How do I ever trust my husband again after he told me he had a 2 year affair. We have 3 little boys together. I beleive we both truely love each other, and I know I can somehow forgive him I will never forget , but can I ever trust him????
2006-10-23 16:25:48 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can definitely forgive him... but forgetting will take years of hard work and dedication. If he truly loves & cares for you, then he will work harder than ever to prove to you that he's sorry... but you probably won't trust him again for years to come. You have my best wishes... so many people choose divorce instead of staying together for the long haul. True love is ALWAYS worth fighting for... and forgiving someone for having an ongoing affair is always a huge battle to overcome.
Here's my hoping and wishing that you and your husband can get through it.... good luck! Stay strong. And as long as he's working his butt off to prove to you how much he loves you and how sorry he is for his wrong-doings, don't let anyone or anything discourage you!
2006-10-23 16:31:08 · answer #1 · answered by Jemmie Vee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must seriously decide for yourself if you can trust him again or not before you try mending the relationship. Getting that trust back will certainly take a long long time but to you it may be worth it. Eventually things should become normal again but it won't happen overnight. As for repairing the relationship, if decide that you can't trust him ever again, move on. This may seem harder than trusting him again but you may honestly be better off by yourself or with someone new. No one deserves to feel the way you do when you find you that you have been cheated on. Think long and hard about what's best for you and your children and go from there. Time heals all wounds in both cases here, either way things will eventually somehow work out. You deserve to feel secure in your relationship and don't settle for less.The decision either way is going to be hard so do some soul searching, even if it means some time apart from him.Good luck.
2006-10-23 16:34:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whatever it was once nobody can particularly realize. I do realize that the majority persons who've affairs isn't particularly for the intercourse, it's fro how the opposite individual makes them suppose approximately themselves. A guy that feels unappreciated or criticized at residence by means of his spouse is susceptible for any girl who will pay him a few awareness and presents admiration and appreciate. This does now not provide an excuse for having an affair it most effective explains it. It looks you took him again with out first operating on why he had the affair. These are motives you each have got to paintings on. He can not easily anticipate for you each to maintain as though not anything has occurred. Most guys who've well will toward their spouse (well intentions) don't simply in the future and get up identifying to have an affair. Things occur within the marriage that motives a breakdown. believe me, if you happen to and your husband had been in song with one yet another the affair could now not have occurred within the first position. In such a lot affairs the motive is emotional even if there may be intercourse worried. Now of path there are guys which might be simply jerks and reside lifestyles for self gratification most effective. You could be the only to understand exceptional what variety of guy your husband is. I wish you each make a resolution on getting marital counseling to get the connection among you each on more potent flooring in order that the bond might be so pleasant that nobody could be in a position to come back among you each. Good success hun and take care.
2016-09-01 01:46:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The trust will never be like before. If we can only forget as easy as we can forgive than it would be much easier. Two years for an affair is a long time. Do you ask yourself where he might be if hes not home or when he goes to the store? Then there's your answer.
2006-10-23 16:32:01 · answer #4 · answered by heaven 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow sweetie, I am so sorry to hear that! First of all you need to pray , and ask god to give you the strength you need to try and deal with this. Next I would seek Martial counseling to discover why he cheated in the first place, and work through whatever issues you all may have. You must be assertive in this situation, and set a boundary for yourself. If he pulls this S*** again you need to leave, because he is showing you that his needs are more important than you and his commitment to you, and his boys. It is hard when you have children involved in situations like this, because it makes it a lot harder to walk. One thing is for sure do not be a door Matt, if you can't forgive him or trust him again maybe you should position yourself to leave. Make sure you have everything in order if you do decide to leave, and have a plan, but do not let him know about your plan.
2006-10-23 16:33:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl you can but you can't trust him again. He has a good heart because he told you about the affairs. In the in trust you in stink, cause it is all you have. Don't think on it to hard try and worrier on what he is doing different form when he was having the affairs. Also on what is going back to normal now that he claims he is not having the affair. Well hope this helps!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-23 16:32:27 · answer #6 · answered by nesha_2tall 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For me personally I don't think I could trust a spouse whose cheated. It would always be in the back of your mind any time they weren't with you what they were up to. I think trust is the foundation of a good relationship. You could still have a marriage but would it be that good always checking up on him. A two year affair is pretty serious, not that any affair isn't but if someone were to cheat on me I'd prefer it to be a one night stand. I don't think the trust would ever come back no matter how faithful he was after that.
2006-10-23 16:32:03 · answer #7 · answered by E_Soup 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can trust him again. You must first choose to trust him. Everyone makes mistakes. If he volunteered the information then chances are he is truly in remorse for what he did
However, unless the root of the problem is solved it could still happen again. To solve this problem we must ask why? Why did he stray in the first place? Was he unhappy in the marriage? Or maybe he is one that can't care for another person without feeling a sexual attraction as well. Sometimes it is difficult to separate sex and caring for someone. I would strongly suggest marriage and individual counseling.
2006-10-23 16:34:15 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
trusting him will be up to you but know that a two year affair is more than an affair they had a relationship
i have been seeing a married man for over two years who has children and i know he loves his wife and he is in love with me as well, unfortunately he has responsibilities and initially told me he was divorced or in the process
now after 2+ years we are at a crossroad, he truley loves his wife and yet we have much in common, i don't believe he will cheat on her again, but i also know our relationship is a source of strength to him
in saying that (not to hurt your feelings at all) please ensure you get counseling, make sure he has truly ended the relationship and honestly only she can tell you that (if my lovers wife called and asked me I would tell her the truth), but most of the time the wife says she wants the truth but rarely does she
but you can trust him just do you want to trust him or give your trust to him again? that is the bigger question
just don't be naive please
2006-10-23 18:01:19 · answer #9 · answered by Lisa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might forgive, but you won't forget. I have a friend whose husband cheated for a year after 20 years of marriage. They have worked out their issues and put their marriage back together, but after 5 years, she still thinks about it.
You have to decide if you can live with it, it never goes away completely.
2006-10-23 16:29:38 · answer #10 · answered by Christina 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋