I have dated my boyfriend now for 6 months, he has his own place. We work together also. He broke up with me once saying he had to try because his dad was pressuring him and because of his son. That lasted 5 days and he kept calling and calling me as he said he realized he had made a mistake and was in love with me. It was great for a while but he doesn't seem to be settling his affairs ie still sharing bank accounts, not making an effort to discuss selling their house. He's even building a play arena at the house for his son. He's a very devoted father and is very attentive towards me and sees me every evening and we sleep at each others houses. When I asked him if his ex knew he was dating he got mad at me for asking , and that shocked me. I asked when he thought he would introduce me to his children (I didn't expect it for a long time) he said he hadn't even thought about it.
I have broken up with him twice, and he gets extremely emotional, with promises. What should I do?
2006-10-23 13:19:26 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I recently broke up with him and he kept calling and calling until I agreed to talk with him. He always makes promises and then when I ask about them he gets upset.
Do you feel he is not settling with the ex in case I break up with him. He's never dated anyone as young and attractive as me.
2006-10-23 13:22:50 · update #1
CAN U HEAR YOURSELF?!!
He has never dated anyone as young and attractive as me...
you left something out! STUPID AS YOU!
first of all, he is not introducing u to his family because u r trash to him. He is not divorcing his wife..because SHE'S the mother of his child. He's just using up your youth...If you think you r better than his wife in looks & bedroom skills, then you have your priorities mixed up! She's still his wife hon. SHE is the one he presented to the world and said THIS IS MY WIFE!
This is what you should do....cut it now, less he's getting a divorce in 24 hours, cut it loose!!
Save the drama...don't go for the movie story ending...simply CLOSE this chapter of your life. That means change your number...change as much as you can change...job ...home etc...
My story: I had a married man who i adored!! We got along greatly!! I just knew I must be better than his wife. One day I said ,"do you love your wife? "he said of course i do, she's the mother of my children!!" as if I never realized that!.I said so y r u with me??!! "Because you LET ME!!"
So WE are broke apart..but his marriage is still intact. Guess who's hurting all the time?? ME!
My bed is empty, I have no family w/ him...I m in serious pain...
Listen you can hurt now, or you can hurt later...But Mr. Pain is a patient fellow,,,,he'll wait as long as it takes...and he blocks your tru happiness
*only Pride is stronger than Pain.*
And don't b so stupid as to think U r better because of your LOOKS! O my God those r only gifts from the Gods...ready to b taken away at their whim. You only have your face/body for a little, little while...don't let him use it up!
Youv'e never experienced love with your own man...could you handle that? A real relationship where he is 100% yours?? Try it , That's heaven...you r creating your own hell, and for no reason what so ever! Seriously, you know what will shock you into reality...if you c him together with his family...then you'll c the truth.. could you handle it??
Goodbye!
2006-10-23 14:30:26 · answer #1 · answered by Mee-OW =^..^= 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are stating that this man is still married you are settling. You are settling for a man that takes his marriage so lightly that he has you sleep over at each others houses and makes no attempt to be divorced FIRST before dating anyone else. He has children involved here and that should be his first priority not a girlfriend on the side. You are basically dealing with a man that is attached. HE is married. You are his mistress and he is using you. Let him keep calling. Dump his *** and change your number. Stop dealing with left overs and find a man that is free and single with no baggage. Why do you even want to deal with this emotionally unstable man with children? You need to ask yourself what is wrong with YOU that you would settle for this. He doesn't have an ex my dear he has a wife? What part of that don't you understand. The way he is treating his wife and children at this very moment by setting a bad example of a husband and father is something you should run from. Why is ok for him to treat his wife and children like this and you are ok with it? He isn't good to his children. He is teaching his children to shack up now and then with a mistress and not be a man of character and deal with your commitment to your marriage.
It isn't attractive to call you and hound you into coming back and back and back. It is insecure and unstable!
2006-10-23 21:03:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
NEVER date a seperated man. You are just complicating his and his family's life right now. They obviously have issues that need to be dealt with and settled and with you in the picture, it's easy for him to have a place to step to. If he doesn't have you, chances are he will try to make things work with his family. The other woman rarely wins out over a wife and children. If you really care about this guy, you will help him to resolve his issues one way or another by stepping back. If you are not there and he chooses to leave his family and come to you, I guess you deserve him. If you are not there and he chooses to repair his relationship with his wife, then I guess you were just a diversion. Seperated = married. If the guy hasn't thought about introducing you to his kids in 6 months, how important do you think you are to him? You are a sex toy to keep his mind occupied when it gets lonely in that apartment of his.
Put yourself in the wife's place with young children at home, wouldn't you want a chance at fixing whatever went terribly wrong? Step back and let him deal with the problems at hand. Don't break up because YOU are not the center of attention, break up because he NEEDS to make decisions and you care enough about him to give him the space to do it. There are people living in that home and you are concerned about him taking it out from under them?
You say you've been dating for 6 months and you work together. How long has he been seperated? Are you the reason he is seperated? If you are, and he leaves his family for you, you can expect the same in return in just a few years. You're what we call "a stepping stone", honey.
It's amazing to me how these women date married men and believe they are the answer to this guy's prayers. It takes two to make a thing go wrong, he's part of the two. You're not waiting on any bargain here.
2006-10-23 20:35:33 · answer #3 · answered by Cinderella 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Confusing isn't it? Serously, like all the others before me, you need to back up. Don't move in with him. Stop sleeping with him. Don't waste your pretty.
He's known you for 6 months on a intimate basis and will continue to have his cake and eat it too for as long as you let him. These guys will never make that move unless they HAVE to. Sometimes they never will. He might just find another honey for another 6 months.
Let him figure out himself what he needs to do with HIS life first. You can stay friends with him, but don't give in to him again. You deserve something real. It's hard cause your man acted totally attentive and sees you every night. But remember he is not YOURS !!!! He is just pretending to be. GIve him some space to MAN UP. Seriously, he said it himself, "hadn't even thought about it." He is just having fun, he's NOT THINKING ABOUT ANYTHING cause he is MARRIED.
2006-10-26 03:54:04 · answer #4 · answered by wondering 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a recently seperated man, I would say to leave him because even though I am a devoted father, I would not be going to my ex'x house all the time. I would also give you a definite time to meet his son. I would say after six months, I would let you meet my sons. Good Luck
2006-10-23 20:24:47 · answer #5 · answered by scottb6226 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you leave him alone, Not only is he breaking a vow he made to God. You to need to repeat for sleeping with a married man. And if u r so attractive y waste ur time with him. You reap out u sow u know. I hope your not to young to understand what that mean, If so u will learn.
2006-10-23 20:47:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to break-up and not give in. When he gets his act together and he is no longer married, then he can give you a call. Otherwise he has his cake and is eating it too. You ever meet his son? He is hiding you from his wife.
2006-10-23 20:36:44 · answer #7 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
So basically, he's still married and you're dating a married man who is emotionally unavailable. I think it's time to find someone as young and attractive as you and cut this married man free. Stop answering his calls and change jobs. You deserve so much more than this married man can give.
2006-10-23 20:32:50 · answer #8 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need to end this now. this man is married! and his wife may not know about you at all. and he sounds like he has no intentions of letting you meet his children, which indicates he's keeping you his dirty little secret. believe me, this is a situation you don't want to be in. get yourself out of this mess while you still can. and he can be as emotional as he wants to be, but you don't have to fall for it. respect yourself and respect his wife enough to get out of this once and for all.
2006-10-23 20:36:18 · answer #9 · answered by atiana 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's going to take time for him to make the break permanent. Pressuring him isn't going to help. He has to do it on his own time schedule. You have to decide if you can wait.
2006-10-23 20:24:52 · answer #10 · answered by S K 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋