I am married with 2 teenagers. I have been suffering from depression for quite some time now. I only started taking medication since I turned 40. My husband just started working again this month. He's been off for the last year since I went back to work full time. We were going to have sell our house to cover expenses. Now I'm working, he's working, I just got benefits, took the kids to the dentist and everything seems to be going ok for a change. Hubby and I aren't fighting as much. On the phone, a friend of mine said to me recently, "You don't sound happy. Why aren't you happy? Seems to me like maybe you should be more thankful for what you have."
I told her that I thank God everyday for what I have. I AM thankful every single day. She insinuated that I'm unappreciative! Her tone of voice sounded just like my mom when I was a kid: what's the matter with YOU? NOT good enough for YOU?
I'm just not the type to jump around. Am I so wrong?
2006-10-23 17:06:46 · 9 answers · asked by katie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
PS - I haven't spoke to her since she insulted me. Should I call her?
By the way, she is a single mom who's ex cheated on her. They guy is an idiot and she knows it, we all know it. One of her kids refuses to see his dad. She loves it now that she gets to make all her own decisions since she wasn't allowed to when she was married. I think she's riding high on her divorce pony. She's done such a good job at getting through her divorce, she's got advice for EVERYONE! She seems to be quite the authority now on life in general.
2006-10-23 17:11:11 · update #1
Thank you all for your answers. Wish I could award all as Best Answer! Gonna be tough!
Thank you again!
2006-10-24 03:25:49 · update #2
You are right when you say your friend thinks she has authority on everything. Ignore her. She owes you an apology. Depression is a very difficult thing to shake off, and until you have experienced it can you only truly understand it. I myself have been battling depression for over a year, and like you, I thank God everyday for His presence in my life and eveything he has given me, but after all is said and done, I am still crying and feel like I am wrapped up in this big, overwhelming and dark shroud of sadness that I can't shake off. Hang in there. It is not easy. But try to take it all in small doses, and know that you are not alone in this battle. You will be in my prayers.
2006-10-23 20:20:12 · answer #1 · answered by kutingtingting 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people are good at masking their true feelings. Your friend may actually be jealous that you and your husband held on and you are getting your lives back together. She may have hoped you two would get a divorce so you could hang together. Do not call her because you have done nothing wrong. Let her make the move to call you. If she doesn't then to me she wasn't really a true friend to begin with. You have your family. You need to work on saving that and work on your health. (Depression). I just went through the same thing in a way so I know what I am talking about and how I feel. A friend of mine wanted me to move in with her and her partner, but I went to my mom's instead. My partner and I made up and I am very happy now. Don't let a so called friend mess up your life. I wish for you the best.
2006-10-24 00:28:37 · answer #2 · answered by animallover1954 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Katie,
You are just fine. You will be happy when everything is right. Hang in there. A job, a little security and not so much fighting is not fulfillment and joy. You don't have to be happy for anyone else. Find what makes you feel happy and then you'll be happy. And find some better friends.
ps. You don't need a know it all telling you to be happy. You need some real friends that you can laugh and share your feelings with.
2006-10-24 00:13:01 · answer #3 · answered by Steve M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everybody likes to hear "good" things but we're constantly on the defensive and you'd be surprised how one little remark, taken the wrong way or whatever can damage a friendship or relationship.I know when you go through bad times and someone happens to say the "wrong" thing, I get right on the defensive, too, because I feel people don't understand. No, you're not wrong, feeling the way you do. My own sister gets like that and I try very hard to overlook alot of her criticism. "SHE" was always the better one, in my mom's eyes, but everyone has faults; even the people that won't admit it.
2006-10-24 00:31:04 · answer #4 · answered by Nancy D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you are the person that doesn't show your emotion on the outside. You don't always have to be jumping for joy. Maybe that is the way she expects people to act. You, your kids, and husband know that things are better; you don't need the whole world to know that. Just tell your friend( when you do) that you are happy, thankful, and grateful for everything and to get off you back about it. It's how you are.
2006-10-24 01:24:18 · answer #5 · answered by dangerousd13 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think your wrong, You have to speak for yourself, From the way I see this only was she in your shoes? I don't think so. sounds like to everything is getting better for your family. If I was you don't worry about what others say. You know that you are thankful for that should only matter. not what others see it. Was they there for you when things wasn't going good as they are now? Do they pay your bills?
2006-10-24 00:18:47 · answer #6 · answered by Darrell C 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not so wrong. You're probably just tired. Depression takes a lot out of you, not just emotionally either.
Talk to your doctor. Lack of energy can be a side effect of the medicine, which can be corrected.
2006-10-24 00:13:13 · answer #7 · answered by Schlump 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong. I do not know why your friend assumed you do not sound happy but the truth is she or he can't see through your heart only God can.
2006-10-24 00:12:26 · answer #8 · answered by maxunn1234 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no your not so wrong!! just cause somebody want to win an urgument it doesn't mean they are right. it's you and only you who can feel your feelings. if you are happy then you shouldn't care what people say. cheers!!! =)
2006-10-24 00:10:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋