I have been married for 11 years (faithfully). My husband and myself were experiencing some communication problems and he took it one step further and cheated..Now everytime we fight he goes on yahoo messenger ( the same place he met the girl he cheated with)Should I give him another chance
2006-10-23 16:29:55 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes. Forgive him and quit fighting. Pay more attention so he doesn't stray.
2006-10-23 16:32:34 · answer #1 · answered by Foss 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he's still going on messenger and in front of you none the less.... he's sending you a signal. Either he no longer wants to be with you and doesn't want to tell you cause he's afraid it'll hurt you or he just straight out doesn't care either way both scenarios not that great. Had it been an isolated incident I would have said everyone deserves a second chance. I'm sorry to say that's not the case here. Leave him you'll find love again you deserve to be with someone that you can communicate with someone who will love and care for you the way you do them.
Good luck
2006-10-23 16:39:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be able to forgive him but will you be able forget the fact that he cheated is the question. I think he is changing for the worst. He no longer see this 11 yrs of marriage to you as great as you see it. If he did he wouldn't of cheated on you. Forgive him or not it's really up to you. Just remember that if your husband truely love you he wouldn't do anything to hurt you. If you decide to give him a chance make sure he work for his 2nd chance. He needs to prove it to you that he's worth a 2nd chance. Maybe you need some time alone to really think about this.
2006-10-23 18:35:13 · answer #3 · answered by uniqaznmeg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he said he is sorry and if so; does it seem like he means it? He can have one more chance but that is it. As his 2nd chance tell him it would mean a lot to you and the marriage if he didn't go on yahoo messenger anymore. If he does this; great-if not then be strong and really think about what kind of future you want- With him or without him. If there are children involved in this marriage; that is a big issue with it all too. Goodluck and God Bless you in whatever happens.
2006-10-23 16:49:19 · answer #4 · answered by Tgirl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is just looking for a reason to go back on Yahoo messenger. He picks the fights, doesn't he? Don't fight back and I bet he will still go seeking another chick. He is addicted. You should never have given him the first chance.
2006-10-23 17:00:57 · answer #5 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look inside yourselft. Do you love him with all of your heart? Do you think you can overcome the problems that led to the cheating?
If you love him, and you believe there is still a foundation on which to base your relationship, then do your best to repair the damage. Seek counselling if possible. Give it your best shot. Then if the relationship still fails, you will know you did everything you could.
I'm sorry for your pain.
2006-10-23 16:37:52 · answer #6 · answered by In Cognita 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say no. I was married. I got divorced. I remarried. My new husband is such a better man. The first one cheated. Never ever again. If my new husband does the same, there's no apologies, there's no working through it. It's over and done with. If he loved you, he wouldn't have cheated in the first place.
2006-10-23 16:57:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
every time there is a communication problem, every time he doesn't get his way, will this happen, will he continue to brealk your heart?once a cheater always a cheater, i would much rather divorce a cheater first time they cheat, as to invest more time and love into them, only to live to be cheated on and hurt again later on.is he remorseful, would he agree to see a therapist to make the marriage better? what are his responses, does he lay blame on you or does he accept responsibility, and is he willing to change, if he gets on yahoo he certinly seems to be looking to cheat again.we don't set boundaries with the ones we love, we fear of being abandoned and hurt, but sometimes it happens anyway no matter how good we are to them. sometimes we are blind to their cheating,and forgive them unconditionally, only to see it rear it's ugly head later on down the road.you should decide to forgive only if he ask for forgiveness, only if he is willing to accept responsibility, and be accountable, if not than theres really no reason to go on cause there isn't anywhere to go with the marriage that won't hurt you, or make you resentful later on.
2006-10-23 16:46:03 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe for a change, the next time he fights you go on yahoo messenger. I think he does that coz he knows it frustrates you. So why not try the same method on him. Maybe he will realise you have a life too.
2006-10-23 16:42:12 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs JP 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
once you gave him a chance guess what he is good to go especially if there were no consequences meaning no yahoo messenger
but if you really want to be sure you aren't just jumping to conclusions put software on your computer that captures every key stroke and instant message sent
there will be no doubt then whether you should give him a chance or not
2006-10-23 17:48:11 · answer #10 · answered by Lisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, cuz trying to start over doesn't usually work out once been "scarred" from getting cheated on! One would have trouble putting that in the past and would always be an "Issue" and buried, then resentment builds..................
unless, like many are saying, if your marriage is worth saving, and you still have love...............
I commend anyone, and you folks are alot stronger than I am!!!!! SEEK COUNSELING!
2006-10-23 17:23:54 · answer #11 · answered by julesrules 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋