The hospital that I'll be delivering at has an OB tour 2X a month. For the past 2 months my bf has found a way out of the tour at the last minute. Finally tonight he had no excuse & I was going to go whether or not he did. He came but was upset. We get outside the meeting room & he tells me that he is so mad at me b/c he doesn't understand why I want to go to this & it's going to be a waste of time. There isn't anything that I need to know or find out that will change anything on the delivery day. I ask if we could please continue the conversation outside in private. He tells me that he has already been through this & there is nothing that I'm going to learn & that I'll end up mad b/c it'll be a waste of time. I'm hurt b/c I figured he could of just went along w/ it all, for me. I couldn't help it and I started to cry. That made him more upset. I decided I wanted to go home b/c I didn't feel comfortable being there w/ him so mad at me. Do you think I'm wrong for feeling the way I do?
2006-10-23 19:39:46 · 15 answers · asked by Danielle K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
RUN!
2006-10-23 19:41:13 · answer #1 · answered by ~moon~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No...you are never "wrong" for feeling any way that you feel.
You are hurt. And rightly so. This is your first child so I'm sure you want to experience everything, as this all very new for you. Although your bf "has been through this before" He obviously isn't being very supportive of your feelings.
The best advice I can give is to tell him exactly what you expect and want from him in regards to your pregnancy and birthing experience. He may not be aware how important it is to you to have the "full" experience. Also perhaps you need to have a conversation on what you expect in the delivery room and after giving birth. All too often we end up not getting what we want or need because we expect the other person to automatically know.
So be very specific about your needs. If then he chooses to do the opposite knowing how you feel...Then its time to re evaluate your relationship and your expectations for the future.
2006-10-23 19:48:20 · answer #2 · answered by Steph 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is absolutely wrong. He shouldn't treat you that way pregnant or not. I work at a hospital and have filled in on the OB unit a few times. The nurses tell me that that patients that do the best are the ones who prepare by visiting the unit and taking the classes. If touring the facilities makes you feel better about giving birth he should be happy to be with you.
2006-10-23 19:46:14 · answer #3 · answered by LuvGrapes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is definitely the jerk. He was not at all sensitive to your feelings This is your first baby and there was definitely a reason for you to go. That said ,he already knew what ot expect and thats fine but if he felt that strongly he shouldve been honest from the beginning instead of making excuses not to go. Unfortunately some men just are not interested inthe whole birth process and if he is one of these men you cannot change that detail.however if he is like this when it comes to alot of other things I would reevaluate this relationship because it is not a healthy situation for you. And It will just get worse after the baby comes. Congratulations on your new baby and good luck with whatever you decide
2006-10-23 19:52:56 · answer #4 · answered by Michelle F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think because he has already had Kid's with another woman hes not being supportive.So he's had the big moment of watching birth happen,a baby eyes open to the world.A baby first real breathe etc.Futhermore he probally just dosen't want to do a walkthrough because hes already done 2.For you I FEEL sorry for,this like your first shot,and a great memory,nd dont let anybody ruin for you.It will be etched in your memory for years to come,when he has knocked somebody else up..
2006-10-23 19:46:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HE'S A JERK!!!!! So what if he's been through this before, you haven't! My biggest problem is, if he can't even support you in the smallest thing like a short tour, then what is he going to be like as a father. He sounds selfish and irrational!! I would have punched him and continued on my own, cos unfortunately it sounds like you'll be doing most of this on your own, cos it's a waste of his precious time! He is definately a Jerk!!!
2006-10-23 19:44:15 · answer #6 · answered by Miss Suki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
37 weeks pregnant and not married...you are both jerks! But back to the point, sounds like you wrangled this guy back into parenthood and he is an unsupportive partner...next year you'll be whining about how he's always working or out with the boys and won't help with the housework...go figger! Another oops child born to morons.
2006-10-23 19:49:17 · answer #7 · answered by ladyquesteur 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! You are not wrong for feeling this way. And don't let him make you feel otherwise. He is being very self-centered about this issue, and needs to learn to cater to your needs without putting himself in the center. If he truly believes it is a waste of his time, then he needs to work on making it worthwhile, whatever that may take.
2006-10-23 19:56:04 · answer #8 · answered by kutingtingting 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FRom a man who has been their done that.
Your bf is a jerk,he does not respect you or does he care about you in the least. It does not matter that he has been through this because he has not been through this with you and it should be special to you both.
You cried because it does hurt that he is so not caring about your feelings. He just want the tang he does not care about you or the baby in reality. actions speak louder than words
2006-10-23 19:54:11 · answer #9 · answered by RENO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The man is a PIG. When the baby comes get away from him as soon as possible. I am sorry but the sooner you admit your boyfriend is a jerk the sooner you and the baby can start a new life.
2006-10-23 19:43:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like his heart is not into the whole baby thing. Why doesn't he marry you? Why doesn't he support your hospital tour? It was very important to you, and he should have been happy to go with you. A warning I think.
2006-10-23 19:44:22 · answer #11 · answered by winkcat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋