I asked my sister was she happy with her being pregnant (she is 17) and she said well no but what can i do about it? I told her her options and i told her to think about it and she said she would. I told her she can have her baby if she wants and i will be there and if she dosent then i will be there too. She is really too young for motherhood.
Question: Since she is only six weeks would they give her that abortion pill or do a surgical one?
Anyhow i told her that i would talk to her in a day or two to see how she is feeling about things. She said okay and i asked her was she mad at me for bringing that up to her and she said NO. I told her i do not think she is a bad person for being pregnant or that i am ashamed of her. I just told her to do what she wants not what i want or her boyfriend wants.
Let me ask you all this since you all are dead set against abortion
Who will be going through the pain of having her baby? HER
Who will be tending & caring for the baby allday? HER
2006-10-23 16:07:40 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
The guy she is with is not going to have to give up everything llike she will. So if she has an abortion is it so wrong?
2006-10-23 16:08:54 · update #1
to Non typical teen pregnancy Lindsey. You do not know my sister.You are making it sound like i am going to drag her to a clinic screaming and kicking... I know my sister and i know by the she is acting and sounding and crying about her being pregnant that she is not happy. also i do not think i am better than anyone..
2006-10-23 16:26:25 · update #2
to lindsey once again if it were all about me like you say then why am i asking things on here about MY SISTER? these ?'s are about her. Like i said she has to do what she wants to do but she is only 17 after all a kid herself and i think she knows she is too young to have a baby right now. I kow some people thinks it is okay to have a baby at 17 but those are the ones that got pregnant at a young age in the first place.
I am truely worried for my sister and her life. Why should she have to ruin her life over some guy?
2006-10-23 16:43:41 · update #3
She can have a surgical abortion - they won't give her the pill.
You should really try to convince her to get the abortion. She has 25 more years to get pregnant. You will all be completely screwed if you bring another mouth into this world you can't take care of. Don't let close minded people try to convince you abortion is wrong - it's you and you're sister who'll have to deal with this for decades to come.
2006-10-23 16:18:14 · answer #1 · answered by ZenPenguin 7 · 3⤊ 4⤋
I personally don't really believe in abortions unless certain cirumstances are provided. Let me just say that often when a person has an abortion they tend to get pregant again...and then her next option is going to be abortion again. I don't know I guess sometimes it's a repeated pattern. But I do know someone that thought it was no big deal to get abortions and has 3 in the past 6 years.......now she wants a baby more than anything in the world.......and she's feeling guilt beyong belief of giving up those children......I just hate to hear that, and from a mothers perspective I couldn't imagine aborting my child.....ever.......Don't get me wrong I would never judge someone on what age they got pregnant because yah know what....mistakes happen and it's obviously apart of her master plan. But just remember if she wasn't meant to get pregnant then she wouldn't have gotten pregnant, obviously there is a reason why she got pregnant.......Also, someone I once knew got pregnant when she was 16....after having the child she found out she had cancer....ovarian cancer, they had to remove them.......that was the last baby and the only baby she could ever have conceived...........*things happen for a reason*
2006-10-24 05:37:29 · answer #2 · answered by shontai 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No one can answer the question of if it is wrong except her. Personally for me in my life - I could not do it. But if I was 16 or 17 - I remember myself back then - I was definitely not mature enough to have and raise a baby - nor did I have any money and neither did my parents - and I wasn't strong enough in my mind to go through pregnancy just to give the baby up. Thankfully I never got preg - but if I was that age and pregnant I belive I would have had an abortion. I wouldn't have wanted to be one of those statistics of a teen mom on welfare....
I have a friend who had one at age 19 or 20 or so and she was very sad for a very long time anytime she saw a baby. She beat herself up about it for a couple of years. I have another friend who had 2 and only second guessed herself a couple times....
I would say if your sister chooses abortion - make sure she gets into some type of therapy as she will need it. It's probably too late for a pill (not positive).
If she decided to have it - make sure she is aware of the help that exisits to help teen mothers and she may also need therapy. Maybe have her go to a teen mother's home (those homes where teen moms go who were kicked out or who were in abusive relationships) and talk to other teen moms and see what they are going through.
And if she decided to give the baby up for adoption - she would be giving away her child to a family who would love and care for the child and possibly to a family who may not be able to have their own children. It would hurt emotionally to do it - but she would possibly be doing the best for the baby. i've headr they do open adoptions a lot nowadays where the child still knows who the mother is but is still raised by the adoptive parents. Personally i think that would be too much to handle giving the baby up yet still seeing him/her while someone else is raising him/her). Once again, she would need therapy.
No matter what it's on her and all you can do is be ther for her in whatever she decides. So far I think you have been a great big sister from how you've posted.
2006-10-23 16:21:35 · answer #3 · answered by Rae T 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I think you are absolutely right about educating her about her choices, as long as you support whatever she decides. I don't think you are making this about you at all, it seems like you are just worried about your sister.
(I am going to make myself look really bad here, but maybe it will help) I had a baby at 16 which I kept, (I don't regret it at all) I had an abortion at 19. It was a very hard decision, but I knew that my son would not have any future whatsoever if I had another child before 20. To be totally honest, after the abortion I felt relieved. So many people feel so strongly about abortion, but if someone chooses it (on their own) I think most of them would be relieved. On the other hand, me and my son are fine. He is now 12 and I am 28. He is a great kid, fluent in 2 languages, does well in school, and the star on his football and lacross teams, (just needed to brag) I do not think people should have kids that young at all. It is hard, and I missed out on so much. I am lucky it worked out for me.
Good Luck. Just be there for her!
2006-10-23 16:54:50 · answer #4 · answered by butterfliesbrown 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I have a gf that had an abortion when she was 19, her bf was younger than her and he didnt want the baby. She has regretted it since the day she had it done. When she got pregnant with her husband she started to wonder what her first baby would have looked like, and when her ex had his baby she wondered the same thing. Is a life time of guilt worth it??? It might be a hard life for her and her baby, but that doesnt mean that it will be a bad life for her and the baby. I hope she does what SHE wants to do, not what you think she should do!!!
2006-10-23 16:27:17 · answer #5 · answered by krickee 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Honey, if she had waited for marriage and stability, chilld birth and child care are still JUST as demanding. Most importantly a baby is STILL a blessing. I unfortunately aborted 2 babies several years ago. My birth control failed and I should not have been having sex. Period. But I was. I was in love. And I got pregnant. One abortion was one month before I became pregnant with my daughter who is now 13 and the other one was when she was 4 months old. NOTHING HAS EVER NOR WILL EVER BREAK MY HEART LIKE THOSE abortions!! I have a 6 day old baby and am now married and happy. Support your sister. We MAKE the beds we sleep in. There are a million ladies and girls going through what she's going through. She needs love and support. She can make it! Please choose love and life. Blessings and grace.
2006-10-23 16:16:46 · answer #6 · answered by Sleek 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
She has to make all of these choices. She has to decided if it is right / wrong for HER. She needs to consider every option fully. The men who get us pregnant at such early ages are hardly ever there 10 years down the road. It's almost best that he does go now. Then the baby won't be confused as to "Why was daddy here, and now he left me?" She just needs to think this over. She needs time. This isn't an overnight decision. It wont be easy. But I was a young mother. I love my son more than life itself. Every sacrafice was worth it. And yes, I would do it again.
2006-10-23 16:13:00 · answer #7 · answered by IMHO 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You can have a medical abortion up to 7 weeks gestation. If this is something she wants to do you should certainly make an appointment immediately. I've never terminated a pregnancy and so don't know exactly what happens, but I imagine they will want to perform an ultrasound for dating to be sure she's a candidate for RU-486.
I am so glad you talked to your sister about this. I've been wondering what happened.
2006-10-23 16:13:24 · answer #8 · answered by Shana 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i am pro choice. I got pregnant at 17 my older brother offered to support me getting a abortion. He was willing to drive me pay for it. I could not do it. I felt it was not the right thing for me. I fully understand how some women feel it is right for them they should have that choice. I have a 10.5 year old son now. You can't say when your sister is ready that bothers me that you said she's not it's not for you to SAY. My brother said i was not ready we knew the dad was not going to be around i'ld be a mom alone & single. Things change when you are handed a newborn you grew in your body. I'M glad you will support her. You need to stop letting her know what's best for her. Let her come to you for help.
2006-10-23 16:28:00 · answer #9 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Oh my gosh! She is practically an adult. Stop babying her. In a year she's going to have to make her own decisions. Try respecting her--and letting her figure a few things out on her own. I know it's hard but as I've been in that situation myself--what you say really has no effect on her. She is almost an adult, so treat her that way.
You are right. She will go through caring, tending, and the pain of having a child. Not you--so let HER make the decision that is right for HER life.
It's great to show concern but you seem to be acting (in a way) better then her or like you know everything. Yes, you have experienced more in life but that probably doesn't matter to her. If you haven't been in the situation your credibility is probably very questionable to her. In the end you have to remember it's her body and her choice. What you want isn't any of her concern.
EDIT TO ADD:
If she isn't happy then she is going to have to deal with it. She is going to have to deal with whatever decision she makes. I didn't say that she was happy. I didn't say you thought she was better. I never claimed to know your sister, you, or any of your family. If she is upset she can figure this out for herself. Sure she needs your support but she doesn't need for you to tell her what to do. Advice is great but I really feel you are taking it one step too far.
Sorry to say but you will not know how she'll feel after an abortion but who will? HER You will not know how she'll feel after having a child but who will? HER. You seem to be making this about YOU--and it's not. It's about her, her boyfriend, and their unborn child.
EDIT TO ADD 2:
If you'd like to continue this conversation I'd like to ask if we can do it over email or IM. All my contact details are made available through my Y!A's profile.
No, I don't think it's "okay" to have a child at 17, 27, 35, 56, or even 72 IF the person isn't ready. I think you are twisting my words. I said "Where there's a will there's a way." If she wants the child then she CAN do it. What I meant by you seem to be making this about you is you are asking quesitons about how to sway her decision to abort the child. I'm pro-choice. Pro-choice is about making your own decisions--not about getting abortions because someone else wants you too. How do you know she's not ready to have a child? You know more then me, granted but you don't know more then her. When was having a child considered a life "ruined?"
Life is what you make it--you work with what has been given to you.
2006-10-23 16:13:49 · answer #10 · answered by .vato. 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋