At my high school, some of my freinds know I'm bi (I think I'm more on the gay side) But most of my friends that don't know are homophobic. Do I tell and ditch the homophobes? Or do I keep it a secret?
2006-10-23 15:53:44 · 20 answers · asked by that1kidme 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
First Answer:
Yes but no one knows this is me... plus I didn't say the name of my school so no harm done!
2006-10-23 15:57:44 · update #1
I think you should only do what you are comfortable doing right now. It really isn't anyone's business what your sexual orientation is unless you want them to know. As for your homophobic friends, perhaps when you tell them, you will be able to teach them that gay people are just that - people. If they are truly your "friends" then they will love you all the same. I believe that we can only know who our true friends are by being able to be ourselves around them and be accepted for who we are by them.
I wish you happiness in whatever decision you make!
2006-10-23 15:58:26 · answer #1 · answered by chrysalislady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At some point you will need to be out in order to enjoy your life; hiding your sexuality inevitably leads to a difficult and generally sad life. However, choosing the time to come out it key.
For most people I tell them not to push it until they are out of school and able to earn a living.
If you come out fully, will your family be supportive? If they turned you out, would you have somewhere to go?
In terms of the homophobic friends, that's a different issue. You need to ditch them because they have destructive attitudes. You don't have to come out to ditch them - just find people you would rather hang with and move on.
If after you've done that, you feel comfortable coming out to your new friends, do so.
And if your school has a Queer-Straight Alliance group, consider joining.
2006-10-23 23:04:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the long run, you're going to find that you only make friends with people who accept your sexuality, and you just sort of ignore the rest. But in high school things are a bit more complicated, because your friendships are formed before those people discover your "secret." My best advice is to take it slow. You'll find that some people will surprise you with their casual acceptance, and some won't understand or will do that weird judgmental thing. Either way, remember that YOU WILL BE FINE! I think thats the most important thing. In the long run, you'll be just fine.
2006-10-23 22:58:00 · answer #3 · answered by BoardingJD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Telling is a sign off bravery and explain to them (homophobic) that you will not change from before you will just be know as a different kind of person.
I am sorta homophobic (theirs a guy on my bus always trying to come onto me ) but i have a few bisexual and gay/lesbian friends and one of my best friends is a bisexual and i told him to keep it a secret becuase his parents really homophobic and would prolly put him up for addoption But he's not a gay leaning bisexual though. maybe you should tell them that your bisexual then later after things have settled down you could tell them you gay. For people in high school learning that one of your friends is bisexual and gay in the same day is overwhelming and will scare them (especialy since they homophobic) so tell them at seprate times for less shock but then agian its all up to you
Pick wisly
-ZALiMAN
2006-10-23 23:57:53 · answer #4 · answered by ZALiMAN 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since high school is so scary these days, I'd wait. Yes, it's who you are and be proud that you know yourself well enough to be who you are. Unfortunately it is a scary reality that public schools are, well scary. Not all obviously, but why take a risk. Adult life outside school is a much safer place to be yourself. These days, I really think the only reason to keep your sexual preference to yourself is personal protection.
If you feel no physical threat from anyone, then ditch those who don't understand and be you.
2006-10-23 23:52:08 · answer #5 · answered by Militia-Angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sweetheart, I think it would be best to just keep it a secret... you are still in high school- and not many teenagers would really be accepting. I'm not saying that you should be ashamed of your sexuality..but just be aware that there may be alot of hostility and insensitivity towards you from your peers...and it isnt worth it. be greatful for the friends you have (that are accepting and like you for you)..n weed out your other friends til you kno who you can really trust with that information. hope it works out!
2006-10-23 23:01:46 · answer #6 · answered by true22enigma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends how you feel about it, if they were true friends like your others, they wouldn't care, and you only have a couple more years of school. so why should you care? i mean its my opinion, and true friend is someone who is always there for you no matter what. you should be comfortable with who you are, you have a right to live the way you want, and you have your own choices to decide what you want. i hope i helped or made sense, because i usually dont..heh well good luck with your decision!--if you did tell, be sure to let them know you have no thoughts or feelings about them..
2006-10-23 23:00:19 · answer #7 · answered by ღ❤Crystal❤ღ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's entirely up to the circumstances that you are in...in the end those who support you are your friends and those who don't are not...they will take care of themselves...I do not know what the repurcussions would be, if any given your circumstances...I came out after highschool, I am more comfortable now publicly as opposed to just private...those who accept me do and those who don't...I don't hate or dislike in any way...they can draw their own conclusions...
The choice is yours privately and you should do what is best for you in the time that is right for...you are out to yourself which can be difficult in and of itself and that is admirable...
2006-10-23 23:01:16 · answer #8 · answered by gan9793 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
High school is hard. Just focus on your studies, and keep your sexual prefrence to yourself. Being true to yourself is great but you could seriouslly be outed. I'm not saying don't come out, that's your choice. But make sure you have your life going in the direction you want it to be in.
2006-10-23 23:04:12 · answer #9 · answered by aza_424 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude you should only come out if you are prepared to lose the friendship of ignorant idiots. if you do come out and they reject you then they don't deserve your friendship in the first place. and who knows some of the ones who reject you at first might change their mind later.i came out last year and at first some of my friends left me but after a while they all came to accept me.....so think about it before you make a decision and i wish you the best of luck.
2006-10-23 23:18:22 · answer #10 · answered by allen=[\m/] 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋