confused about why when a girl has been raped???

Question

she usually wants to keep it a secret. i hear some reasons might be that she might be ashamed of herself, she doesn't want to be thought of as a slut, etc.....but still those don't seem like legit reasons to keep it a secret. if i were a girl i would prosecute to the fullest....is there some underlying psychological reason for this

Answer 1

well.. its really hard on a person emotionally .. and physically to deal with a situation like this.. its hard to talk about .. such a dramatic .. situation..!

Answer 2

Well it's easy to say that you would prosecute to the fullest right now, but until you're in the situation you can't really say exactly how you would react. Being raped is such a traumatic event and can make you feel so guilty, almost like you asked to be raped or deserved it (even though you most definitely didn't). It's hard to explain, but there is a great psychological effect that rape can have on a person, especially if you know the person that did it. If it's someone you know that did the rape it makes it difficult because you don't want to ruin many relationships that you have with people because people won't believe you or will be angry with you if you prosecute your rapist. Sometimes it's easier for a girl to not prosecute because it prevents them from having to relive the situation for an entire courtroom and have to stand up to the defense's questions and other embarrassing things like your sexual past etc.

Answer 3

In order to press charges, the women will have to go through some very invasive medical examinations and detailed police reports. If the case goes to trial, she will then have to relive the entire ordeal in front of the rapist. Even then, only 10% of accused rapists are found guilty. There is then the stigma that the victim was not telling the truth.

There is also then the chance that the rapist may become angrier and target the victim again or get other people to target/assault her.

It is also known that there are occassions when a rapists will have his 'friends' stand as witnesses and swear that they have had consenual sex with the victim. The more witnesses he has, the more her reputation is tarnished.

There are also so many different types of rape - date rape, drink-spiking rape, incest etc. These all have different emotions attached.

I am certain that if women knew that the offender would be found guilty and they would not have their reputation and mental health affected, the majority of women would prosecute.

Answer 4

Yes, rape victims are psychologically traumatized as well as physically brutalized. Rape victims feel defiled, used, made to be less than human. And they are afraid that revealing that shame to others will lead to them seeing her as "damaged goods." And too often, the woman is made to look like she was "asking for it" by the defense, and thus violated all over again. So those feelings of shame ARE psychological reasons why she might not report. And, as horrible as it is to think about, what if you WERE raped (you don't HAVE to be a woman, you know) would you not have the slightest reticence about telling the world what happened to you, and living the nightmare all over again, to strangers? Of course all women who have gone through this should report and attempt to prosecute to the fullest, but it is a very hard thing to go through, after what you've already been through.

Answer 5

Good for you for being strong enough to say ypou would bring it out in thte open. Back in the 60s, the women's movement started making progress with breaking stereotypes about women. One of them was the definition of rape, which usually assumed that it was almost always somehow at least partly the woman's fault. If she was a Loose Woman, it was all her fault. And to be a loose woman one only had to be the subject of certain rumors, espacially among men. Women's opinions only counted if they supported the men's opinions.
Sadly some of those stereotypes still exist today. To many women, their reputation is the only thing of value they have. To report a rape might ruin that. Often they believe no one believes them (Often they are right). Many times they are in fear because no matter how bad the crime, the rapist always ends up out on bail and free to threaten her. Lots of reasons here, and elsewhere. You may want to take some womwn's studies courses to learn more..
A very good question that is sure to upset some. Tough!

Cool Guy, I just noticed your name. Don't be so sure you would report it. LOt of shame for guys who get raped also. And less people are empathic towards male victims. But it is still a good question.

Answer 6

Because if you prosecute, you are bound to go through some really bad shi*. Think about it. Even if you go to the doctor and they find the sperm in you as evidence, the guy is going to claim that it was CONSENSUAL sex. Then people who like him are going to turn against you. They will all call you a slut, and they'll pull up anything they can find on your past sexual history. They'll claim you are a nut case - that you were upset that he didn't want to have a relationship with you or something, and that you are doing this to get back at him. Then how are you going to prove any differently? It is your word against his. And when they make you look like a whore, your word won't carry all that much weight. It is a no-win situation.

Answer 7

There are many kinds of different rapes, and many different situations.
Date rape
incest
Molested etc
She could be afraid that if she did prosecute and he didnt go to jail hed Hurt her.
Many people ask stupid quwations like " were you teasing him"
"what were you wearing", what were you doing in a bar...why would you date a stranger, why did you go back to his place, were you drunk.................and when you go to court your further raped by the Judical system, when they tear you apart , on how many partners you've had, and some of the questions I posted above.
If its a relative or freind who did the raping, its very hard for some people to charge them and the whole family could end up fueding.
The raped persons personality has a big part, is she timid, shy,old fashioned, religious.....Befor the laws regarding rape can be changed, PEOPLE's opinion of it has to change, seems people are always trying to find a way to blame the victim, rather than lay all responsibilty on the RAPER.

Answer 8

People like to keep some very personal things to themselves, and in spite or or in addition to being an act of violence, this crime is also very personal.

People may not be ashamed that it happened to them, but they may be ashamed that they couldn't be strong enough to stop it. One of the worst things a person can feel is helpless and unable to stop being attacked. Girls/women are often just like men when it comes to having a little "machismo" of their own. When women are attacked (even by no more than a verbally abusive partner who shows a little "puffing up") they can wonder why someone as strong, smart, decent, capable, etc. as they are has failed themselves when it mattered most. That's what they aren't proud of.

Women also may not want to tell because once a story is told it can make the person who has listened conjur up images in his/her mind and/or it may make that person start to think of the victim differently than he/she had before. Women may not want o get images of themselves being attacked "going" in someone else's head. It could seem like giving the crime new life in some way. Anyone who goes through some awful crisis or crime doesn't want to be seen as, or treated as, someone different from their old selves.

Some people may not want to re-live something over and over again the way they will if they follow through with trying to get the person prosecuted. It may be easy for people to say, "I'd want to prosecute" (and maybe the person who hasn't been a victim really would if she/he became a victim); but I would imagine as much as a victim may wish to see the attacker in hell or dead she may find that re-living the nightmare still isn't worth it. Also, she may actually be afraid. If this person "won" once, she may worry that he could "win" again. She may worry that he wouldn't be found guilty and would be free to come after her in some violent way as well.

Answer 9

A coping mechanism for the human brain to deal with that kind of emotional trauma is to detach emotionally. To go through the process of prosecuting would involve the girl to relive the experience over and over throughout the process and detaching is really impossible under those circumstances.

Answer 10

Experiencing traumatic events such as a rape would undoubtedly create tons of emotional and physical responses. One documented disorder is called PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). Those feelings/responses can cloud a victim's decision-making ability. Reasons you stated may not "seem" like legit reasons, but if you were to be in their position, you may see others in a different light (less likely to trust others).

Answer 11

I think for some reason they think it's their fault the it happen, some women may say no!! but their body's languish be talking something else, sometime a women may do some flirting. Just to get the man she want or to let a man know that she know she look good and the man may thinks she is asking for it. That not the Case.