Family Issue, I feel lonely.?

Question

Hello. I have yet another question about family issues. Well today, my grandpa (father's father) unfortunately died, and my dad was so close to him. When I heard the news, I cried a little, and then tried not to think about it. As I started to feel better, I saw my father, and seemed to be unstable and clumsy. I soon realized he was intoxicated, and severely. He had car keys in his hands, and was about to go drive in these conditions. I was trying to stop him, and my uncle had to literally sit on him to keep him down. My mother called the police, and they had to stop him from doing anything crazy, like driving. The police told him to work it out in the morning, when he was no longer intoxicated.

It was such a crazy night, and it has gotten me all worked up and worried. I feel very lonely about this, and I need some answers and suggestions on what to do. I think I should just relax and try not to think about it, but I'd like some second opinions. Thanks a lot guys.

Answer 1

Aww im really sorry about this. It is really hard losing someone we love no matter how old we are and they are. I feel for all of you. I think you do need to relax maybe call some of your friends up and talk to them or some of your family if your close to them. I am sure you dad will do better in the passing days.

Answer 2

Your grandpa's loss is really a big blow for your family. I'm sorry about that. What you feel right now is gloom and pity for the emptiness you feel for your grandpa's passing away and your father's great anguish respectively.

I'm sure that your father would understand why he was prohibited from driving when he was really intoxicated. What you can do now is to support your father all the way until such time that he recovers from his father's death. Cheer him up, show him that you care for him through little things, just give him a pat on his shoulder or a hug when he feels depressed and most of all, let him know that you will always be there for him.

Ask him out when you think that he is about to feel depressed again and take him to places where he used to go when his fathrer was still alive but don't take him to places where he would only remember his father the more such as those places where your whole family spent a happy day with your grandfather around.

As much as possible, avoid conversations which would also make him miss your grandpa. It would be best if you and your other family members would refrain from mentioning your grandpa's name whenever your dad is around.

But when it is your dad who mentions his name and begins to show signs of loneliness and depression again, just tell him that your grandpa now is at peace with God and if you can, divert the topic immediately to other things.

Don't forget to pray for your grandpa's soul and your father's acceptance of your grandpa's death everyday. Your prayer will be your family's shield from the loneliness and feeling of emptiness brough about by your grandpa's passing away. All the best.

Answer 3

Your family is going thru an awful lot ... its going to take some time for things to get back to the way they were... try and find a friend to help you get thru it.. your father may need to see someone about it.. but he really shouldnt be driving intoxicated.. Maybe one day like this weekend say hey dad lets go somewhere together just you and him.. see what he says.. let him know you are here for him.. but dont let it become such a burden on you either.. Relax let your uncle and mother handle this situation.... i wish you the best of luck and im sorry i couldnt help you more,, something like this is very hard to deal with ...

Answer 4

Everyone has there own way of dealing with stressful situations. A close family member passing away can be the most difficult moments to withstand.

I stand up and applaud you and your Uncle for not letting him drive intoxicated and trust me in the morning when he is Sober, (Definitely won't feel better) he will be very grateful to you.

The best thing that you can do for him and all the family/friends involved is to lend a ear and be as supportive as possible. The calmer you are the calmer the situation will be.

P.s. Sorry to hear about your grandfathers passing =/

Answer 5

Michael, first I am sorry about the loss of your grandpa. Losing a loved one is difficult at best. Your father is grieving and reacting in a way of total loss - and he has resorted to drinking. I would suspect the drinking is to "numb" his feelings of sorrow and the loss of his father. Unfortunately, his actions have effected you and the other family members.

I don't know what the answer is but do not blame yourself for your father's actions and realize that everyone deals with a loss of a loved one differently. The family did the right thing to stop your father from driving. I will pray for your Michael, your father, and your family.

Turn to God for he is always with you - whether you are happy, mad, sad, or lonely.

Answer 6

you have every right to feel the way you do. My grandma just passed away a couple of weeks ago, and my mom went crazy in the beginnning. it was and still is real hard to deal with, but the best way that o felt like it worked for me was simply to be there for my mother. its normal for ppl to act strange when they experience lost, and lets face it, u cant just pretend like it didnt happen, cos that will just bottle up all ur negative feelings inside. try to spend more time with ur dad, see if there's something that u could both do together to keep u both occupied, like going fishing or walking or whatever. only time could heal this pain, and the only way i could comfort u right now is by telling u that it will get better, sooner than u think. my mom is already improving since she first got the bad news, what u have to keep in mind that this is god's will, and nothing u or ur dad can do to bring back ur grandpa. my condolences

Answer 7

Sorry to hear about your loss.

You did all the right things. Speak to your dad after the alcohol wears off. Give him an opportunity to talk about his father and release his grief. Let him know that you and your uncle are there for him, and that you need him to be there for you too. If he's a man of faith, remind him that his father is in a better place, and that they will meet again.

Answer 8

I think you did the right thing by not letting him drive. Sounds to me like your dad is upset and looking for attention.
Your right, just relax and try to understand what he is going through. He probably shouldn't have acted that way, but people do strange things when their lives are disturbed by the loss of a loved one.
Seems to me like you're the grown up and he is the child. Keep your chin up. Be as strong as you can and keep focus of all around you. Cry on a shoulder if you need to and offer yours when it is needed. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 9

I'm sorry for your loss and sorry that you feel lonely now. Just relax, stressful days are still ahead. I'm sure your father is having a hard time with your grandfather's death but he will get better now, especially because he (and any of siblings, if there are any) is now going to have to step up to the plate of dealing with the funeral and other family business. This will help him cope and you won't have to worry about him. Be sure to express your feelings, even if just on Yahoo, it will help you release stress and tension. Good Luck to you. :-)

Answer 10

I understand what you mean .You love your father and you know he got hurt .he has every right to be hurt .You wanna help him some how,right? Maybe you should go talk to him when he is alone somewhere , you know , just man to man... it will help him as well.Tell him that you love him as much as he loved his dad and the family should stay together , strong as before to keep the short life going on. It is too much for the family to lost a close one.It will pass and the things get back to normal . Stay strong...