Ok so ive been with my fiance for 7yrs now (engaged for 1). I want to have a baby and my fiance doesnt. Im 21 and he is 20...I have told him time and time again but he just says that we are too young and that we are not ready and that i just think that i am...It drives me nuts when he says this! I dont know what to do, everytime i get near a baby i just want to hold it, play with it and all that good stuff! I dont quite believe that my fiance isnt ready..i think its just that he is scared of change and he is also a big baby! I think he thinks that i wont do as much for him or give him enough attention if we have a baby.We both have good jobs and we have an apartment together so were pretty much stable. I am soo ready for a baby but what can i say to him? What can i do? Any suggestions?
2006-10-23 19:39:45 · 8 answers · asked by Lost 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I agree with most other posts....I would wait until you are a little older. Babies mean big responsibilities and I think it's better to wait until your mid-twenties. I had my daughter at 26 and my son at 29. I think this age is perfect. I had all those early twenties to have fun and just worry about myself and what I was to do on Friday nights. I think it's good to get that out of your system before you have kids. I see too many people who have kids too early and then they are frustrated when they realize that things are so different after having children. You can no longer jump in the car and go to the store, let alone go out with friends. Everything changes. Don't get me wrong, it's the best change in the world....but only when you are ready for that change. Try to spend some time with other babies. Do you have family or friends with new babies? It's always good to have some experience under your belt. If I were you I wouldn't worry about it for a few more years. Hopefully by then your fiance will have changed his mind. Good luck!
2006-10-26 17:56:43 · answer #1 · answered by Sunny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First go find out from your doctor that you can have children before you get all wound up. Then, when that question is put at ease...consider whether or not your fiance is capable of you being a stay at home parent if you are to have a child. Enjoy your youth for a bit and your new marriage. Sure would be a lot nicer to establish a good 'married' relationship before you invite children into the equation just because youre pining away for changing diapers. He's not ready. If you have a child when he's not ready...you'll lose your spouse and your marriage and then where will you and your child be? Baby food for thought!! Happy nuptuals!
2006-10-23 19:55:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is right. You wont do as much for him or give him as much attention. You will be focused on the baby. And having babies is not always all that good stuff. Actually a lot of it is not good at all including the sleep deprevation, the crying for hours at a time, the crappy diapers, and a million other things. You probably wont work during and after pregnancy so there is one income gone and babies cost a lot. You are in love with the idea of a baby...the reality is a lot different. See if you can 'borrow' someones baby for the weekend and give it a whirl...then you can see what it's really like. You are too young to be tied down like that...enjoy yourself while you are young. Trust me there is plenty of time for babies later. And besides all of this....HE isnt ready and you cant MAKE or argue him into it and you shouldnt have to. It should be a joint decision as it affects both of your lives.
2006-10-23 19:49:21 · answer #3 · answered by dragonrider707 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend, I am in a somewhat similar situation. I am 21, have been dating my fiancee for 7 years, engaged for 1 year, and am getting married in January. I want a child more than anything else on this earth, however, he is not ready. This means that if you care about him, neither of you are ready. Do you really want to bring a child into this world with one of the parents not wanting it?
My personal reason for wanting a child so badly is that I have had one. She died when she was 2 months old from SIDS. Nothing and no one will ever replace her, but it will heal a place in my heart when I am able to focus my love and attention on another.
However, my husband to be is not ready. Therefore, because I love him and want what is best for my child, we will wait.
2006-10-23 21:35:11 · answer #4 · answered by alice27 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys are 20 and 21. Children is a big decision. I'd worry about this problem when you are 30 and 31 and having the same discussion.
For now? Go where the "love" takes you.
2006-10-23 19:42:35 · answer #5 · answered by Kenn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's a guy... he's never going to be ready... and he will think he's loosing the center of attention... because he is.... and he is a big baby.... but what do I know... I'm just a lonely husband sitting on the computer while the wife and two kids are sleeping..... it's the only peace time I get....
2006-10-23 19:42:42 · answer #6 · answered by pro_steering_wheel_holder 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is right, you and he are too young to be parents. Wait another 5 years.
2006-10-24 06:28:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just seduce him, or accept that hes not ready
2006-10-23 19:43:52 · answer #8 · answered by S--slick 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋