After asking my wife what her sexual fantasy was and she said it was to have another man join us in the bedroom. I said i was willing to do this for her and we started talking about it, about five minutes in she started freaking out and saying she couldnt believe i was willing to let another man touch her. Now she wont talk to me. All i wanted to do was fufill her deepest and darkest fantacies. i need help and advice QUICK!!!!!!!!
2006-10-23 15:52:59 · 18 answers · asked by steve h 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, I think she put herself in a pickle, not the other way around. She told you what she wanted, but she is upset that you agreed. She can't have it both ways. She is hurt and she will have to get over it. You did nothing wrong. Did you expect her to have that fantasy? My guess it that you were surprised, but pleased that she felt confident about herself and you too. Just explain it how it is.... don't let the words get in the way. Good luck
2006-10-23 16:41:16 · answer #1 · answered by KaLee 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wooh boy! I have to say what your wife wants to really hear at this point is that you love her and after thinking about it could never really handle seeing her with anyone else. Let her know you understand why she got upsent and all you really wanted to tell her is you are wanting to spice up your sex life and want her input. Reconnect by discussing some role playing you could do together and see if maybe you could be the man she is fantasicing about. Add some spice by pretending to be other people but to make it work you need to spend some real time creating your character (or create eachother's characters). Maybe get some bedroom accessories to play with and get out of your comfort zone with her. The most important thing is to make sure she knows you never want to lose her and if she really wanted to be with another man you would kill him (trust me she needs to hear this). But be loving when you say it.
2006-10-23 16:03:09 · answer #2 · answered by www.lindseysmith.pureromance.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well just because it is a fantasy of her's doesn't mean it is something she would want to actually do. probably makes he wonder a little about your relationship if you are willing to let another man touch her. i'd say apoligize to her, tell her that you were only willing to do it because you want to fulfill all her dreams and fantasies for her.
oh and i really don't suggest ever doing something like that. but really after the shock of it wears off she should be able to see it from your point of view and accept your apoligy and move on.
2006-10-23 16:02:14 · answer #3 · answered by my101201cutiepie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Um. I think you forgot what you asked her!! You asked what her FANTASY was?. She told you her fantasy, but that does not mean that she actually wanted it to happen. Not too sensitive are ya? Arrogant and chauvinistic too right? How can I tell? Your question gives it away....asked "the wife". Unbelievable. Women love to be called "the wife". Makes us feel just like "the table" or "the television". I don't blame her for being upset. My advice, divorce so she can find a decent man to marry.
I am SO glad my husband is intelligent enough to know the right thing to say all of the time.
2006-10-23 16:04:58 · answer #4 · answered by Goddess Kitty 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Women are funny. We say one thing and mean a complete other. In her eyes she thinks you don't care if another man touches her while you watch. Just let her know that you were only talking about it and would never really be able to go thru with it. Tell her you love her to much and would be way to jealous to ever let anything like this happen. Good Luck!!
2006-10-23 15:58:04 · answer #5 · answered by blue88210 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't understand your wife because what she told you is to test your jealousy. You take it seriously and add fuel to fire. Where in the world, a man let his wife to be touch and screw by other man ? Put yourself in her shoe, you think you can tolerate this fantasy ? Better to make an apology to her, go for a candle light dinner or a small gift for her.
2006-10-23 17:46:29 · answer #6 · answered by James Louis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
women are apt to change thier minds, but the way you present this, is sounds as if she trapped you
how long have you been together.. previous trust issues... ect, you will want to consider.
give some time to cool down, then go talk to her
if she will not talk tonight, try tomorrow
if you want it to work out.
i know sometimes things are said and done within a marriage that can be very hurtful and cannot be taken back. give it time
2006-10-23 16:06:25 · answer #7 · answered by Shake-Zula 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are some fantasies that are meant to stay in the world of "fantasy" - not things that would be fun in "real life".
But it's a communication issue to make sure that both of you understand which fantasies fall into which category...
2006-10-23 16:04:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes fantasies are just fantasies. She sounds like she wants you to be possesive. You should call me, that's a fantasy of mine and I'm not afraid to actually go through with it.
2006-10-23 15:59:43 · answer #9 · answered by mia R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it blow over dude, drink a few beers and shut the hell up. You messed up good this time so learn to not talk like that in the future...its like saying bad stuff about your in-laws.
2006-10-23 16:59:07 · answer #10 · answered by Johnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋