Someone Help Me !?

Question

Well I been having lots of trouble with my husband, he's been very controling and demanding. we have a babygirl that she is turning 1 in one week, but since sept 3 , i left my husband because i couldn't stay with him because the abuse, so i left him , and now i'm staying with my parents with my kids. The thing after i left him he went to filed divorce, I didn't know intil i got served, so now i'm going thru courts stuff and is making nervous because all the violence, people are telling me he might get share custody with me. and i don't agree because he NEVER taking care of his daughter during the marriage i felt i was a single mother because he wasnt there for me. all he did was abuse me alot, i do have a attorny they say they going to help me fight this case, but i'm still worried. I went to mentation today and well things didn't go good, he wants share custody and the menditor did tell him, to start off with visitation to get into PARENTING CLASSES he disagree.

So he disagree and told them he doesn't need parenting classes and he didnt even want my terms of my parenting outlines either. So at the sametime he is claiming he wants our daughter full time but hasn't done nothing . he hasn't give me child support or nothing . he hasn't kept in touch with me either, and he took the suv i was driving . but in the meanwhile he has 3 CARS and he left me without nothing. and lock the apartment with new locks so i can't get , to get my rest of my stuff.. People do tell me that he doesn't care about this baby, that what he is doing is.. wants to make he suffer and feel bad..
So my question is WHY he might be doing all this stuff to me.. Are there really man out there like this and i'm worried he is going to get custody .. help ??

Answer 1

first : any court of law does not favor a drunkard.
second : prove in court that he is irresponsible towards you and kid.
third : prove his nonsense he doing with you.
fifth : if you have guts report to the police and take protection . File FIR with police.
sixth : make him feel that you strong and not a cowherd and a scary person.
seventh : he knows that you are of mild nature and soft cornered.
eigth : give him this blow and he will get straight.
ninth : custody will be with you till he proves the court of his good character and responsible behavior.

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Answer 2

You have to stay strong for the sake of your child. That means following the advice of your lawyer AND being very insistant about the abuse. Yes many men are like that. Ususally the Courts are careful about custody and put the child's interests first. So it will be important for you to tell them how little he did with hs daughter during the marriage. I have an idea: write a journal, thinking back to everything he did to you, all the times he ignored the child, all the things you did taht he did not, and keep writing everything down. You may need it some day.
The MEDIATOR makes a recommendation to the Judge who often listens to the MEDIATOR. IF he is refusing to go to Parenting classes, your lawyers must make a big deal about that because the JUDGE will not like to hear that he is refuding and that will work against the father.

No matter what happend, it is very normal to worrywhen you in divorce situation. Just keep your cool head and dont do anyhing without checking with your attorneys first. There JOB is to help you and they have to take good care of you.

If you can say what State you live in, that helps the people who answer you to know what the laws are from your State.

PS> EDUCATE YOURSELF so you can be more understanding of your attorneys and more assertive:
http://www.divorcesource.com
http://www.divorcenet.com
http://www.privatecourts.com

Answer 3

if the mediator has suggested to your ex to enroll in parenting classes and he refused, there must be a legit reason why that was recommended. I would bring that up to your attorney..Do you have anything in writing, like a police report. A deposition from a neighbor or relative or friend who has seen the abuse you are speaking of. Does he have a drinking or drug problem. Has he ever been arrested previously for aggressive behavior. Ask your attorney if when you all are in the same room if that can be video taped, I am sure your ex will show his true colors in front of everyone if that was done. When he is asked permission to film all interviews, and right there you will have some evidence towards your advantage. I would also file a restraining order, and do what ever it takes to keep your kids with you. Not all men are dead beat dad's or abusive, some are better parents than the mothers, but when a man IS abusive, to me it isn't safe, for you or the kids. Hope things work out for you sincerely. Life is hard enough to go through it stressed to the limit all the time..

Answer 4

It's like hearing my own story. I am so sorry that you are forced to deal with all of this. For me, when the judge realized that I was doing EVERYTHING and he was not, and when the judge realized that I was requesting valid and reasonable classes that he was refusing, I received full physical and full legal custody. My ex isn't even allowed to have unsupervised visits. As far as the abuse goes, you might have heard that if there is not police report to verify abuse you are out of luck. This is NOT true. If there have ever been any witnesses, either seeing the abuse take place or seeing bruises or the like, they can write letters to the court signed under penalty of perjury and they will be taken seriously. If you do not have a lawyer, get one. And I would suggest getting one that is seriously ruthless. Don't feel bad for him because I can promise you, he doesn't feel bad for you. Take care, and good luck.

Answer 5

Some men are like that and some are not.
Those who seek to make a woman suffer have the lowest ego's and loudest opinions.
The agencies who work in the area of custody are wide awake to these types, so dont worry, dont resist. He will very quickly expose his selfish,cruel nature without your input.
Good on you for making the break. It shows your inner strength.
Court rules. Unless you are a drugged out hooker, girls belong with mothers.
Now..when you look for that other type of man to become a good model for your daughter, think about what you should have noticed in your ex that would have told you what to expect.
Work out how you went wrong and change that about yourself. You can never be the same person you were because life experiences bring about character, however you can choose to view every negative thing about what is happening in a new and positive way.....and I believe you are already beginning to do just that.
Go gently
Best wishes

Answer 6

If he continues to disagree with the court mediator, he has less chance of getting custody. Just be strong, let the courts see you are willing to do what is best for your child. If the mediator makes a suggestion to you. Follow it. Let him/her know why you are concerned. I'm sure the mediator will see the anger in your husband. Remember, as hard as it may be right now.... Stay Strong for the sake of your kids. Don't break down in front of the courts, You can do that at night when your alone.

Take Care & Good luck!!!

Answer 7

Please don't worry, I don't think there's much chance that this nasty man will get joint custody, be prepared for some tough times in court, however it is vital that you stay calm, no doubt your husband will slip up and show his true self. He will probably be awarded access, maybe at your home, in this instance it is essential that you put all adverse feelings you may have towards him to one side and make sure your children NEVER hear you or anyone else running him down - not for any reason, you'll probably find this difficult on some occasions, however for the sake of the children it really is extremely important. Please try to be strong and I am sure all will turn out well.

Answer 8

Most of the time if the court wants the person to take parenting classes , then he has to take them. Stress to the court how you feel for her safety. Who knows ... maybe this guy will straighten up and fly right. Has he ever been abusive to the kids ?

Answer 9

This is a number one world problem in marriage and relationships make sure your lawyer is very good but unless your ex has a serious criminal back ground the judge will decide most probably equal custody.

Answer 10

I hope you have a good divorce attny. That's VERY important to your case. Supply him with all the info, including proof that you have available. Did you ever take out a restraining order against him? That would be very helpful to your abuse.