Should a 17 year old girl have a baby?

Question

Yes it is me again. I just want to say that i can't force my sister to have an abortion. I know she is not HAPPY with being pregnant. While she is feeling this way her boyfriend is coming up with baby names (she is only 6 weeks pregnant). She is not thinking that far ahead. He is really immature and snorts pills. My sister had all the time in the world to have a baby and i think she should think about abortion. Don't say adoption cause that would never happen. She might as well have it if she was going to give it up.

People can say she should have been on birth control and she was but missed 3 pills and stopped taking them until she went back to the doctor. I know that guy (Her b/f) talked her into this cause he wants my sister so bad that he can't stand it. He wants to marry my sister but my mom will not sign the papers for her. I just believe that her life would be alot better now and later on hif she did not have this baby right now. No, I don't hate my sister or her unbornbaby

I am not going to keep shoving the abortion option down her throat. I want to tell her that she dosen't have to have the baby if she dosent want to or just because he does. It is her life i know that but having a baby this young is really going to ruin her life no matter what you all say. I think life would go better for her to go to school and make something out of herself then laid back with a baby. If she was happy with this then why is she saying i will get homeschooled once i start showing? I am 10 years older than her and i think i know a bit more than she does. I think she should wait about having a family. what do you all think?

to answerer #1 that is not true. i have done so much research on here for other people on abortion and it does not make you sterile. You can get pregnant after an abortion

It is her life right but she is a minor

Answer 1

If she doesn't want it then she shouldn't have it, but she should decide soon, you can only get abortions up to a certain time, she's cutting it close. It sounds like she's in a pretty bad situation and bringing a child into the mess will not be good for anyone.
I had one when I was 20 and I do not and will never regret it. It was the best thing for me to do at that time in my life.
It sounds like your a great sibling, just help her decide without pushing her one way or the other. She'll do the right thing for her.

Answer 2

If the boyfriend is not healthy (ie. into drugs more than not), then it's not a safe environment for a child to be in. Is he willing to give this up to be a father? The reason I say this, is because you say he "wants her so bad" -- then if so, she should make some ground rules -- and should have you and/or other family members to help her stand her ground.

The larger question is if she is a user too, even once in awhile.... because if so, this would greatly impact the fetus. Is that a remote possibility? and if so, is there a possibility that she could continue using throughout her pregnancy?

I hope the answer is no, and that the only concern you have is for her age. Yes, it's inconvienent, but it will not ruin her life if she has support from family and friends and her boyfriend. It might delay graduation and/or college -- but before this happened what were her decisions on this matter? Is she strong in school? Does she want to go to college? Was she talking about taking a year or two off before she went to college? Had she already been accepted?

If she is forced out of her high school before she graduates (depends on the state) -- she can still get her GED. If she wants to get more education, then after the baby is a little older, she could take one class at a time at a community college without really declaring a major -- though for financial aid and other things, she would have to be full time

Is her boyfriend in school or graduated? What does he plan to do to support his new family?

There are a lot of unknowns here. It is good that you want her to have what is best for her, but ultimately, she needs to make that decision. However, if there are any indications that the situation is not healthy, for either her or her fetus, then someone needs to intervine on her behalf, if at all possible. She may not want anyone's intervention, but the envrionment she is in should be a positive one, and if there is any possibility that this is not the case you or someone else close to her should help her be safe and healthy.

By the way, I am pro-choice, but from your question I see that your sister may not want an abortion. So I've geared my answer to ideas/questions that might help you help her in whatever choice she makes...

Answer 3

No matter what people think, she will make up her own mind. Personally, I don't know of anyone that would think it's "a good thing" to have a baby at 17 years old....... but people have done it - and some people even raised good kids and maintained a marriage.... It doesn't usually work out that way though.

If your sister's not happy about it, I can't imagine her enjoying her child for the next 21 years. Adoption is a wonderful option - but maybe not for her..... just because she's not happy - doesn't mean this innocent life shouldn't come into the world and be raised by someone who really would like children...... 2 ways to look at everything.. Ultimately it is a decision only she can make..... Abortion have drawbacks too - so nothing should be 'gone into' lightly - especially a marriage.

Answer 4

I don't think you should push abortion either, this is her life and so its her choice. I personally had my son when I was 17, he is nearly 4. You are making it sound like having a baby is the worst thing in the world, I had to do it all by myself as my partner at the time wanted a baby to put a rope around me but it didn't work, I was a single mother once my son turned 4 months and it didn't ruin my life it just made my prioitys change, There are options to go back to school after having a baby. even if its not school she can get her education from TAFE or something.

Having a baby will change her life but it won't be for the worst, she need support from you and your family to help her not try and make her decision for her. She needs to know that you will all be there nomatter what she choses to do. I believe that a baby choses when to come into the world, I was on the pill with my son and he still came. There is a reason for everything that happens you may not see it now as normally you cant see it until your looking back at your life but plese dont pressure her. I know how hard it is to have everyone around me telling me a baby would ruin my life and I should have an abortion.

Your sister should speak to a counciller so she can make the decision without infulance from other partys involved, It needs to be her decision as she is the one who will have to live with the decision that is made for the rest of her life, not you not your parents but HER. Please support her and let her know that women do have children young and live happily ever after, not just the negative but she needs to hear that it won't be easy but if its what she wants to do then she can do it and still have a future.

I wish her all the best.

Answer 5

I was 17 when I got pregnant with my son. I was married, moved out, and already in college at the time. My situation is a little different though--I'm not your "typical" pregnant teen. I'm still married, happier then ever, and I'm not on any assistance---parental or government.

If she wants the baby--she'll do an excellent job taking care of it. It's one of those things--"where there's will there's a way." No, you have no say in if she gets an abortion or not. If you continue lecturing her or treating her differently she'll drift far away from you. She will son resent you for not leaving the situation alone. Yes, you are her sister but you don't have the authority or know it of your mother. Let her handle it.

Best I can say is be there for her. I don't know her exact situation but if she's still in HS she's going to need all the help she can get. Best of luck!

Answer 6

so you are trying to convince her not to ruin her life...the only way to convince someone of something is to let them see for themselves. by this i mean, let her see how hard it is to take care of an infant, 10month old, 1 yr old, 2 year old, 3 year old, etc...let her see how many bottles, diapers, tears, runny noses, etc. a baby goes through in a day or two. maybe she can volunteer or do community service at a daycare. don't tell her it's so she can be dissuaded from having a baby, but tell her since she is having a baby, this would be a good opportunity to get some experience and learn some things. it might work
I work at a daycare full time in the infant room and let me tell you, it's no fun at all. working at a daycare is a great form of birth control, because at least once a day i tell myself, 'i never want kids!!"
hope everything works out...and if she doesnt agree to this then i would just let her be. but always be there for her and support her. especially after the baby comes and "dad" is no longer in the picture. thats when she'll need you most and don't say "i told you so" cuz that'll only make it worse. just remember ur her sister and she needs you the most.

Answer 7

I'm 20... a full-time college student, jobless, and starving for money. Employers are hard-asses when it comes to hiring part-time students so I just don't work and focus on school.
Now i'm pregnant and I thought that I would get an abortion. I didn't get one but ended up miscarrying. I had decided that I was going to keep the baby and accept responsibility for what I had done and be happy that at least i'm still alive and that this baby would be good for me. Now that i'm not having it, I am devastated and wish that I had never been upset at first. Think about your religion and what you believe would be best before actually thinking based on logic. The heart always wins!

Answer 8

A 17year old girl should NOT have a baby, but she is pregnant now. While I can imagine how frustrating it is to you, she needs to make her own decisions. They may not be what you want, but she is not you. You should support your sister in whatever she decides. Step back from yourself for a second and think about how difficult it must be for HER to have made this mistake with a LOSER? How about being in the position of taking a life because it's not a convenient time? That is a huge decision that should not be taken lightly. She needs your love and support right now, not your judgment and resentment. So what if she's a minor? This is still a difficult place for her to be in.

Answer 9

honey here's the problem, you can not and should not try and force someone to have an abortion. If she has one because someone else wants her to that may be something that she regrets for the rest of her life. No matter how much better off you think she might be it's her decision to make not your's. She has to do whatever is best for her.

I had an abortion 5 years ago willingly and I do not regret it, it was the best choice for me. but that in no way means that it is the best choice for everyone. You should be supportive of her. Maybe give her some info about considering it but dont try and force her to do it. good luck to you. I was 19 at the time and newly married. She still has time left to think about it though, I had mine when I was 12 weeks pregnant.

Answer 10

In general, a 17-yr-old has no business getting pregnant.  Having babies is for people ready for all the responsibilities involved, including supporting a household.  I bet I could count the number of unmarried pregnant 17-yr-olds in the USA who meet that standard on my fingers.

But you're asking about a particular 17-yr-old.  She has no concept of the future, appears to have no way to handle the responsibilities, and would just be throwing the burdens onto other people.  Since one of those people sounds likely to be YOU, you have a legitimate interest in what she does.

Start summing up expenses for housing, car, food, utilities and whatnot.  Then add typical baby expenses, including lost work time when the baby is sick.  Go over this with your sister.  Ask her what SHE is going to do about this, especially with a druggie BF who will probably steal her money for his next night of partying.  (I'm sure you will be able to find accounts of this happening, in case she denies that it could.)

Then ask her what kind of a life that will be for a baby.

She's already in denial; if she just denies it, nothing is lost.  But if you break her out of it, she may get bit by the responsibility bug one way or the other.  Either way, it can't hurt.