My stepkids annoy me and dont listen to me they r 4 & 5
What do I do?
What should I think of that?
2006-10-23 15:51:58 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Think again about getting married. Even men who promise to love and care for their soon to be stepkids turn out bad later on. This guy has already shown irritation so confront him.
Our kids really mean more to us than we ever know, more than any other guy. In the midst of our loneliness we seek a man's company. But if that company will only serve to hurt our kids, it would be better to avoid it..
2006-10-23 15:59:02 · answer #1 · answered by Ai 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What should you think of that? I dont know. Only YOU can answer that. What DO you think of it? If you are marrying this person and he doesnt feel comfortable talking with you about an important issue such as this, what basis do you have for your relationship? Stepkids can make or break a relationship and this should be addressed BEFORE you enter into a serious commitment.
Maybe you can think about bringing the subject up with him in an indirect way and opening it up for discussion so that he feels safe enough to express his feelings. You dont have to mention that you saw his posting. Rather, let him know that you value honesty and opennes in a relationship on ALL topics and hope that he is comfortable enough with you to discuss them.
It concerns me that an issue of this magnitude has not been addressed with only 5 days to go. The ones most impacted by it will be YOUR CHILDREN> their well-being should come first, dare i say even above your boyfriend. Peace and Good Luck
2006-10-23 16:00:51 · answer #2 · answered by paperplanes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i re married when my kids were 7 and 9. I know my kids are annoying sometimes. It would not bug me if my husband was asking advice on how to deal with them. I also know my husband loves them a lot. He thinks about them and rents movies just for them buys them things on his own. HE gets tired of em just as i do! being a parent is trying and mentally hard. This bigger question for you is dose he love and accept them? I don't know either of you so it's hard to say online from just what he ask how he feels. I would not take it personal unless he is a bad father bad role model bad person. You already know the kids have to be 1st. I told my husband before we married I'll never pick him over them. I would never stay with him if he was not good to my kids. If you feel this man will not be a good dad there is no way you can marry him. Don't cheat your kids out of a happy home life.
2006-10-23 16:07:54 · answer #3 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. First Thing.....You should be grateful that he is seeking advice. it was poorly worded, But he is trying. If he is going to be the " Daddy " he needs to feel that he has some control over the children. When he discipline's them you need to not interfere. If you have a problem with what he said or did. You need to take him in the other room and talk to he about it. Don't yell at him in front of the children because they will know that he has no authority and that mommy will step in. So they will not listen to him. Which will bring alot of trouble into your relationship.
2006-10-23 16:29:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. maybe you should confront him, and explain that he is going to be a part of the family and theres a certain amount of respect that should be shared between him and your children...
also, you should sit down the kids and him, and all have a talk and try to come to an agreement that they've got to listen and respect him because he is very important to you...
Kids are always "annoying"; thats like their job... but they are your children and if he has ill feelings tword them; than that cant be a good sign...
2006-10-23 15:56:03 · answer #5 · answered by llsoinlovell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if I was in your position, there is no way I am going to marry this man. Those kids are yours I assumed, for me my kids are the first priority, marrying this man who thinks your kids are annoying, I reckon is very risky. In Australia, there is this 2 yr old girl who spelt something on her dress while her Mum's boyfriend is looking after her, you know what he did, he put her in a dryer, poor baby was burnt all over, he was charged though thank goodness. Just an example how important it is for your future husband to love your kids almost the same way you love them.
2006-10-23 16:05:19 · answer #6 · answered by Ally 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At least he is asking for help, so answer him. Give him the best advice from the only one who could, he loves you though. Your getting married!!! Maybe he doesn't know how to bring this up to your face and is afraid he would hurt your feelings. So prove that he can come to you with this and answer him back with what you feel he should do and then tell him you still love him. He would probably get a kick out of it and in the future feel more relaxed to approach you with issues in the future. Congradulations!!!!
2006-10-23 16:03:02 · answer #7 · answered by hothink5 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you had best talk to him about it and also think you should be having secound thoughts this is a great big problem you have I have the same thing they really want us but they really dont the kid or kids and they allways seem to get in the way.. Im where you are almost cant really have romance if the kids are bothering him... sorry
2006-10-23 17:15:19 · answer #8 · answered by Cher623 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you need to worry...because kids are annoying sometimes and he didnt say he disliked them...so i think the best thing to do is talk but not to get upset over him feeling the way he does because kids will be kids and also he obviously didnt want to hurt you or them and thought to look for advice himself...so i think thats good but the best thing to do would be to talk openly and honestly with understanding...because its a massive decision...its for the rest of your lives so be clear about everything but otherwise i dont think its that big a deal him looking for advice:)
2006-10-23 16:10:24 · answer #9 · answered by misseeme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I'd confront him about it. Maybe sit him and the kids down (4 and 5 year olds are supposed to have fun and annoy people, it's that stage of life for them). But definitely have a one on one with your fiance.
2006-10-23 15:55:41 · answer #10 · answered by mitchsnitch24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋