am i being shallow?

Question

my gf and I starting going out in high school, 11th grade, and after high school we went to different colleges, but we are still together and the schools are not that far apart so we still see each other everyday and hang out. But recently I dont look at her the way I used to, I instead look at other girls at my school and wish i could go ask them out. Yet I cant break up with my gf cuz we are each others firsts and I dont think I have it in me to do it. Partly because im her escape from home and her shoulder when she needs help, so I cant leave her hanging. Am I just being shallow or something because i dont know what to do? =/

Answer 1

You have to brave up and be honest with yourself...and her.

Answer 2

Being shallow is not understanding that you may be past the age of sixteen, but are still behaving like a kid.

To make life choices at the age of fifteen or sixteen is a mistake. Mature people come to understand that things change and that being in the midst of a bevy of other beautiful girls (remember that your gf is also in the middle of a new social scene, too) and not finding them attractive is pretty much impossible.

Speak to your gf and tell her what you are feeling. If you are truly friends and have matured even a little bit since high school, you'll come to a decision that you don't have to be exclusive to one another in a time when you are supposed to be discovering new adventures.

If you are intimate with your gf, consider taking a break from that situation. If you are a smart kid, you'll take this time to find out about all kinds of people, not only romances. You are in college in an attempt to change, right? To discover new ideas, learn about new things? So is the girl at the other college.

Be straight with each other and explore. If you are meant to truly be #1 to each other, you'll survive the trials to come.

good luck.

Answer 3

I don't think I would say you are being "shallow". This is just a part of life. First loves are hard to get over, but they don't always last hon either. You and your girlfriend are growing and changing, your lives are changing and at some point in time, you may begin to want different things out of life. If you've been with her this long, be honest with her. Tell her you don't want to hurt her, but need to take a break to see if this is what you want. These things happen, and they happen alot. That's why they are called "highschool sweethearts"...they rarely last longer than that. If you do this right, chances are that you will always have a special bond with your girlfriend and can remain close. Just consider how you would feel if it were her telling you this and go with your heart while breaking the news....it won't ever steer you wrong.

Answer 4

When you feel like you're just not into someone the way you used to be, you need to let them go. It's not fair for her. She thinks you love her and honestly it sounds like you don't. I don't know how long you've been together for, but sometimes you just have to let go. Trust me, even though you feel this way, it will hurt when you first breakup, but time will heal everything. There is always going to be an excuse to stay together... Christmas, you like her family, Vacations, etc... you can't make that be the reason you stay together. If the feelings aren't there... then they're not there. Let her go. It's worse if you hang on. Good Luck!!!

Answer 5

There is a way to continue being her shoulder, and date others too.

Explain it to her. You also have to realize it's time she grew up and didn't depend on you so much! She also needs to reach out to others and try dateing others too. YOU never know, after several dates, u 2 may find you are ment for each other. You can always get back together.

Answer 6

It sounds as though you are staying with your gf out of obligation..Just because you and her are firsts) does not mean you have to stay with her forever,you are feeling guilty,right now ans feel as though if you let go you will be doing her wrong..It is a hurtful situation I agree,but you just are not into her as much as you once were....you cannot help how you feel..you need to explain to her how you feel but that u want to remain friends.I don,t think you r shallow.If you continue to feel guilty ,you could end up marrying this girl and having a unhappy marriage.Its not worth it.

Answer 7

hard as it may be, you shouldn't be with her just because she was your first girlfriend or because you feel bad about leaving her. Just because she was your first girlfriend doesn't mean she is the one you're meant to be with your entire life. If you really dont feel like she is, it will be best for the both of you in the long run to end your relationship, and the longer you way the harder it will be on both of you.

Answer 8

Both of you need to see what it's like to be with other people too. You cannot simply tie yourself down and feel sorry for each other everytime. How would you know that this girl is really your forever when you havent been with anyone else?

Answer 9

it sounds like you love her and you are just infatuated with other girls. the grass is not always greener on the other side. but if you are wanting to date other girls then if you really do care about her then you will break up with her before you pursue anyone else because you could cause her serious issues with other men.

Answer 10

No, if you don't feel it--you don't feel it. But if you end it--make sure that is what you really want.

It sounds like you are friends more than anything and you could probably hang on to at least the friendship aspect.

Answer 11

Be honest with yourself. You can't spend you whole life with a girl you don't love, that wouldn't be helping her either.She will porbably be hurt if you break up with her but it's better than being with a person that doesn't love you as much as you love them.Take care.