I am worried I am loosing him.?

Question

I am not sure what should I do? My boyfriend told me that he is under a lot of stress and pressure from his work. He does not like his job, he does not get on with his boss very much, he has got to find a new job before his apartment agreement runs out in December. He is looking for a job near my city, which for him is a different country. He told me the other day that he is sorry for me but he just asks for one thing and that is understanding and comprehension and he asked for patience. But I have not been dealing very well with him being distant with me. He is cold and distant when he speaks to me and if I tell him that he gets upset with me and tells me that I do not understand him and I do not support him and he says this is the last thing he needs now to worry about me as well. What should I do? I am worried I am loosing him.

Answer 1

I would give him time to resolve all his issues. If he wants to talk, let him call you. He shouldn't be cold and distant to you nor should he get upset and say you don't understand him or support him. If you lose him, then it's meant to be but he obviously wants to be left alone now so do it and let him come to you.

Answer 2

There are some men, who just don't like being asked anything, or seem to like taking everything on their shoulders and not talking about things with there partner, or asking what they should do, why is he sorry for you..that sounds strange. I think that its a male thing, they seem to think they should be macho, and deal with everything, and not worry you, i understand how you are feeling, you are feeling helpless, and wondering what you can do to help, but every time you try, you get totally nowhere, maybe if you give him a bit of space, he will come right, or sit him down and tell exactly now you feel.........whether he likes it or not, he needs to know you are worried about losing him.............a problem shared, is a problem halved, hope all will work out okay for good luck and god bless.

Answer 3

he is moving closer to you rite?.. get off his back! .. tell him you will help him find a job if he wants.. if not just leave him alone give him some space. men are different to women just because he is not telling you how he is feeling doesn't mean you are loosing him .. he is moving jobs and countries and take it from someone who has been there done that to be with someone it is a hard and a worrying time.. and the last thing he needs is for you to be crowding him .. give him support and space and he will come around once he is settled in..

Answer 4

This is difficult to decide from just this viewpoint. First of all, he may be sincere about this and really has to much to deal with at the moment. Then, it also could be he is separating himself, but in a more gentle way. It may be difficult, but if you keep from getting reactive you might be able to see how he really feels about your relationship. A person can surely feel when someone is not the same, and withdraws their kindness and respect. Either way, it will be best for you to know the truth.

Answer 5

Help him look for a new job near you and if he can't move in with you, keep a lookout for nice apartments. Maybe if he see that you are supporting him (because most of the time they don't see that) he will feel better as well. I won't dump him, it will just make him feel worst. I think once he gets a nice job, everything will be fine between you!

Answer 6

he's told you exactly what's going on with him and asked you to do something for him. if you are so wrapped up in your needs and insecurities that you can't be there for him then you won't be able to make things work. it's unfair for him to expect you to be perfect and not have your own issues and problems but perhaps there is someone else you can lean on until he can get his stuff sorted? he doesn't want to lose you either but is worried that you will leave him when he can't be the man you need right now. try to find other ways to cope with his distance and remember that this is temporary. life is always changing and people need space. your needs are about something inside you that only you can deal with..another person cannot fill the emptiness. keep yourself busy so you don't have time to pine and use this period to make yourself fit and healthy so you can cope and he won't worry about you. sounds like he really loves you and trusts you. don't throw it away by panicking and clinging to him when he's not strong. good luck to you both. me and my fella went through something similar and we are so close now..

Answer 7

However stressed he is he still should be able to be nice to you! I always go by the 'it's not what he says, it's what he does' school of thought!

Sounds to me like he wants to keep you hanging on in case he wants you in the end, but can't really be bothered with you at the moment.

You could suggest you break up. After all at the moment you live in different countries which is hardly conducive to a good relationship.

Answer 8

I feel like you should talk to him about your concerns. Explain to him that his situation is not easy for you either. If he is being cold toward you telling you he needs time if it were me I would give him the space and time he is asking for. But, I would let it be known that I would not wait forever. I understand that he is going through something right now but the hole point to a relationship is working through it together as a couple. I'm afraid he may be on someother bull. I know that when one of my ex was going through a simular situation he asked for time and I gave it to him but as it turned out he really wanted time to go play someplace else. (if you know what I mean, think)

Answer 9

I would just take a back seat. Let him sort himself out. All you need to say now is ok babe im taking a back seat i will let you sort yourself out, all you need to know is that i am here for you no matter what...... Act normal and then change subject. talk about normal things dont sound sad, sound happy. If you give him any pressure about your relationship you might aswell expect him to end the relationship men dont like pressure. hope this helps

Answer 10

men go into their shells when they are worried not like women who like to talk the situation through. Decide how much time and space you want to give him. If you love him and want to accept the difficulty because the good times are worth it then give him his space. Listen when he talks to you about it and dont nag about him acting weird. When you have had enough of his behavour or feel that it has gone on for too long get out - your not married. Just remember bothering him will not help your situation.