I've watched my brother and sister in law act like complete idiots?

Question

when she found out about him having an affair. He did move out of their family home leaving wife and daughter. They have been married 15 years and the fighting going on right now is over him cheating of course, but mainly over the fact that he doesn't want to try and salvage their marriage. They have always been a fabulous couple and my family is puzzled and also hurting over this. I feel her pain so much and I am trying to be diplomatic but I am pissed at my bro. I mean I don't lecture or attack him at all but he doesn't ever want to talk about the situation with any one mainly his wife, my sister in law. Any suggestions on ways to help them, they both are clearly hurting and I am worried about daughter. They really are good people and we all make mistakes but what could possibly be a reason he wouldn't even try to mend his marriage

Answer 1

It's possible he doesn't love her any more. That would be a reason he wouldn't even try to mend his marriage. He wants out.

Answer 2

I always look at it this way. Things were not that good or he would not have had an affair. You never know what went on behind closed doors. Don't judge just be as supportive as possible. Remember even if they get a divorce that doesn't mean your relationship needs to. You have loved your sister in law for 15 years and she is the mother of your niece. As people say don't judge until you have walked in their shoes. Who knows why your brother did this. Good luck in your new relationships with your niece and sister in law as they need all the support they can get

Answer 3

I know that you really want to help but it really is none of your business...

He's the only one who can decide if he wants to salvage the marriage or not and he doesn't need to give anyone an excuse. Yes they may have seemed like a perfect couple on the outside but sometimes, things are nothing like what they seem. Just try to coax them into being civil to each other for the sake of their daughter.

People thought that the relationship between my most recent ex and I were perfect but it was not even close. I hated him more and more each day, he had the worst personality and would make up things because he was a terrible conversationalist.

Answer 4

Maybe he can't forgive himself? OR there is lots more to them than what meets the eyes of the family and friends. Was there a reason for your brother to have an affair? Yes, everyone makes a mistake and if you are sorry, it means you will never do it again. Is he sorry? If he is, he will go back to working things out especially when she seems so willing. But if he doesn't want to do it, he is finding a way out, for a reason. Ask him! Hopefully he will talk to someone, maybe you? Continue your neutral stand, don't judge him. I put myself in your shoes and asked myself what I'd do. So the above is what I would think...and do.

Answer 5

salam... A Nasheed is an Islamic-oriented music. historically, it is sung using vocal music or making a music devoid of instrumental accompaniment or accompanied in basic terms with the help of a daff. If those nasheeds have Islaamic meanings devoid of any musical contraptions then there is not any subject in listening this. Then yet another undertaking is that it won't replace right into a habit via fact diverts listeners of the nasheeds from the recitation of the Quran. yet another factor is they don't have moving tunes which make the listener experience mesmerized as occurs to those that pay attention to songs. it is the case with lots of the nasheeds which seem in recent times, so as that the listeners now no longer pay any interest to the solid meaning of the words, via fact they're so entranced with the help of the tunes.

Answer 6

Many times a marriage can appear good to outsiders when it has really been falling apart for years. I'm sure there are issues between your brother and his wife that you are unaware of. It's good of you to be concerned and share your worries for their daughter. Your sister-in-law should read a couple books - one called "Love Must Be Tough" by James Dobson and "Boundaries in Marriage" by Cloud and Townsend. These will help her understand both her husband's behavior and the best way for her to respond to it. THIS IS CRITICAL We wives have to be careful not to make our husbands respect us less, especially when they are out of line. Get her those books and read them with her.

Answer 7

Men who have had affairs do not want to confirm them or even discuss them at all since as long as there is some doubt as to the circumstances, they feel the hurt to the other party can be kept to a minimum. Believe it or not, the reason they seldom admit the whole truth is that they know instinctively that that truth, to the extent that it erases all doubt in the other party, can be devastating to that other party.

Answer 8

I know you WANT to help, but girl...you can't tell anyone what to do in a love relationship. If he doesn't want it, there's nothing you can do or say that will make him. The BEST thing you can do, is let the cards fall where they may, and after that...continue being friends with your sister in law, and helping your niece through it all. I know it will be hard on everyone...divorce always is, but they'll survive it, and your niece will be fine if she knows she still has her family.

Answer 9

There is probably more to the situation than they are saying. I would stay out of it and let them work it out. No one can make them stay together if they don't want to. I know this has to be a tough situation but it will work out the way it is supposed to. What would be the best thing for you to do is to be there for your niece. She will need someone to talk to and a shoulder to cry on.

Answer 10

There may be problems there that you are unaware of, so don't be so quick to try and be the one to fix this. This is their problem to solve, you just need to be neutral, yet supportive in their decisions. You could always try to have a closer relationship with your niece, that way she has an outlet too, this is bound to get hard for her also.