having her lover come to the house? Not too respectable anymore is she? Move on to someone who will love your for you and won't cheat on you while you are away making a living for the family. Good luck!
2006-10-24 02:52:43 · answer #3 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down all three of you and talk about the future. Does this man plan on raising this child as his own or is he willing to sign over adoption papers.
Be prepared that he may want to be a part of this childs life and has every right to do so. How will you handle that? You need to think of the future and if she is really worth going through all of the pain associated with bearing a child from another man.
Have you told her you are uncomfortable with him being around? She is your wife and shouldn't disrespect you that way.
If I were you, I;d pack my bags and leave ASAP. Its a bad situation.
2006-10-23 21:50:29 · answer #4 · answered by BlondeBarbie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you're the decent one, my friend. There are many men in your situation who would say that her behaviour was completely unforgivable, especially given how soon her infidelity happened after the wedding. Honestly, if I were you, I would think very carefully about whether you want to stay with your wife under the circumstances, especially if her male friend plans to be ever present, now that he is the father of her child. As painful as it may seem, perhaps you two are not meant to be together. Perhaps she doesn't love you as much as you thought she did. Perhaps she is more in love with her male friend, or perhaps she doesn't really understand what love is at all. I wish you the best of luck, my friend.
2006-10-23 21:59:51 · answer #5 · answered by Perplexed Music Lover 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of I'm glad to hear that you are a good man and had the heart to forgive her for that hurt.I'm just curious of why you feel sorry for a woman who cheated on you?To tell you the truth someone who loves you is loyal no matter what come on its only been 5 months since you married she don't seem like a decent lady to me.
2006-10-23 21:51:52 · answer #6 · answered by dodgerchik 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ure either naive or blind. so she cries , everybody does, i do too. if shes truly sorry , why is the asshole still coming arouund. i think its in order to say that the choice is ur wifes to make. she shd either do a d/c and remain with u or keep the baby and go with its father. its just unfortunate that ur marriage is so youngbut tough decisions have 2 be made. ur wife shd want wat u want for this 2 work or else she'll only wait for u 2 travel again and find a new guy or sleep with the old one . be smart is all im saying
2006-10-23 22:11:26 · answer #7 · answered by silkyluv17 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really do think that you are taking all this lying down pal! Any real man would have taken this turd and bounced him off every wall you could find! And your so called wife! Well! She would not be in my house after that! she'd be on the streets where she belongs! And turdie! he would be in the hospital having facial reconstruction about now!!!!!! Wake up to your self man! your weak attitude is the very reason they have taken advantage of you! Throw the b####ch out!!!!!
2006-10-23 22:07:38 · answer #8 · answered by wheeliebin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
KICK HER OUT, how long have you been married 5 months?! And after she hurt you she stll allows this other man to come into your house....she is showing absolutely no respect for you. if you ask me she is rubbing it your face. You dont always have to be the nice guy. If you stay together this other man will always be in your life because he is the other parent. look into the future.....it wont last and you dont deserve to be used by them. Dont worry about her feelings anymore, she wasn't thinking of yours when she F**ED this man and she still isn't....otherwise he wouldn't be at your house. she shouldn't even be talking to him anymore if she wanted to prove how truly sorry she was and that she wouldn't do it again. your being played.
2006-10-23 22:30:06 · answer #9 · answered by mnm4213 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you ever talked on your spouse with reference to the type you experience? provide her yet another threat to be the lady you fell in love with. She is going via a frustrating time raising 3 toddlers AND a clean one on the way. each mom is worried approximately their toddlers and gets over protecting, so it could look somewhat obsessive. in case you do provide her yet another threat then attempt and re-stay the previous days which you enjoyed lots together with her. of path intercourse is the final factor she is thinking of while she is raising youngsters and has yet another one coming. Her recommendations may be set on raising youngsters. you would be able to desire to assist her. truly attempt and make it artwork. I have no ideas the type you need to flow away her. yet while after truly attempting to make it artwork together with her, and it would not, then it may be a solid factor to flow away her, yet DO IT gently. a minimum of clarify to her why. additionally, i'm no expert, so wait for some greater solutions and then come to a end...
2016-10-02 21:47:25 · answer #10 · answered by gangwer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋