There is a girl who is my boyfriend's childhood friend. He used to like her for the loooooongest time, even though they never went out. She is very casual with him, and often playfully does things to him (i.e. smacking or messing up hair, etc)... She is the type of girl who loves attention and just... I don't like it at all when my bf goes home for holidays... because I know SHE hangs out with him (also other friends, I think)... I am going to his hometown to spend Thanksgiving this year for the first time, and I think he's gonna try to get me and this girl to hang out or something... I know that it's probably okay, and that I shouldn't be jealous and trust my boyfriend... but this girl is just SO annoying to me in my mind... and I've never met her! I've talked to her online and she is pretty pretentious and arrogant to me... Even though she tries to sound nice... What do I do when I meet her? I need help! *cry*
2006-10-23 13:38:59 · 16 answers · asked by reba 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Other than your perception of her, does she give you any reason to believe that she and your boyfriend are more than friends? You have to realize that she was his friend before the two of you met. Believe me if they've ever "hooked up" it has happened already.
So, just relax. Your bf is not hiding this woman from you, in fact you've talked to her on-line and are coming home with your bf to possibly meet her. Let me tell you in the world of men, you are a way bigger deal to him that this childhood friend if he's including this woman in both of your lives. If he was actually having any type of relationship with her other than friendship, he wouldn't even mention her name. Two timing men are scared to death of one woman meeting another, believe me.
When you meet, you have to maturely act like she's no big deal. Even if she gets under your skin, don't mention it to your boyfriend. If he says what do you think of so and so, say, she's cool. Keep your comments basic and no matter how she looks or what her physical shape is, never let another woman begin to make you think that she is better than you. Don't be mean, but act like this whole thing doesn't matter. Don't focus on her and I promise your boyfriend will be inclined to see how mature you are and love you even more. He'll know for sure that you're his best friend. Women are everyone and there's no need to panic until you have a concrete reason. You'll be fine...
2006-10-23 13:57:06 · answer #1 · answered by indepwman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alright - take a step back from this for just a moment. First off, she may be involved with another person. Secondly, you have only talked to her online where you cannot tell the manner that comments are meant. Also, she may be thinking the same about YOU!
I think that you came up with your own answer - this girl is so annoying to me in my mind. You're setting yourself up to hate her without even meeting her. That's not fair to her and your BF will smell this a mile away. Drop the jealousy bit, relax and keep a positive mind set - she may be cool.
2006-10-23 13:45:00 · answer #2 · answered by Tiger by the Tail 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You must put your best face forward. Go in telling yourself you were wrong about her and try to like her. Be nice, real and kind and you may just get to know the real her, not the one chatting online. She could turn out to be a good friend of you both. If not, your man will still appreciate the awesome girl that you are for being a fun, good time, and good sport when he needed you to be. Either way you win. Whine, or pout and you loose.
2006-10-23 13:42:50 · answer #3 · answered by JULIE J 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ha! Been there! For his sake, meet her. Now, you know what is appropriate in your relationship, and what is not - standards in different relationships are different.
If she treats him in a way or talks to him in a way that would upset you boyfriend if a guy was treating you in that manner, you need to bring that to his attention.
It's not easy making someone "pick" , and it doesn't have to come down to that, but if she is inappropriate with him ,and it makes you uncomfortable, he should tell her to back off. If she can't handle it, she needs to go away. If he doesn't have enough respect for you to avoid situations that are going to make you uncomfortable, what lays down the road for you two?
You should be the priority at this point for him, bottom line.
2006-10-23 13:46:01 · answer #4 · answered by Shaken Not Stirred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every sensible girl would feel some tension around this chick if he has had a thing for her in the past. I would be cool and collected around her and my boyfriend. Don't let either of them see you concerned, but WATCH IT! If you have an uneasy feeling, go with it, and stay alert without letting anyone think you are jealous or controlling.
2006-10-23 13:42:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should just calm down.U never know until U meet her.Ive had a problem like this to,and i just waited until i met him and he was pretty nice.Of cource i could be wrong if i am and this girl is crazy just don't worry about it,try to ignore her as much as you can.
2006-10-23 13:45:33 · answer #6 · answered by Gir 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some free advice...since you sent this out for millions to review... :)
Get over your insecurities and jealousy...ASAP----or you are gonna lose your boyfriend!
Give her a chance, she may be really nice, there is a reason he has been so fond of her for so long; and maybe you could find her good points if you were not so busy hating her.
2006-10-23 13:41:57 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she is there,try to get to know her.If that won't work talk to your boyfriend.Tell him how you feel.Explain that you know that the two of them are really great friends,but tell him it's not all that right for him not to spend so much time with her.Tell him that you are feeling a little left out.
I hope you two solve your problems!!Good luck!
2006-10-23 13:48:45 · answer #8 · answered by American Cutie!!! 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
don't allow yourself to feel threatned by this girl, you should trust you man, this girl must just want to you to feel like she has some kind of title on him because she's known him for so long, she obviously want to make you feel insecure, don't allow it, if you meet up with her over thanksgiving just go with the flow it's not like you guy will become best buddies.
good luck girl.
2006-10-23 13:48:03 · answer #9 · answered by agata 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
give her a chance! People's imagination's go wild all the time! Clear your mind about all the things she might do to annoy you! Start off to a clean slate.
2006-10-23 13:42:11 · answer #10 · answered by Mandee 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋