My roommate sleeps with about twelve girls a week. He degrades girls behind their backs and has more one night stands than our entire dorm floor combined, which is about sixty people give or take.
He cries over this one girl who he said he will, not wants to, will marry, even if he has to force it into her. She backed out and now he is moving onto another girl and is saying the same thing. He didn't do any forcing, which I am somewhat grateful for, but he is slowly becoming less rational and more...for a lack of better words, evil.
He is a good kid and I'd hate to see him hurt himself or anyone around him, but he says he MUST get married by 23 and the purpose of life is to make money. I'm not saying this is wrong or anything, but he is kind of hurting his now would-be-maybe bride-to-be.
I met this girl and she's actually very sweet, but should I interfere or do nothing?
Any reply would be nice, no matter how degrading or objective they may be, I really just want some guidance.
2006-10-23 19:53:37 · 11 answers · asked by ozarugold51 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
He just beat her. He threw her on the ground and choked her. They haven't told anyone [parents, adults, etc], but he has told me that he did.
I didn't even have a chance to make a decision.
New question now, should I turn him in or watch both of them suffer?
2006-10-24 16:36:19 · update #1
Do not pay any attention to people who says NOT to interfere. You need to interfere and help do something. When we see things like this going on no matter what it is and who it is it is our right to help out in whatever way we can. You need to do what YOU feel is the right thing.
2006-10-23 20:03:55 · answer #1 · answered by sammy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Answering the 'new question' --
Sweet girl? Go talk to _her_ before doing anything.
She may have told people. She may not have. Either way, she would probably (hopefully...) appreciate somebody rational she could talk about it with. She's undoubtedly feeling more than humiliated by her involvement with somebody so unstable.
Must get married by 23; purpose of life is to make money -- he's set up a nasty life for himself. Forget worrying about him for the moment; I think your interference here, which is justified, is with her (and with looking for a new person to split the rent with).
For whatever reason, it's just hit me that schizophrenia, if it's going to show up, will -- I think -- often show up in a person's early 20s. It sounds dark enough to tell somebody about, but the police aren't necessarily the people you want to talk to right off if that's the case. If you go to the same school, is there a student 'health services' you could go to for advice? Guessing, here, that you have more to say re. 'evil.'
I'd tell her the details -- kindly, over a beer -- of everything he's said about "he will, not wants to, will marry, even if he has to force it," and then help her look in to at least changing phone numbers and e-mail addresses. Any contact between the two of them should be out of the question; it invariably, unarguably, _encourages_ possessive/stalking behaviour, no matter how negative the contact.
If she's inclined to brush it off, and he's still unstable, _then_ you're really going to have to think about telling other people. If she has a half-decent relationship with her parents, they might be the people to start with, especially if it comes to stuff like needing money to move.
-- kmennie at yahoo dot com
2006-10-25 21:36:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am a domestic violence counselor. My clientel are mostly abusive men. One of the most common behaviors is a strong need for commitment and fast. Abuse does not mean he has to hit her. Abuse can be verbal, emotional, physical, demanding all her attention, making all the decisions, any thing that is used to control or manipulate another is abusive, including intimidation. Say something, do something. Would you want to see a man treat your mother, sister, daughter like that? If the answer is no than do something. Note-under every question or answer on this page it says REPORT ABUSE.
2006-10-24 03:19:07 · answer #3 · answered by Lady T. 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you consider yourself to be a very good friend, then you can safely talk with him and advise him to stop his reckless behavior. If you only consider him as a roommate, you should make arrangements to either ask him to move out, or move out yourself. I would probably suggest talking to him about his behavior right before you or he moves out. That way you are safe and won't escalate the problem. I think you are a very caring person for showing concern about this person, and not just because he is your roommate.
2006-10-24 03:10:45 · answer #4 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
And he never invited you for a menage a trois' ? How dare he. But teach that girl some self-defense moves and teach her to kick his butt back. Hire a hit man to scare him from beating women up.
2006-10-27 11:17:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
not sure what to tell you even though it's none of your business it's hard to watch someone get hurt who doesnt deserve it. if you don't value his friendship then you should tell her what you know but exect to lose his friendship in response to this action. but if he's a good friend stay out of it. keep in mind though... there has to be a hidden reason (pschological) for why he behaves the way he does.
2006-10-24 02:59:49 · answer #6 · answered by ccdavis01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, interfere. You should tell your friend to tell this 'sweet' gal that he is delusional and highly unlikely to make her happy. If he doesnt do it...tell him that you will. Good luck.
2006-10-24 03:00:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you don't do something, and then something happens to the girl, or your friend, how would that make you feel?
2006-10-24 02:56:29 · answer #8 · answered by mac_byaah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u must learn to mind ur own business
2006-10-24 08:25:06 · answer #9 · answered by honey bear 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
he is a wack job....save all the girls you can from him
2006-10-24 03:13:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋